Blank Slate
by can08writer
Summary: After a head injury, Michonne is left with severe memory loss of her life post-apocalypse. Rick is left with the task of helping Michonne remember the rules of the world they now live in, and the woman she's transformed into. But can Michonne learn how to be a warrior again? And does she want to? Takes place in the zombie apocalypse. A Richonne story.
1. Chapter 1

"There you are. Hi there. You're awake!"

Michonne's blurry vision focused on the white man staring down at her. He had brown curly hair, a stubbly beard that was turning gray, and startlingly blue eyes. He was staring at her with what looked like relief and a small smile, and he seemed to be waiting for a response from her, but she felt like she was suddenly dropped into a play with no script and no idea what her lines were.

Her eyes slowly scanned the room she was lying in. There was medical equipment scattered around the room on shelves and in cabinets. She could see a stethoscope and blood pressure machine placed on a table nearby, and she was laying in a bed, but it didn't seem like a hospital bed. The room she was in was painted white in color, but the paint on the ceiling in some places was peeling and had discolored spots from leaks. If this was a hospital, she was definitely going to complain to management about these conditions. She could feel an intense throbbing on the side of her head.

There was a window on one wall that was letting in bright sunlight, and a dresser on the other. The man speaking to her was sitting on a chair that was pulled up next to her bed, uncomfortably close. She leaned away from him slightly.

"Where am I?" Michonne croaked.

"You had an accident. You fell off your horse when we were redirecting the herd. A walker came for the horse and Trigger panicked and reared up and knocked you to the ground. You hit your head, you've been out almost 24 hours."

The man seemed to be speaking English, but the words he was saying made no sense. Michonne had never ridden a horse in her life, neither had she ever used one to redirect a herd. A herd of what? Sheep? Cows? She wasn't a cowgirl. And she had no idea what a walker was.

"Where's my boyfriend?" Michonne asked looking around, "Is he in the hallway?"

The man paused for a second and looked confused. He then smiled at her. "Joking already huh?"

Michonne ignored the man's question, and his too familiar attitude. Was he the doctor? A nurse? If so, he was starting to creep her out with the way he looked at her as if he knew her.

"Can you go get my boyfriend please? And my son? Let them know I'm awake now?" Michonne asked slowly. She wanted to get this unnerving man out of her room. If this was a hospital where were the other patients? Where was the staff and the announcements on the loudspeakers? Why wasn't she hooked up to any monitors? If she hit her head shouldn't they be monitoring her vitals?

"Michonne?" the man asked, his eyes narrowing slightly. "What are you talking about?"

Now she was starting to get scared. Who was this man? And where was Mike and Andre?

"Did anyone call my boyfriend? It's okay, I'll call him myself. Can… can I use a phone?" she asked, her voice beginning to tremble when she realized she was alone in a room somewhere with a strange man and no idea of how she'd gotten there.

"Michonne, there… there are no phones" the man said slowly, "are you feeling okay?"

"No I'm not okay" Michonne said shaking her head. "I don't know you, and I asked you twice already to get my boyfriend and my son and you won't do it. I don't feel okay right now. Can you please just go get them. I don't want to talk, I want my boyfriend in here right now" she demanded.

The man pulled away from her as if he were seeing her for the first time.

"Michonne, who do you think I am?" he asked.

"I don't know who you are. Are you the doctor?" she asked, starting to get annoyed at how he wasn't doing anything she asked.

"I'm not a doctor Michonne, it's me, Rick."

Michonne stared at the man. Was she supposed to know him from somewhere? Did he go to her high school? College? Was he one of her clients? He called her by her first name though, like they were friends.

"Uh yea, Rick. You're right! Yea I remember you. How have you been?" she asked in a fake happy voice. "So you work in this hospital now?"

Rick's eyes narrowed, and Michonne felt fear take over. Was he a serial killer who kidnapped his victims and tortured them for days? Did he hit her on the head and drag her to this room?

"Michonne, you really don't remember me do you?" he asked, in shock.

"P-please" she begged. "If you want money I can get it for you. Take me to the bank and I'll take out as much as you want. Please don't hurt me. I… I have a son. I have to go home to my son."

Tears welled up in her eyes and she quickly diverted them downwards towards the blanket that was covering her body. "I don't know where I am, I don't know who you are. You don't have to hurt me, I can't identify you. Please, let me go and I'll get you money and I won't say anything, okay?"

The man jumped out of the chair he was on and took a few steps back. "You think I'm gonna hurt you?" he asked.

Michonne was still looking down at her blanket. "Please don't. I just want to go home to my family."

The man placed his hand over his mouth in shock. "Michonne I would never hurt you. I know you hit your head bad but... my God."

Tears tumbled down Michonne's cheek. "Please let me go home."

The man returned to his chair and reached out to hold Michonne's hand, but she slowly inched her hand away from his. She refused to look him in the eye.

"Michonne, look at me" he said softly. She was so afraid she was trembling. When she still didn't pull her eyes away from her blanket, he continued.

"You're in the infirmary right now. In Alexandria."

"Is Alexandria a hospital?" she asked hopefully.

"No, Alexandria is a town that you've been living in for 5 years" the man said.

Michonne's eyes shot up and stared at the man. He was lying. Why was he lying? He really was a serial killer, a crazy one.

"Okay" she said, humoring him. "But I'm in an infirmary right?" she asked.

"Yes"

"So can I have a female nurse come in here please? I really feel uncomfortable and I also need to make a phone call."

Michonne had every intention of dialing 911 as soon as she got her hands on a cell phone.

The man seemed frustrated and even more confused.

"Uh… okay" he said. "Just give me a minute Michonne, I'll get Rosita."

Michonne nodded and stared at the man as he slowly backed towards the door. As soon as he went through it she hopped out of bed so fast it made her head spin. She scanned the room looking for her shoes. Thankfully she was wearing a spaghetti strap shirt and tight cargo pants, but she was barefoot. When she didn't see her shoes anywhere she began to look for a weapon, but there was nothing in the small bedroom.

' _Not like you'd know how to use one anyway'_ she thought to herself.

Trying to slow down her breathing, she crept to the bedroom door that was slightly ajar. She could see the man talking to a woman in the hallway.

So there _was_ a woman named Rosita. She'd assumed he was making that up. She turned and looked around her room again and then crept to the window.

She was relieved to see she was on the first floor of a house. She couldn't see much outside of the window except for a rosebush planted underneath. It would be painful falling into that rosebush, but if it meant she'd escape this kidnapping then she'd do it.

She curled her fingers under the lip of the window and pulled it upwards. It slid with some resistance and made a small scratching sound. She froze, and when she heard footsteps coming back to the room she dove into the bed and wiggled her legs underneath the covers, just in time.

The man re-entered the room with the woman at his side. Both of them looked concerned.

"Hey Michonne" the woman said softly, "do you remember me?"

"Um… you're Rosita, right?" she asked, trying to hide the fact that she was out of breath from leaping across the room.

"Yea, I'm Rosita. And do you know who _he_ is?" the woman asked, pointing to the man.

"He said his name is Rick" Michonne said. "Rosita, I don't know if you're a mother, but I have a son and I need to get back to him. Please."

Rosita turned towards Rick and a look of pity splashed across her face.

"Michonne I think you're really confused right now, and you took a big hit to the head so that's okay, but things aren't the way you think. We're not going to hurt you, and we're not holding you hostage here…"

"So I can leave?" Michonne asked.

"No, you can't leave" Rick said. "Not because we're holding you hostage, but you can't leave because you live here, in this town. You're already home."

"If I'm home then tell me where Mike and Andre are" Michonne said, crossing her arms. "If I'm so confused, explain something to me instead of just telling me how confused I am. Why am I here? Why do you keep asking me if I know you. No I don't know you. Just give me a phone please. I want to go home. I just want my family to come get me."

"Mike and Andre aren't here honey. They died six years ago. You told me they were bitten by walkers at a refugee camp. And there are no phones anymore, you know that" the man said, taking a step forward. Michonne's entire body tensed.

"Is this a joke? A prank? 'Cuz it's not funny" Michonne said, pointing her finger at Rick.

"No" the man said. "Michonne I think you've lost your memory. I'm your _husband_ , Rick."

Michonne narrowed her eyes at Rick and slowly slid out from underneath the blanket and off the bed.

"My husband. Right. Okay, if I've lost my memory somehow, let me see the CT scans. Let me see the damage done to my head. Let me talk to a doctor."

"There are no doctors" Rosita cut in. "You've forgotten a lot. Years worth of information. A lot has happened and it might be a little overwhelming to explain it all to you right now."

"Try" Michonne snapped, crossing her arms across her chest.

"The world has changed a lot. There's no more cell phones, they don't work. No tv. No radio. And our doctor died a few years ago, so there's no doctor either" Rosita said.

"What about computers, you have one of those?" Michonne asked sarcastically.

Rick took a step towards Michonne and she took one backwards.

"Don't come near me. I don't know either of you. I don't know why you're lying to me. What the hell is going on? Why is there no phones and tv, and radio? Was there a solar flare or something?"

"It was a virus" Rick said, "the walkers spread it, but… we're all infected. You are too."

"What the hell is a walker?" Michonne yelled. These people were not making any sense. She was trying to keep up with everything they were saying but they made no sense and they were making her head throb even more.

"It's a dead person" Rosita said. "Someone who died and came back because of the virus."

Michonne pressed her hand to her forehead. Her head was really starting to pound now.

"Are you alright?" Rick asked, taking a tentative step towards her. Michonne was now holding her head with both hands and beginning to sway.

Rick ran to her just as she stumbled and almost collapsed to the ground. Rick grabbed one arm and Rosita grabbed another and they helped her back into the bed.

"You need to stay in the bed" Rosita said sternly. "You're not stable and I don't want you falling and hurting yourself more."

"Why won't you let me leave here?" Michonne asked softly, her dizziness getting worse now that she was lying down.

"You're not well honey. You're not fit to go anywhere. Just relax. Close your eyes and take a nap. We'll talk more when you wake up, okay?"

Michonne turned her head towards the man with the blue eyes. "I'm not your honey. I'm not your wife. I don't know you. I want Andre. I want Andre! I want my son!" she yelled.

"Michonne, please…" he said, but she kept repeating the last few words over and over again.

"I want my son, I want my son. Please. I want my son." The last time she repeated the phrase, a tear trickled down her cheek. Her eyes then closed and she passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

**_***_** ** _Author's Note_** ** _: I am so grateful for the responses and reviews for chapter 1. You guys have encouraged me so much to continue writing this. I'm glad y'all are so excited about this story and I hope you're ready for the ride. Also, I edited chapter 1, Rick and Michonne are married in this story, he is not her boyfriend. If you read it as her boyfriend the first time you're not crazy, I changed it._**

Michonne's eyes snapped open. She was hoping that whole conversation with Rick and Rosita was a weird dream, and she would see the welcoming pale orange walls of the bedroom she shared with Mike, and the sound of Andre playing in the bedroom next door when she came to, but she was greeted by the plain white of the infirmary.

When she looked to her right, she was met with two bright blue eyes staring at her. She almost burst into tears in frustration.

"How do you feel?" the man asked.

"My head is spinning and I feel like I'm gonna throw up" Michonne said weakly. "Please take me home" she begged.

"Michonne, I know you don't remember me, or anything that's happened in the past 6 years, but believe me when I say you are home. The home that you remember doesn't exist anymore."

Michonne sniffled and bit her lip, wiping a tear from her eye.

"I don't understand. How do you know that? How do you know me? Why won't you let me go?"

"I've known you for six years. You were my best friend for a long time, and then we became more. We got married. We're family. We have a family together" the man said, moving closer to her. "We're going to get through this. No matter what it takes. If you give it time you'll remember all of this, I know you will."

"Why were you saying Andre and Mike are dead? What happened to my son?" Michonne asked, still unwilling to trust this stranger, but desperate to hear any possible news on her family.

Rick sighed. "I wasn't there when it happened, but you told me that you and Mike and Andre went to a refugee camp after Atlanta fell…"

"Fell?" Michonne asked.

"The walkers, the dead infected with the virus, they took over Atlanta, attacking everyone, killing everyone. The army bombed the whole city trying to kill them, but it didn't work."

"What?!" Michonne shouted.

Rick nodded.

"So Atlanta is bombed out?" Michonne asked.

"It's not just Atlanta" Rick said, "it's all the cities, everywhere as far as we know. Probably the whole world is gone. The walkers took over everything."

Michonne grimaced and looked away from Rick. This made no sense. He had to be lying, or absolutely insane. He looked like he really believed all of this which made it even crazier.

"I can see your face. I know you don't believe me. You're not very good at hiding what you're thinking, at least not from me" Rick said. "I know this seems like a crazy movie, or a nightmare, but it's true. And I can relate to how you're feeling. I was in a coma when all of this was happening. I woke up in the hospital in the middle of all this, and everything I knew had changed."

Michonne's eyes slowly scanned over to Rick's face.

"What happened to Mike and Andre in the refugee camp?" she asked.

"You told me you had gone out with a few others to find food. Mike and Andre stayed back…" Rick started.

"Why did we have to find food?" Michonne asked. "I thought we were at a refugee camp? Didn't the army give us food?"

"The rations were running out. No new ones were coming in. You said people were getting desperate, so you volunteered to get food."

"And what happened?" Michonne asked, her eyes wide and hanging on Rick's every word.

"You said when you came back to the camp it had been destroyed by a herd, a large group of walkers."

"No!" Michonne said, clasping her hand to her mouth.

"I'm so sorry Michonne" Rick said.

"What happened to Andre?" She gasped, and her terrified eyes broke his heart.

"He… I'm sorry Michonne but he was killed. He was attacked by walkers."

Michonne burst into tears. "No" she sobbed. "Oh God no."

She held her stomach and moaned, fat tears dripping down her cheeks. Instinctively Rick reached out to comfort her, but he thought better of it and didn't. She wept with her face buried in her hands. After a while when she was able to speak she looked up at Rick again. "And Mike?" She asked.

"From what I know he was bitten by walkers. You uh… you had him and your friend Terry on chains when you met Andrea… uh, she's a woman you met on the road."

"What do you mean bitten? How does a bite kill a grown man?"

"When walkers bite people the wound gets infected. It's deadly if the person doesn't amputate. The bite causes a fever that kills the person, but then they come back as a walker themselves."

Michonne gave Rick a blank stare. "How does a dead person come back. And why did I have them on chains?"

Rick, seeing that Michonne had no clue what he meant, continued. "Mike and Terry were walkers. They were dead and infected with the virus, but they were still walking around. So that they couldn't hurt you, you cut off their arms and jaws and put chains around their necks and that's how you traveled. The dead act as camouflage against the dead."

Michonne continued to stare at Rick, stunned.

"You want me to believe I chopped off Mike and Terry's body parts, chained them up, and walked around with their corpses?" Michonne asked Rick. "That is crazy. That is insane. If I did that I'd be in a mental hospital. _Why_ would I do that? And _I_ told you that? Why would you even want to be left alone with me?"

Rick chuckled and folded his fingers in his lap. "I know it seems insane, but all of us have done things like that or worse to survive. You were grieving for Andre. You were all alone. And the guilt was killing you. I know all of this is a lot to grasp. It's a lot to handle."

"I can't believe that, I can't. How could I forget something like that? How could I forget Andre dying? How can I believe anything you're saying?" She asked, wiping her eyes. "You're calling me a murderer, you're telling me I mutilated the man I loved and his friend, you're telling me I committed crimes that would have me in jail for life, but you've given me no proof. Nothing but words. I'm a lawyer, and everything is based on what you can prove. So prove it. Prove to me that things are how you say they are."

Rick stood, wanting to comfort her. Wanting to hold his wife as she went through this emotional and mental turmoil. Every one of the many traumas she'd lived in her life was brand new for her, and the wounds were as fresh as if it just happened.

"I can't prove it to you right now, you're not well enough to leave the bed yet. Rosita thinks you have a serious concussion and swelling in the brain, that's why you can't remember. If we wait for the swelling to go down maybe your memory will come back."

Michonne stared straight ahead with her arms crossed against her chest. "So you're telling me that my boyfriend and my son are dead, the entire world is destroyed, we're all infected by some virus, dead people are trying to kill us, and there are no electronics, but I don't remember any of this 'cuz I bumped my head?"

Rick chuckled when he realized how ridiculous it all sounded.

"Yea, that pretty much sums it up" he said.

Michonne wasn't amused. "That sounds pretty damn depressing. And pretty damn psychotic. Look, you can talk all you want Rick. I won't believe you until I see some proof."

"I promise, when you're well enough to leave this room I will prove to you everything I just said is true."

Michonne sighed and leaned back into her pillows. She hoped Rick was lying. She hoped Andre and Mike were alive and waiting for her to come home. She hoped that the police were on their way, but until then she had to stay on this man's good side. And that meant she may have to humor him for a while.

"So how long have we been allegedly married?" Michonne asked.

"We've been married for four years" Rick said.

Michonne looked Rick up and down. Now that she was inspecting him, he was good looking. Attractive, nice hair, in-shape, and his eyes were almost distracting. But he definitely wasn't the type of guy she was used to dating. And he seemed to be nothing like Mike. She was curious as to how they ended up together, but just when she was going to ask, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in" Rick called.

A young man in his late teens to early twenties, with brown hair, a patch that covered one of his blue eyes, a cowboy hat, and facial hair that was barely growing in, stuck his head through the doorway and smiled at Michonne. He looked like he knew her, she could see the warmness in his one eye, and the relief on his face. Michonne felt like she was supposed to know who he was, but she didn't.

"Hey Michonne! Dad said you were sleeping" the boy said, stepping further into the room.

' _Dad? This is Rick's son?'_ Michonne thought. She nodded. "Uh, yea. I'm awake."

Rick looked from Michonne to the boy. He seemed optimistic, like he was hoping she would recognize the boy, and she could tell he and the boy was disappointed by the lack of recognition on her face.

"I'm Carl" the boy said slowly, taking a few steps towards her. Unlike her reaction to Rick, she wasn't afraid of this boy, but she still felt badly that she couldn't recall any specific facts about him.

"We were worried about you. I… I was waiting for you to wake up" he explained. "Dad told me you don't remember anything."

"Yea, seems so" Michonne said softly.

"Don't worry you'll get your memory back" Carl said. "I'll help you, just like you helped me with my eye."

Michonne couldn't help but stare at the eyepatch that covered a huge portion of the boy's face and right eye. She wondered what could've possibly happened to cause that injury to him, but she figured this probably wasn't the best time to ask.

"Are we close?" Michonne asked the boy hesitantly.

"Well yea, you're my step mom" he said, inching closer to her bed. "It feels weird calling you that, but technically you are. But I love you. And you love me."

"I… I'm sorry… I don't remember you" Michonne admitted.

The boy's face dropped. "Yea I figured. Don't be sorry, I'm just glad you're alive. You could've died."

The boy reached for Michonne's hand and she didn't pull away. She could tell this boy was really attached to her, and although to her this was the first time they'd met, she acknowledged that he thought of her as his mother.

"I'm so glad you're alive Michonne. Take your time and get rest, but get better, okay?" he asked.

"Okay" Michonne responded, and to her surprise the boy leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Michonne's eyes popped open in amazement, but she squeezed his hand to comfort him.

"Dad, I'm gonna pick Judith up and take her home" Carl said.

"Okay, make sure she drinks water not juice with dinner please Carl. If she drinks juice past 7:30 you know she won't go to bed."

"Okay. Bye dad, bye Michonne" Carl said.

"Bye Carl" Michonne and Rick responded simultaneously. Michonne shot a look at Rick while Carl closed the door behind him.

"So that's your son?" Michonne asked.

"Our son" Rick explained. "I mean, not genetically, obviously…"

"And Judith?" Michonne asked. "Did we… is she mine?"

"She's yours in every way except genetics. But you've raised her since she was a baby. You're the only mother she remembers. She calls you mommy."

At those words, Michonne's mind went back to Andre. She missed her little boy so much. If Rick was right, she'd never hear him call her mommy again.

The tears began to fall before she could think of stopping them.

"I'm sorry Michonne. Oh honey" Rick said, placing his hand on her leg, but Michonne was still uncomfortable with him touching her and she pulled away. After a few seconds she wished she hadn't when she saw the hurt look on his face that he couldn't hide fast enough.

He took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm gonna go outside the room, I'll give you some time to be alone. If you need anything just call out and I'll be right back" Rick said.

Michonne said nothing, so he turned around and left the room, keeping the door open a crack.

Michonne wiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks, but as soon as she was completely alone she couldn't hide her devastation any longer. She allowed herself to fully express the pain she was feeling. Her son was dead. Mike was dead. Everyone she knew was probably dead. And there was nothing left in the world but what was in this town. It was a difficult concept to fully grasp, but what she could understand scared her.

What was the point of any of this? Why keep living with this family she didn't know, this husband she didn't know, this life she didn't know? Her baby was dead and she was alive. The world wasn't supposed to be like this. All of this was wrong.

She didn't want to accept this reality that these people were telling her. She didn't want this cruel, harsh world. She wanted her normal order from Starbucks, a work out at the gym, a hot shower, and a massage. She wanted Andre and Mike to come running into the room relieved to see her, she wanted to feel her Peanut's arms around her neck as he hugged her, and Mike's lips on hers as he kissed her and told her it would all be okay. The yearning she felt for her family was so strong she felt sick to her stomach.

"Rick?" She called.

Rick was back in seconds with Rosita right behind him.

"Bag" she said, clutching her stomach. Rosita grabbed a bag immediately and held it up to Michonne's face right before she emptied the meager contents of her stomach into it. She retched three times until she was done. The vomiting seemed to sap all of her strength, and she lay back down on the bed breathing hard.

"The nausea is probably the concussion" Rosita said. "Do you feel dizzy?"

"Yea, when I lay down" Michonne said.

Rosita studied the side of Michonne's head where there was a sizable bump and a black and blue bruise.

"This injury is only going to heal with time and rest. So will the emotional injuries" Rosita added, and Michonne glared at her, suddenly angry.

"Just leave me alone" she snapped. "Just… just let me…" but Michonne broke down again mid sentence, tears once again flowing from her eyes.

Rosita looked over at Rick and he nodded his head towards Michonne. He knew someone should comfort her, and as much as he wanted to wrap his arms around her he knew she would fight him. But maybe she could receive that comfort from Rosita. Rosita crouched down so that she was eye to eye with Michonne.

"Can I give you a hug?" Rosita asked her.

Michonne's lip trembled and she nodded her head. Rosita leaned in and wrapped her arms around Michonne's shoulders and the woman crumbled, crying hysterically.

"I want my baby. He can't be dead, he can't. I want Mike. I want to go home. I can't live like this. I feel so lost, and i don't understand what's going on" Michonne admitted, finally breaking down.

"It's okay, it's okay" Rosita said, rubbing circles on her back.

Rick teared up watching his wife in such anguish and unable to help her. He knew she needed to heal but he wanted to be there for her the way Rosita was. He wanted to wipe away her tears and tell her how much he loved her. He wanted to help her remember. But he knew all he could do for her now was watch and wait.


	3. Chapter 3

"Riiiiiick!" Michonne screamed, jolting upwards in her bed so fast the room started spinning.

She could hear thundering footsteps running to her room, and then her door swung open.

"Michonne? Michonne what is it?" Rick asked, plopping himself next to her on the bed. "Are you okay?"

Michonne held her head until the room stopped turning on its axis. She'd had a nightmare. But what shook her to her core was that she'd just called out for Rick, not Mike.

"Honey, are you okay?" Rick asked again, more softly this time.

"I… I think so. I'm sorry. I had a nightmare. I didn't know what I was doing."

"It's okay" Rick said, lining his eyes up with hers. "Don't apologize, this is what I'm here for. Is your head okay?"

Michonne leaned back against her pillows again. "Yes. Thank you" she said.

"Do you remember anything about your dream? Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

Michonne looked down at her fingers for a few seconds, debating if she should say anything, but after a while she turned to Rick.

"I was somewhere. It was like a playground. There were rides for kids, but they were all broken. They weren't on. I heard a gun go off. I was scared, terrified. I ran faster than I'd ever run before, I saw people but they looked weird. There was something wrong with them. They looked like monsters. And I felt… I felt like I'd lost something. I felt crushed. I don't know why. I don't remember, but it seemed so real" she said.

Rick's eyes widened in recognition. "Oh my God" he said, placing his hand on hers. Michonne looked down at his hand briefly but ignored the skin to skin contact.

"That wasn't a nightmare. That was a memory. That really happened. It wasn't a playground, it was a carnival. I fell from the ferris wheel and you ran to find me."

"What was wrong with those people?" Michonne asked, intrigued.

"Those weren't people, they were walkers. The dead that I told you about. You thought they'd eaten me. I was hiding but you couldn't see me. You thought I died."

Michonne's eyes flicked back and forth as she thought about how terrified she was. She had felt like her world was ending. She could still feel the fear she had of losing Rick. This stranger, this man who claimed to be her husband, she was dreaming about him and she'd just met him.

"I called out for you. Not… not Mike. I was so scared for _you_. I was devastated."

Rick watched as Michonne tried to come to terms with her feelings. She looked so confused, but he was relieved that her subconscious still held some of her memories. The Michonne he'd loved for six years was still in there somewhere, fighting to come back.

"This is real isn't it?" Michonne asked, staring into Rick's eyes to gather the truth. "We're really married? My family is really dead? This world… this world is real?"

Rick didn't want to push her too far with the physical affection, but he squeezed her hand gently. "This is real Michonne. Everything that I've told you is true. You're my wife, we live in Alexandria, and we've made a life for ourselves out of this madness. Our children love you. Everyone in this town loves you. _I_ love you," Rick said, emphasizing his point. "I will stop at nothing until you understand that."

Michonne bit her lip, a habit he'd never noticed her having before her injury.

"I don't want to hurt you" Michonne said, removing her hand from Rick's, "but I need time to figure this out."

Rick nodded and smiled at her. "I understand. I'm not rushing you. Take as much time as you need to heal, to get better. I just want you to know you're not alone here. You're never alone, and we all understand that so much has changed for you."

Michonne nodded her head and looked down at her fingers again.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" Rick asked with a yawn. It had to be around 2 a.m.

"Yea, I'll try" Michonne said.

"Do you want me to stay here?" Rick offered.

Michonne's eyes met his. She could see the concern etched in them. Looking at him like this, Michonne had no doubt that this man loved her. It was overwhelming because he was all but a stranger to her, but it was oddly comforting as well.

In her head, she was still in love with Mike, the father of her son. To everyone around her he'd been dead for more than six years, but to her, she'd just found out about his death yesterday. And she was still grieving Andre. She didn't need any more complications.

"No, that's okay" she said.

Rick nodded. "Okay then. Get some more rest Michonne. Love y…" he paused, "good night" he corrected.

"Good night" Michonne said softly, her cheeks turning red. She watched Rick leave the room and gently close the door in behind him.

Michonne sighed and snuggled into a comfortable position in her bed. This had been the most bizarre few days of her life. It was like she went to sleep with a boyfriend and a son who loved her, her dream job, and a normal world, and woke up with a white husband and two kids she didn't know, a head injury, and an insane world. She knew she had a lot to wrap her head around, and she hadn't even left this bedroom yet. She was afraid to know what lay beyond her door.

 *****can08writer*****

The next morning, Rosita checked Michonne's brain function and coordination with some neurological tests she'd read about in a book. She had her touch her own nose and then Rosita's finger, walk in a straight line, follow Rosita's finger with her eyes, and push and pull objects. Michonne passed each test.

"So it seems like the most pressing damage is to your memory" Rosita concluded. "Look, I'm not a neurologist and I know very little about all of this. I would say you should stay in bed for longer, especially with the dizziness and nausea. You could fall, you could pass out…"

"I get more dizzy when I'm laying down. It might be good to walk, just a little. It might help my memory to see the town, maybe there are some things that I'll remember" Michonne countered.

"You should be in the bed" Rick warned. "Michonne, you're not healed yet."

"I need to see for myself" Michonne said. "I need to do this to know for sure that what I remember is the past."

Carl, who was listening to the conversation quietly, spoke up. "We'll walk her home. It's just a few blocks. If she gets dizzy we can just let her sit until it passes."

Michonne looked at Carl and he gave her a nod.

"I don't like this" Rosita said, "but if that's what you want to do, fine. What do I know, not like I have a medical degree or something."

Rick chuckled and placed his hand on Rosita's shoulders. "Thank you for taking care of her" he said, "you did the best anyone could've done in the situation. Even without medical training."

"You're not a nurse?" Michonne asked.

Rosita snorted. "I'll take that as a compliment. I know about medicine as much as anyone else who's watched a Grey's Anatomy marathon. Or read a few textbooks. But I'll come by your house tomorrow to give you a few more neurological tests."

"Thank you Rosita" Rick said. "Are you ready to go home?" he asked Michonne.

"I guess so" she said.

Rick held her arm and helped her off the infirmary bed. Once they walked out of the room, Carl took her other arm so the three of them had linked arms in a line.

"Am I a prisoner? Or an old lady?" Michonne joked.

"No, I just thought you might need the support" Carl said, dropping her arm.

"No, I was kidding" Michonne said. "Its okay, you can hold my arms."

Carl smiled and linked his arm back around hers.

For the first time in her recent memory, Michonne stepped outside of the infirmary building into the blinding sunshine. She squinted to shield her eyes from the sun, but after a few seconds she could make out buildings surrounding her.

She was in a suburban neighborhood, surrounded by a strange mix of houses. Some were large houses that probably had three or four bedrooms, other houses were newly constructed with much less skill that the large houses. They were smaller and unpainted and she wouldn't want to live in them. Other houses were in total disrepair as if they'd been burned to the ground and left to rot. But the two things that got Michonne's attention the most were the lack of cars and the smell of animals.

There wasn't a single car to be seen, but in front of most houses there were corrals and stables built for animals. Goats were free roaming around the neighborhood with bells and other noise making or colorful objects hanging around their necks. And the smell of animal manure hit Michonne all at once. She wrinkled her nose.

"What's with the horses? Where are the cars?" Michonne asked, "And what is that smell?"

Carl laughed at Michonne's reaction. "I guess we just get used to the smell. That is the smell of our transportation."

"We ran out of gas a few years ago" Rick explained. "Can't find it anywhere, so if you need to go somewhere, the horses are the best way to get around."

"So the animals just wander around the neighborhood?" Michonne asked.

"Well, the goats do. They come back home at night though. We've had to make a few laws about them after we had a rash of goat thefts last year. They need to be collared with some sort of identification. That's what you see on their necks."

The pair led Michonne off the infirmary's porch and down the street.

Michonne was amazed at this community. It was a weird mix of modern architecture and medieval ingenuity. A modern garage was turned into a greenhouse with a plastic roof where crops were growing inside. A huge medieval style windmill turned in the distance, but modern solar panels were placed all over the sides, the sun reflecting off of their shiny surfaces. And people were everywhere, tending the crops, tending the horses, working on the houses. The place was very busy.

Michonne quietly took it all in. She had lots of questions, but she didn't know which ones to ask first, so she decided to just observe.

A rough looking man with a leather vest, long greasy hair, a crossbow slung to his back, and lots of muscles in his arms approached them with a smile. Michonne couldn't help but think he looked like the type of man she'd be defending in her practice.

"Nice to see you up and walkin' around. We were all worried about you. Trigger can be a scaredy horse sometimes" the man said.

Michonne nodded her head politely, unsure of who this man was and what to say to him.

"Shit I forgot" he said, "you don't know who I am right? I'm Daryl."

"Michonne" she said and then rolled her eyes in frustration at herself, "but you obviously already knew that."

"Yea, that's okay" Daryl said. "I'm just glad you're feelin' better for everyone's sake. Rick was a mess without you."

Michonne turned to look at Rick and noticed his cheeks turned slightly red.

"Yea well, so were you" Rick retorted at Daryl.

"Are you in charge here?" Michonne asked Daryl. He seemed like a tough looking guy, not the type to follow someone else's orders.

Daryl snorted loudly and his shoulders shook with laughter.

"Am I in charge?" He repeated, "Nah, talk to your husband about that one. Will be a cold day in hell when _I'm_ responsible for all of this. Rick I'm headin' out with the group on that run to Oceanside. We should be back by next Thursday."

"Okay, make sure they don't give us too much of that cod jerky, everyone hates it. Well, except for Judith for some reason" Rick said.

"Yea alright, but I'll pick up a little bit for lil' ass kicker" Daryl said.

"Later Carl. Michonne" Daryl said with a head nod to them both, and then he walked off.

"He seems interesting" Michonne said. "Why does he call Judith little ass kicker?"

"Uh… that's what he named her before she had a real name" Carl explained.

"Oookay" Michonne said, sensing there was a story behind that statement. "So who _is_ in charge of all this?" Michonne asked Rick.

"We are" Rick said with a smile, "we both lead this town together."

Michonne's eyes widened. "We made all of this?" She asked.

"Well not just us, everyone worked together. We help each other here. But you and I make the final decisions about things. At least things concerning Alexandria."

Michonne was floored. How was she and her husband in charge of this amazing town? How did that happen?

More questions flowed through her head, but her healing brain was already getting overwhelmed. Carl was the first to notice that she was leaning on them more and more heavily.

"Need a rest?" he asked.

"Well that depends, where is our house?" Michonne asked.

Rick smiled when she said "our". She was starting to accept that they really were a family.

"It's right there" Carl said, pointing to a home at the end of the street. It was one of the older, well made houses, with gray boards and shutters on the outside, and bright yellow doors. It was well kept considering the house next door had been set on fire and destroyed.

"It's big" Michonne said, comparing it to the small yet trendy apartment she'd shared with Mike and Andre.

"It is" Rick confirmed, "I thought the same thing when I first saw it."

"Do you want to sit down for a little bit before we walk down there?" Carl asked.

"No" Michonne said, smiling at the thoughtful kid, "I can make it."

The three of them walked the remaining block to the home, and went inside. Michonne was amazed at the spaciousness of it.

The men gave her some space as she looked around the first floor of the house and noticed signs of a child living there. There were small white and pink sneakers left haphazardly underneath the end table, and a children's book was propped up in one of the armchairs. She turned towards the refrigerator and noticed three drawings were stuck there with magnets. She couldn't help but think about the fridge in her apartment with Andre's artwork proudly displayed. She wondered if that artwork was still there at this very moment.

As she approached, one of the pictures stood out. There was a drawing of four stick figures. One of them was labeled 'Daddy' and underneath it was a stick figure that was much bigger than the other four. The second was labeled 'Mommy' and underneath it a stick figure with black lines for hair which Michonne knew was supposed to be her locs, and what looked like a huge knife in her hand which she was very confused about. The third stick figure was labeled 'Carl' and it wore an unmistakable sheriff's hat making Michonne wonder if Carl ever took that hat off. And the fourth stick figure was labeled 'Judith'. She was wearing a pink triangle which represented a skirt, and she had yellow pigtails in her hair.

"Yea, we're raising quite the artist" Rick said with a chuckle as Michonne studied the picture.

"Why am I holding a knife?" Michonne asked.

Carl laughed. "She was trying to draw this" he said, going into the living room and pulling out a huge sword from behind the sofa.

Michonne moved closer to study the weapon he was holding.

"Wow, that's pretty. Do I usually collect art?" she asked.

"Art?" Carl asked, "This isn't… No, you _use_ this" he said, pulling the sword from its scabbard.

Michonne's mouth opened at the beauty of the shiny sword in front of her. It was razor sharp and had engravings on the hilt and on the sword itself. It looked dangerous and beautiful at the same time.

"I use this? For what?" she asked.

"You use it on walkers" Rick explained. "You're amazing with it."

"I kill dead people with a samurai sword?" Michonne asked, tilting her head in disbelief, " _me_?"

"Yea. You even taught me a little for physical therapy with my eye, but no one can use it like you can" Carl said.

"I… I don't know how to use that thing. How did I _learn_ how to use that thing? I can't remember ever touching something like that."

"It's okay, it'll come back to you" Rick said, leading Michonne to the couch in the living room when he saw she was starting to get distressed. "And if it doesn't, I'm sure Carl can try to teach you some of the stuff you taught him, if you _want_ to learn again."

The couch in the living room was soft and comfortable, and Michonne couldn't help but relax a little when she sat down on it.

"So where is Judith now?" Michonne asked.

"Well right now she's at school" Rick said, "but she's been staying with Tara after that. We told her you got hurt while we were trying to redirect the herd, but we didn't tell her all the details of your injury, and I thought it would be best if you hold off on meeting her right now. She's a handful and she wouldn't understand what's happening with you."

"Oh" Michonne said, looking at her fingers.

"Unless you want to see her?" Rick asked.

"I… um… I think we should wait" Michonne said. Just seeing the pictures on the refrigerator was bringing her mind back to Andre. How could she have moved on from his death? How could she have accepted this family so readily? She wondered where Andre and Mike had been buried. Where was their funeral? Could she go visit them?

All of the stimuli of the new house, the new information, and her grief was taking its toll on her, and she needed to rest.

"Here, put your feet up" Rick said when he saw her lean her head on the back of the couch. She did as he said, and he placed a pillow behind her head to make her more comfortable.

Carl opened a closet and came back with a blanket that he placed over Michonne.

"Go ahead and get some rest, I know that walk took a lot out of you" Rick said.

"Okay" Michonne said, her eyes closing already. She was more drained than she'd realized.

"I'll be right here" she could hear Rick's deep voice rumbling. It was the last thing she heard before she drifted off to sleep.

 ** _Author's Note : Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the reviews so far. Please keep them coming. To be honest that is what motivates me to keep cranking out these chapters. You folks are truly the best._**


	4. Chapter 4

When Michonne woke up she was still propped up on the sofa in her new home, with her feet resting on the table in front of her, and the blanket Carl had given her keeping her warm. The only change was her socks and shoes had been removed while she slept, and the sunlight outside had lost its intensity. It was approximately late afternoon. She hadn't meant to sleep that long.

Her head was throbbing slightly, directly on the area where she had the bump and bruise.

She could smell something cooking in the kitchen behind her. She couldn't identify the smell, but it made her stomach churn, and not in a good way.

She could hear people talking in hushed whispers behind her.

"She's gotta get her memory back sometime, right?" Carl was saying.

"I don't know Carl. I'm hoping for the best, but I don't know."

"But what if she doesn't? What if she never gets it back and this is permanent? Are we gonna teach her how to use her katana, and how to shoot, and how to deal with walkers all over again? What if she never remembers all the stuff that happened with the Governor, and on the road, and with Negan. What if she never gets over Andre?"

"Carl, what do you want me to say?" Rick asked, "if she doesn't remember all that stuff then we just have to explain things to her. It won't be easy, not for anybody, but what else can we do?"

There was a pause in the conversation, and Michonne leaned in closer so she could hear better.

"What if she doesn't want to be with our family anymore? We're strangers to her. She's being polite but she doesn't know us. What if she just wants to live by herself? Or she wants to leave?" Carl asked, and the concern and hurt in his voice made her heart drop. He was really scared of losing her.

"I… I don't know Carl. I just don't know," Rick replied. "She's not a prisoner, but, she may not be the same Michonne we remember either."

Michonne blinked rapidly as she listened to the conversation. She hadn't really thought about staying with this family or leaving. She hadn't had time to think any of that through. She was still reeling from everything going on around her, and still healing from a brain that was somewhat untrustworthy, but Carl was right. These people were all strangers to her. Kind strangers so far, but still she couldn't let her guard down. Regardless of what she decided, she knew she didn't want to hurt them. Especially not Carl and Judith. And leaving would do just that.

Michonne lifted herself from the couch and padded into the kitchen barefoot.

"Hey, you're up!" Rick greeted her.

"Yea" Michonne said, nodding at both of them and giving them a small smile.

"We thought you might be hungry when you woke up, so we made your favorite, deer tacos" Carl said.

"Deer tacos?" Michonne repeated, just to make sure she really heard what he said.

"Yea. That's your favorite," Carl said, looking at Michonne curiously.

"Wow" Michonne said, shaking her head. "That's funny, because I'm a vegetarian."

"What?" Rick asked.

"At least I _was_. I guess that's changed.

"We didn't know, you never said anything" Rick said.

"I guess the end of the world makes you less picky about food" Michonne said with a shrug.

"Boy, you don't wanna know what we ate on the road then" Carl said with a laugh, and both Rick and Michonne turned to stare at him.

"Forget it" Carl said, turning back to the cooking meat.

"Um… it's okay. Thanks for making my favorite food, it's just going to take some time for me to get used to eating meat again. The smell of that is actually making me feel a little sick. Can you show me where the bathroom is? And also, can I take a shower?"

"Yea, yea of course" Rick said. He led Michonne towards the stairs and directed her to their bedroom.

When she entered she was surprised by the immediate evidence of a woman's touch. Candles that had been well used, made evident by their melted wax, were displayed on top of the dresser. Cut outs and a child's art projects were stuck to the wall in various places. The sheets matched, and the bed was freshly made, and the unmistakable smell of cocoa butter wafted through the air.

"Everything you need is in the bathroom" Rick said, "your towel, your robe and slippers, your cocoa butter. And your loc pomade is under the sink."

Michonne smiled. This man obviously knew her well, and was well aware of her hygiene routine.

"If you want I can help you twist your locs when you're done" Rick offered.

Now Michonne outright laughed. "You know how to twist locs?" She asked.

"Yea, you taught me. You said I was your best student yet."

Michonne couldn't help but warm up to this man. He was very sweet and caring, and surprisingly sensitive to her needs. She didn't know if he was just being nice and his true colors would come out later, or if this was genuinely him, but she wanted to stick around and find out.

"Thank you Rick, but I can do it. It's really sweet of you to offer though."

Rick nodded his head and backed towards the bedroom door, almost as if he was waiting for her to reconsider. When she didn't, he turned around and headed back downstairs.

' _Mike never offered to help me do my hair'_ Michonne thought, but guilt immediately shut that train of thought down. She wouldn't think ill of the dead.

She entered the bathroom and closed the door behind her. The bathroom was spacious, definitely a master bath, with a separate tub and shower. She'd love to lounge around in that tub for hours. She wondered if that was what she did, before. She wondered about the person she was. The Michonne who ate meat and killed things with a sword, and ran the whole community with her husband and kids. It sounded so unlike the Michonne she was now. That Michonne sounded so confident, so sure of herself. What if she was a disappointment to these people?

Michonne walked over to the full length mirror on the bathroom wall and was shocked by what she saw. It was the first time she'd seen herself since she woke up, and the changes to her face and body was unmistakable.

Her face looked older. Not like an old woman with wrinkles, but she looked like she'd aged a little bit. She hadn't even noticed, but her hair had grown significantly. It was now down to her lower-back. She had never allowed it to grow so long. And her arms, she could see muscle definition that she'd never had before. She had always been fit, running and going to the gym regularly, but the muscles she now had in her arms were not made from regular gym workouts. She could tell she'd been doing hard labor. Maybe swinging that samurai sword that Carl was talking about. It had toned her muscles and made them stand out.

Eager to see what other changes there were, Michonne stripped off her clothes until she was in her underwear, and noticed various scars on her body that she'd never had before. One made her stop in her tracks. She had a gunshot wound on her thigh.

She could see where the bullet penetrated her thigh muscle, slid for a few inches and exited.

She gently caressed the wound that was now completely healed and painless. A chill went down her spine. Who had shot her? Why? It was agony not knowing what her body had been through the past six years. What else about herself didn't she know?

Michonne continued to check her body for additional wounds, but besides a few healed wounds on her face and some scratches, she couldn't find any further major injuries, besides the bump on her head of course.

Hoping the shower would calm her racing thoughts, Michonne started the water and hopped in. She noted the water was room temperature, but seeing as though people literally got around on horseback in this town she was surprised there was running water at all.

She luxuriated in the shower, relaxing slightly as the water ran down her body. She didn't know if there was a time limit for showers, but Rick hadn't told her anything, so she was going to take as much time as she needed.

She closed her eyes, and before she knew it, tears were running down her face. Andre, she couldn't believe she'd never see her baby boy again. She didn't even get to say goodbye to him. How did she not protect him? How did Mike not protect him? _Why_ didn't he?

The sound of the door opening made Michonne's eyes snap open in panic. She could see movement through the frosted shower door. She slid it open just a crack and Rick was standing in the bathroom with her.

"Ahhhhh!" Michonne screamed, pressing her hands against her breasts to cover herself, "get out! Get out of here!"

Rick seemed startled by her screaming and dropped a robe and slippers on the floor.

"S-sorry!" Rick yelled, scampering out of the bathroom and closing the door behind himself.

Michonne held her hand to her thundering heart, and turned off the water in the shower.

"I'm so sorry" Rick called through the door. "I knocked and you didn't answer, and I thought I put your robe and slippers in there but I didn't, so I thought I'd just drop it on the counter."

Michonne said nothing as she slipped out of the shower and dried herself off with a towel.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I didn't think you'd even see me," Rick continued.

Michonne ignored him as she slipped into the comfortable robe that he'd brought, and slipped her feet into the slippers. They were extremely soft, and she fell in love with the sleepwear set immediately.

When she was ready, she spoke to Rick who was still standing on the other side of the door.

"You've seen me naked before, I get it" Michonne said.

"Yes but you don't remember that. I should've been more thoughtful. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that."

"I know Rick" Michonne said with a sigh. "I'm not mad, I'm not."

Michonne slowly opened the bathroom door and was face to face with Rick.

"Look it just caught me off guard, okay?" She asked.

He nodded. "Okay".

"So I have a question" Michonne said, looking up at Rick.

"Yea?" Rick asked.

"Who shot me?"

 *****can08writer*****

Rick, Michonne, and Carl sat down at the dinner table. Rick and Carl were eating the deer tacos as Michonne munched on lettuce and tomatoes, trying to ignore the smell of meat, as the father and son told Michonne about her early life with them.

The story of how she first met them amazed Michonne. She had arrived at the prison injured, exhausted, and still grieving Andre. He'd told her she barely spoke and isolated herself from everyone else, and Michonne understood why. It was what she wanted to do right now, curl up into a ball, speak to no one, and cry. But she figured she couldn't do that then, so keeping it all inside was the next best option.

Rick told her that he was awed by her strength, and the way she destroyed walkers. He was surprised how she'd survived on her own for so long, and long before he could understand what his feelings for her were, he knew that she was the answer to some of the questions he was asking himself after his former wife's death.

Carl explained how Judith's mother died, and that they had to leave the prison because of the Governor. Rick explained that Merle, Daryl's brother, had shot Michonne.

Michonne narrowed her eyes when she found that out.

"Why didn't you lock Merle up? Was he ever prosecuted or punished for what he did?" Michonne asked angrily. To think she spent her life trying to get lawless people off the streets, but a criminal had shot her and nothing happened to him made her furious.

"Back then there wasn't a way to really punish people besides death" Rick said. "We didn't have prisons, we only had our guns. By the time Merle ended up back at the prison, we pretty much needed him. We were at war with the Governor and Merle was on our side. You had forgiven him and moved on."

Michonne sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. "If you say so" she said.

The men continued to explain to her how they were on the road for weeks until she helped convince Rick that they needed to go to Washington. Michonne was shocked to learn that they were no longer in Georgia and that they'd walked to Virginia in the middle of the apocalypse with an infant. She realized she'd probably never be able to visit Andre and Mike's graves.

They told her about how Alexandria was a town before they got here, but the Alexandrians were very naive about the outside world. Carl then explained how he got shot in the face.

"Oh my God" Michonne gasped, "you were shot in the head? How did you… how did you survive that?"

"There was a doctor, Denise. She saved Carl's life. Brought him back from death, and I'll always be grateful to her for that. But she was killed a few months later by another group, the Saviors," Rick replied.

She listened enraptured when they explained how they got involved in a war against Negan, and how they'd won at a massive cost.

"What happened to that guy? Negan?" Michonne asked.

Carl and Rick briefly looked at each other.

"He's locked up. In a jail cell. He has a life sentence" Rick said.

"Oh" Michonne said, "but he's still alive?"

"More or less" Rick replied.

"Even after what that guy did, everyone who was killed, you still spared his life?"

"I wanted to make a statement. That even someone like him, a murderer, a man who tortured and mistreated others, could receive mercy. He'll spend the rest of his life paying for the evil he's done. I'll make sure of it" Rick said.

"What happened to the rest of the Saviors?" Michonne asked.

"The ones who cooperated, the ones who surrendered and wanted to work with the rest of us, they're part of our network of communities. They work with us, trade with us, we protect each other."

"And the others? The ones who wouldn't cooperate?" Michonne asked.

"They're dead" Rick said bluntly.

Michonne bit her lip again, and Rick decided that this little nervous habit of hers was growing on him.

He continued to explain how they'd lost many lives and their entire town at one point during the war with the Saviors, but they rose from the ashes and they were still repairing the damage that had been done.

After Rick and Carl explained what had happened in her life up until now, Michonne took a minute to think and process.

The information, and stories, and horror, and hardship was so much for Michonne to digest. All of the trauma that she'd been through was too much to even comprehend. And for Carl to have gone through that as a teenager was unfathomable. For him to have lost his eye, and been threatened with death so many times before, and to still have a positive outlook and turn out to be such a sweet boy only told of how much of an amazing person Carl was, and how much of a great dad Rick was.

Deep down in her heart, Michonne could see how she'd come to love Rick. Even though she still felt love for Mike, she didn't think Mike would be able to survive all of the things she'd been through. He had been a good man, and he loved Andre, but he was a man of the past. He was spoiled and used to things being comfortable. So was she, to a degree, but obviously the circumstances she'd been in had caused her to change. She didn't think Mike had the personality to change so easily.

He was high maintenance, and she knew that living in a tent at a refugee camp had to have killed him inside. He was used to taking she and Andre on vacations to exotic destinations, getting massages and manicures and pedicures, taking Michonne to parties at upscale clubs and restaurants, and living a life fit for two lawyers of considerable means. Losing all of that must've killed Mike's confidence, his sense of being a man. Mike was a provider, but he wasn't a fighter.

When Rick first told Michonne that she had gone out on a run while Mike and Andre stayed at the camp, at first she didn't believe it. She didn't believe that Mike would let her go out into danger while he stayed back. But hearing what Rick's family had gone through, she knew that Mike wouldn't've been able to handle himself out there. She knew deep in her heart that Mike was weak. And out of the two of them, she was strong. She still didn't know what exactly happened in the final moments of Mike and Andre's lives, but she knew that she must've blamed herself for what happened. And obviously Mike and Terry as well if she'd mutilated them.

"All of this seems like a movie" Michonne said. "How do people live through this? How did we survive this?"

Carl and Michonne both looked at Rick for an answer to the question.

"I'm gonna tell you what you told me, when I was at one of my lowest points" Rick said, staring into Michonne's eyes from across the table. "We're still alive, Michonne. So much has happened, so much that we shouldn't have lived through, but we did. We're still here. We're the ones who live."

"I said that?" Michonne asked, looking into Rick's eyes.

"Well, I paraphrased" Rick said with a shrug, "but yes, you said that. You've been there for us, me, Carl, and Judith, through so many events that should've killed us, and I will never give up on you. I will never stop loving and taking care of you. Even if you don't remember who I am."

Michonne's eyes widened and she bit her lip and quickly looked down at the table. This man's words shook her to her core. She couldn't understand everything that she felt, but some of it was a mix of guilt, fascination, confusion, and awe. This man loved her. She knew it in her soul. She didn't know if it was a memory, intuition, or both, but she knew she could trust him unconditionally. He wouldn't hurt her.

Michonne looked up from the table and slowly reached her hand towards Rick, and placed it on top of his. She squeezed gently while Carl looked on with a smile.

"Thank you," she said.


	5. Chapter 5

"So your reflexes and cognition still seem to be fine which is a good thing. How are you feeling?," Rosita asked the next day when she came to check on Michonne.

Michonne was sitting on the edge of the bed, and Rosita was bent over her in the guest bedroom, shining a light into her ears, while Rick and Carl were in the living room. Rosita had given Michonne a full physical exam, and seeing as though she still barely knew Rick, Michonne had preferred privacy.

"I um… I have a headache sometimes, it comes and go. And I feel nauseous at times during the day, but that comes and goes too. When I walked over here yesterday it tired me out and I slept for a few hours," Michonne explained, ticking off all the ailments she'd felt.

Rosita nodded as she shined a light into Michonne's eyes, looking for any abnormalities. "All of those are normal symptoms of a head injury" she said.

"Am I looking okay?" Michonne asked.

"Hell if I know" Rosita said with a laugh, "I mean, I guess so. You seem a lot better than you did before. How's your memory? Is anything coming back to you?" She asked, finally standing up again.

"No, not really" Michonne said. "I mean, I told Rick about a dream I had and he said that it was a memory. But nothing more has come back to me yet."

"Give it time" Rosita said. "People don't just recover from these things overnight. And I think you should explore the town a little more if you're up for it. You never know what little things may trigger a memory."

Michonne nodded and bit her lip. "Rosita?"

"Yea?" she asked.

"Um… are we… friends?"

Rosita smiled and sat next to Michonne on the bed. "I'd say so. I mean, we're not besties, but I definitely would consider you a friend."

"Do I _have_ a bestie?" Michonne asked. She wanted to talk to someone who knew her well. She wanted someone to answer all the questions she had about her life with Rick and how she really felt about him, and Carl, and Judith, and everything else. She wanted someone who knew her deepest secrets so she could get an idea about who she really was now.

"Yea" Rosita said with a chuckle, "you're married to him. You and Rick have been besties long before I met you. I could see it from the first time I saw you all in the train car at…"

"Terminal?" Michonne asked.

"Terminus" Rosita corrected, squinting her eyes and pointing her finger, "did you... just remember that?"

"No. Rick and Carl gave me a recap of some of the things that happened. It was a little overwhelming and I don't know if I remember everything they said, but it seems so insane."

"Yea, your life has been a little insane. I don't even know everything about you, but Rick and Carl can fill you in way better than I can."

Michonne nodded. So, she'd have to talk to Rick about her relationship with him.

"If you have a question and you don't really want to ask Rick, you can ask me y'know. Even though we weren't besties before doesn't mean we can't be now."

"Thanks Rosita" Michonne said, truly grateful to have someone else to talk to.

"If you're wondering, he really does love you. That's one thing I always was a little jealous about between the two of you. There was never a question about that."

"I think I know that," Michonne said. "I think I remember that."

Rosita nodded and stood up. "Well, you know where I live. Or… maybe you don't? I live right above the infirmary if you want to talk. You can stop by any time, I mean that."

Michonne smiled at her. "Thank you."

Michonne walked Rosita to the front door and she left.

"So what did she say?" Rick asked from the couch.

"She said I seem fine, everything is normal. Well, she thinks it is."

"That's good, right?" Carl asked. "I mean, maybe you'll get your memory back soon."

"Maybe" Michonne said softly.

"So, what would you like to do today?" Rick asked. "It's perfectly fine if you want to stay home, but if you want to go for another walk we can."

"I… don't know. Do you have to go to work?" Michonne asked Rick. She then turned to Carl. "Do you go to school?"

"I'm done with school" Carl said, "I mean, it's really only for the younger kids, and it's not like we have a college, I mean… not yet. I help out where I'm needed. We always need help in the fields, or herd rerouting, or patrols… stuff like that."

Michonne nodded but she truly felt for this young man. He seemed bright, and in the world she remembered, at his age he'd probably be at college. But now his future inevitably was more simple than that. He'd be a farmer, or a builder, or tend animals, but his future was severely limited by the fall of civilization.

"And you, Rick?" Michonne asked.

"Well you and I do what needs to be done too if we don't have a meeting with the other communities. But I'm taking some time off. You're my priority right now. I will stay with you for as long it's needed, until you're feeling better. So what would you like to do?"

"I uh… I want to see the town a little more" Michonne stated, "And I think I'd like to meet Judith."

 *****can08writer*****

Michonne stepped off the front porch of Rick's home. She figured she should call it her home too, but it was so unusual seeing as she'd stepped foot in it for the first time the day before.

Rick was almost hovering next to her, prepared to grab her arm if she felt weak or dizzy.

"It's okay Rick" Michonne assured him, "I can walk."

"I know" he said, continuing to stay a few inches away from her, "I'm here just in case."

It was late morning so there were plenty of people around, going about their business. She still couldn't get over the fact that there were no cars outside, no planes in the sky, no artificial sounds. It was beautifully peaceful but also unnerving, and still pretty smelly. The manure smell permeated the community, but it seemed she was the only one who noticed.

As she walked down the street next to Rick, she noticed that almost everyone she saw had a weapon of some kind. Guns, knives, and even medieval weapons like spears, bows, and clubs. Rick was armed too, and even some of the teens had weapons. It was shocking.

"Why is everyone armed?" Michonne asked.

"Just in case" Rick said, "we've had some incidences when people or walkers have gotten through the gates. We used to store all our weapons in an armory, but I've learned your gun stored in an armory isn't going to save you when you need it."

"Walkers got over _those_ gates?" Michonne asked, pointing to the 20 foot high steel walls. If the walkers they were so scared of could climb walls, she'd never leave these gates again.

"Not over them, through them. We were attacked and our lookout tower fell and brought down a panel. A whole herd made it through the hole."

Michonne's eyes widened and she blinked a few times. She had to see what it was that they were trying so hard to keep out. She had to know what it was that she and everyone else who was alive was carrying inside of them. She vaguely remembered the dream she'd had with the people who didn't look right. She didn't remember what about them wasn't right, all she remembered from that dream was the fear she had for Rick. She had to see what had made her so afraid.

"I… I want to see one" Michonne said.

"A herd?" Rick asked.

"A walker" Michonne clarified. "I want to see what they look like."

Rick studied her closely. She wasn't looking at him, she was observing the ground as she walked, and seemed nervous.

"You sure about that?" He asked. "You don't have to."

"I do," she said. "I need to know everything I used to know. I want to see what my life is really like."

Rick nodded. "Okay, there may be some dead ones at the gate from the night watch. We clean the stragglers up at the end of each shift, but shift change hasn't happened yet."

Michonne followed Rick as he led her through the town to the front gate. People she didn't recognize nodded at her and Rick, or shouted a greeting as they walked past.

"Do I carry a weapon too?" Michonne asked as they walked, "I mean, besides the sword."

"You usually have a gun on you, but I've only seen you use it a handful of times."

"Am I good at it?" She asked.

"Well… let's just say the katana suits you better," Rick said with a nod.

Michonne laughed because she knew Rick was telling the truth.

"Mike took me to the gun range twice. After the second time he said he feared for his life and he'd never take me again. Not only did I miss the target, i got a few rounds in the ceiling too."

Rick chuckled hysterically. "You once told me you aimed for a walker, and hit a deer feet away in the woods. But at least you got to take the deer home for dinner." His face suddenly got more serious. "But then Negan took it away."

Michonne looked over at him and noticed his brow was furrowed.

"Well he's locked up now anyway, so it doesn't matter anymore. Right?" She asked.

"Yea" he replied, nodding his head. They had arrived at the gate. Rick gestured to a ladder that led to wooden scaffolding that was built against the steel wall.

"C'mon, you can see from up there" he said.

Michonne carefully pulled herself up the ladder with Rick right behind her, continuing his hovering. She had to admit she liked that he was so protective of her. It made her feel valuable, like she was something precious.

She got to the ledge at the top of the ladder and moved over to allow Rick to climb up beside her. She peered over the ledge to get a glimpse at the area beyond Alexandria's gates.

There was a large open area that stretched about 200 feet around the perimeter of the gates, creating an open field. There was a road through the open area, as well as long abandoned houses that were dilapidated. The houses seemed to have been purposely knocked down and destroyed, maybe to make clear sightlines from the gates. A wild looking forest of trees stretched just beyond the cleared out area, but what caught Michonne's eyes immediately were the bodies that lay in the open area.

There were five, sprawled out in random places around the gates. Michonne felt a pang in her heart. From what she remembered, she'd never seen a dead body before, especially not one left out in the open. Her stomach rolled at the thought that these were people that were once alive.

"Are those walkers?" she asked, swallowing to control the vomit she felt rising in her esophagus.

"Yes" Rick confirmed.

"I can't see them well" Michonne said. She had to see more.

"Aaron!" Rick called a man who was standing further down on the platform. The dark haired man looked friendly, and he walked over with a smile on his face.

"Hey Michonne, how are you feeling?" he asked, "good to see you out and about."

"Hi, I'm doing well" Michonne said with a nod of her head and a small smile.

"I just want you to know, if you ever need anything I'm here. You've saved my life on more than one occasion. I owe you", the man said.

"Thanks, that's very kind" Michonne replied politely.

"Aaron, we need to borrow your binoculars" Rick said.

Aaron took the binoculars from around his neck and passed them to Michonne. She turned and aimed her view at the rotting bodies below.

The walker she focused on was bloated. Gasses had been building up inside of it for a long time, and it's legs and arms looked like they were too full of gas to even be bendable. She moved the binoculars down to the walker's hands which were black on the fingers from it's late stage of decomposition. It's ears, nose and eyeballs had been rotted out and looked like they had just fallen off of its face. Its semi translucent skin was a dark shade of gray, with black rotten blood smeared on the tatters of fabric that was once a shirt. It was so decomposed Michonne couldn't even tell if it was male or female.

She couldn't believe something like that could've been walking around. How did it move? How did it know where it was going? How could something dead walk like it was alive?

Michonne slowly lowered the binoculars from her eyes, still digesting what she'd just seen.

"Did you see it?" Rick asked, but he was immediately concerned when Michonne's face turned ashen.

"Michonne?" Aaron asked.

Michonne suddenly bent over with her hands on her knees and threw up her breakfast on to the lookout platform. Rick quickly reached for her hair, holding it back as she retched again. When she was done, she stood up, feeling a little shaky.

"I'm sorry" she apologized. "I'll come back, I'll clean it up."

"No you won't" Rick said, rubbing her back. "Are you feeling better?"

"I don't… I've never seen anything like that. Not that I remember. It was so disgusting."

"They take a while to get used to" Aaron said sympathetically, glancing down at the puddle of vomit at Michonne's feet.

"I'm so sorry" Michonne said again, completely embarrassed.

"Don't worry about it" Rick said to her. He turned to Aaron. "I'm gonna take her home and then I'll be back to clean that up" he said, handing Aaron back his binoculars.

Aaron looked slightly relieved that Rick said he'd clean it.

"It's okay" Aaron said to Michonne, "I'll admit that was my reaction too the first time I saw a particularly rotten one. The first time is always the worst, remember that."

Michonne nodded, and started down the ladder, Rick right behind her.

 *****can08writer*****

Rick walked Michonne back to the house so she could get some rest. She stayed there while he headed back to the gates to clean up Michonne's vomit. He had to admit he was surprised at how disgusted she was. He was so used to the walker's fluids and bloatedness and smell that he'd completely forgotten how disgusting they had been to him in the beginning. His mind went back to plastering walker guts all over himself with Glenn for the first time. He had almost thrown up then too. He was used to Michonne being such a hardened warrior, he thought she'd always been that way.

After cleaning the platform, he headed to the church where school was just letting out. He entered the building, maneuvering past parents and children until he spotted his daughter's shining yellow hair bouncing in the crowd. She turned around and spotted him.

"Hi sweetheart" Rick said, opening his arms wide as Judith ran to him.

"Daddy!" Judith yelled, running at him full speed so he could lift her into his arms.

"How was school, sweetheart?" he asked, planting a kiss on her cheek.

"Daddy your beard feels scratchy" Judith said, wiping her face. "Mommy is going to tell you to shave."

"Is she?" Rick asked with a chuckle.

"Yup. She's gonna say your face is losing the war again."

"Well it's funny you mention that. Guess who's at home?"

"Mommy?" Judith asked, her eyes widening.

"Yup, Mommy. She was feeling a little better so we took her home from the infirmary."

"Yay!" Judith said. "Does she still have a boo boo?"

"Yes, and she isn't feeling herself, so you have to be careful with her," Rick warned.

"Okay" Judith said, taking a moment to think. "We'll just play _some_ of our games."

Rick knew he had to give Judith some sort of warning that Michonne was a little different than she remembered. He put Judith down and knelt in front of her so that they were eye to eye.

"Sweetheart, Mommy bumped her head and it made her forget some things. It's hard for her to remember everything that she used to know. So we have to be careful with her, and kind to her, so she can get better. And if she forgets something, you have to help her to remember."

Judith narrowed her brown eyes at Rick. She was confused about what Rick was saying, but she could tell it was serious by his tone of voice.

"But Mommy can still play with me, right?" Judith asked, tilting her head.

"Yes, she can still play…"

"Okay, let's go see her! C'mon Daddy!" Judith said, tugging on Rick's hand. Rick smiled and shook his head as Judith dragged him down the street in her rush to see her mother.

When they got back to the house, Judith burst through the front door, startling Michonne who was sitting at the dining room table.

"Mommy!" Judith yelled, running at Michonne so fast, the only glimpse she got of the girl was a flash of blond hair before she launched herself into Michonne's arms.

"Mommy I missed you! I had to stay at Aunt Tara's and I had fun but I wanted to come home with you and Daddy and Carl," Judith explained.

"Did you?" Michonne asked, moving her head backwards so she could get a good look at the girl.

"Yes Mommy," Judith said, looking up at Michonne. "Daddy said you bumped your head, is it bleeding?" she asked.

Michonne finally got to look at the girl. Her blond hair was long and curly, and it reached down her back, and she had deep brown eyes. She looked very much like Carl, Michonne could see the resemblance. She was was missing her two front teeth and Michonne thought she was adorable.

She smiled down at the girl who was holding tightly to her waist. "No, my head isn't bleeding," she said.

"Daddy said you bumped your head and it made you forget stuff" Judith declared.

Michonne looked up at Rick and he shrugged with a look that said ' _I had to tell her something'_.

"Yes, I did forget some things" Michonne said, "so I might need you to help me remember."

"Okay, but Daddy said you could still play with me so can we go upstairs and fingerpaint?" Judith asked, Michonne's response not phasing her at all.

"Hold on Judith" Rick said, stepping in. "You know the routine. You need to go wash your hands, have a snack, do your homework and then you can play."

Judith sighed and looked at Michonne. "Mommy do I have to?" she asked.

Michonne looked from Judith to Rick. Was she the lenient parent? She hadn't been that way with Andre. Mike was the one who usually snuck him things he wasn't supposed to have, and let him break the rules when she wasn't home.

"Go do what Daddy said" Michonne cajoled.

Judith sighed again.

"When you're done with your homework we can play" Michonne promised.

Judith smiled. "Okay Mommy, I'll be right back" she said excitedly, and she raced upstairs to the bathroom.

When she was out of earshot Rick said, "I told you she was a handful."

Michonne laughed. "She's just like Andre. The only time he was still was when he was sleeping."

As soon as the words left her mouth, an image of Andre lying motionless on the ground flashed through her mind. It was so vivid and unexpected Michonne had no doubt that it was a memory.

The picture in her head had only flashed for a moment, but she remembered every detail. The blood smeared all over his neck and shirt. The chunks taken from his shoulder, and his little hands balled into fists. But despite the way his body had been mercilessly attacked, his face looked so peaceful, as if he were sleeping.

Michonne gasped and clasped her hand over her mouth. Of all the things to remember, she remembered the way her murdered son looked.

"What is it?" Rick asked, startled by her sudden change in demeanor, but Michonne had begun to hyperventilate and couldn't speak.

Rick immediately wrapped his arms around Michonne and she melted into him, burying her face into his chest as she breathed rapidly. The tears pouring from her eyes began to soak through his shirt, but still he held her tightly and rocked her side to side in an effort comfort her.

"It's alright" he whispered, "It's alright."

"He was bitten in the neck, and the shoulder," Michonne recalled through her tears. "He looked like he was sleeping. I wanted to believe that. I was so stupid. I thought maybe he was still alive."

Rick rubbed Michonne's back. She had never told him this part. The details of how she found Andre. Maybe it had been too painful for her to recall, but whatever memory she accessed in her mind was bringing it all back.

"He was all by himself on the ground. There were trampled bodies everywhere and blood. I remember wanting to die with him," Michonne admitted, holding Rick tighter. "Everything I felt turned into anger. Rage. I just remember being so angry."

Rick didn't know what to say. He was so glad she remembered something, but this memory was probably her most painful.

"Do you remember anything else?" He asked.

Michonne shook her head and sniffled. "No. I just remember what he looked like and how I felt."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," Rick said softly.

Michonne let out another sob.

Little footsteps on the stairs announced Judith's return. Michonne pulled away from Rick and attempted to wipe her eyes but there was no way she could hide the fact that she'd been crying.

Judith paused at the entrance to the kitchen.

"Mommy what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Judith asked, "does your head hurt?"

Michonne sniffled and wiped her eyes. "No sweetheart, I'm okay," she answered.

"No you're not. You're sad," Judith declared.

Michonne realized this girl was not one to be easily dismissed.

"Yes I'm sad. But it has nothing to do with you" Michonne assured her. "C'mon, I'll make you a snack. What do you like to eat?"

"Apples!" Judith said excitedly.

Michonne turned to Rick. "Um… do we have apples?" She asked, still feeling like a guest in her own home. Before Rick could answer, Judith pointed at one of the cabinets.

"They're in there," she said.

When Michonne turned around to get the apple from the cabinet Judith loudly whispered to her father, "see Daddy? I helped her remember."

Michonne smiled and Rick patted Judith's head. "I see that sweetheart. Good job."

Michonne sat at the counter across from Judith as she bit into the apple. It was difficult for the girl to bite seeing as though she was missing her front teeth, so she was trying to bite with her side teeth.

"Don't do that" Michonne said, "hold on, I'll cut it into slices."

Michonne got a knife off the counter, and as she sliced the apple into pieces Rick leaned over and whispered something into Judith's ear. Judith smiled and nodded.

Michonne was curious about what they were whispering about, but she ignored it and arranged Judith's apple slices into a circle around the plate, something she always used to do for Andre.

"Do you have any…" Michonne began, but before she could finish her sentence Rick and Judith simultaneously shouted "peanut butter!"

Michonne was shocked.

"How did you…?"

"Whenever you cut apple slices for Judith you give her some peanut butter to dip it in, if we have any. At least that's something you didn't forget," Rick explained.

"Daddy said you were gonna ask for it" Judith told.

"I used to make this for Andre all the time" Michonne said with a sad smile.

"You make it for me all the time too Mommy" Judith said, biting into one of the slices.

Michonne looked at Rick and smiled. She was happy that some of the rituals she'd shared with Andre she was still sharing with Judith. It made her feel like Andre's legacy was living on in this young girl.

 *****can08writer*****

After Judith ate her snack, Michonne helped her complete the three addition problems she'd been assigned for homework. It was bizarre to Michonne that Judith completed her homework on a slate board with chalk, which she carried to school and was careful not to accidentally erase. It would take some time for Michonne to get used to the lack of technology that the town had to deal with.

At night, the limited electricity was used to keep things like refrigerators running, so everyone used oil lamps and candles as light. It was now fairly late and Rick had put Judith to bed. Michonne, Carl, and Rick were playing the Slap Jack card game by candlelight at their dining room table. Michonne had won the past two rounds, and she was starting to wonder if they were letting her win. After her third win, Michonne let out an involuntary yawn. Carl followed with a yawn right after her.

"Yawns are contagious, huh?" Rick asked, stretching and slouching back in his chair.

"You started it," Carl said, smiling at Michonne.

"Well _you_ copied," Michonne teased back.

Carl slapped the table. "Okay, I'm going to bed. Good night dad, 'night Michonne" Carl said, rising from his chair and stretching.

"Good night" Michonne and Rick said simultaneously. When Carl walked away, Michonne turned back to Rick and noticed he was gazing at her in the glow of the flickering candles set on the table.

"You going to bed too?" he asked, "you've had a day."

Michonne smiled. "I'm not if you're not."

Rick chuckled and tilted his head. "So what do you wanna do then?" he asked. Michonne didn't miss the flirtatiousness in his voice, and she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks.

She cleared her throat and leaned in towards him slightly.

"Actually, I want to talk," she began. "This morning, when Rosita gave me a check up, I asked her if I had a best friend. She told me that it was you."

Rick's eyebrows shot up. Michonne had always been his best friend, but since she became his wife, that was how he always thought of her. He guessed the best friend part never went away, but it was strange for him to think of her as that now.

"I know… I know we're married. But right now, I really just need my best friend. That's probably crazy to ask of you at this point, but if you can, can you just be my friend right now?" she asked.

"Michonne, I'll be whatever you need" Rick replied, folding his hands on the table, "so what can I help you with as your best friend?"

Michonne mimicked Rick's posture, also folding her hands.

"So uh… how did _we_ end up together?" Michonne asked, "to be honest you are a little different from the man I figured I'd spend my life with."

"How so?" Rick asked, already knowing the answer. He wanted to see if she'd come out and say it, and true to form she did.

"You're white. I've never dated a white guy before."

"Why not?" Rick asked.

"I mean, it wasn't really an active choice, there just weren't many white guys around me growing up. And for college I went to an HBCU so there weren't many there either, and then I met Mike at work and… well there you have it."

"If there were more white guys around do you think you would've dated them?" Rick asked, his eyebrows raising.

Michonne shrugged. "I've never really thought about it. I don't have anything against white guys, but the ones that I've come across never really showed any interest in me."

Rick chuckled. "Well I guess I'm lucky then. The first white guy you've been with. Their loss is my gain."

"Didn't you know all this already?" Michonne asked.

"Actually, no" Rick said. "We've never really talked about race. I guess it didn't matter at all in the scheme of things. We saw past all that bullshit."

"Wow" Michonne said impressed. The old her must've been through so much that the petty social norms of the old world didn't matter anymore.

"What about you?" she asked. "Did you date a black woman before?"

"Nope" Rick said.

"Why not?" Michonne asked, leaning in closer.

"Same reason as you. There weren't many black people in the town I grew up in. There were two black girls in my whole school growing up, and they both had boyfriends. I met Carl and Judith's mother, Lori, in high school, and we were together ever since. We got married 8 months after graduation. She was the only girl I'd ever…"

Rick let his sentence hang in the air.

"Oh" Michonne said, realization hitting her. "So it was just her and me?"

"Yea, pretty much" Rick said with a shrug.

Michonne couldn't help but be touched. It was hard to believe that this beautiful man had only been with one other person before her.

"I've never asked you, but were you with other guys besides Mike?" Rick asked, genuinely curious about the side of Michonne that they hadn't addressed. Their past relationships had never really mattered with so much craziness going on around them, but since she wanted him to be her best friend right now, he wanted to know.

"Yea" Michonne admitted, nodding her head.

"How many?" Rick asked.

"Four" she responded.

"Oh" Rick said, his eyes dropping to the table.

"Is that a problem?" Michonne asked.

Rick rubbed his temple. "No. It's just… I probably shouldn't have asked."

A silence fell upon the two, as the candles in front of them slowly burned down.

Michonne began to bite her lip as she thought, and Rick immediately noticed.

"What are you thinkin'?" he asked, curious about what had Michonne so lost in her head all of a sudden. She blinked a few times and then brought her eyes up to meet his, but still she didn't speak.

"Go on" Rick urged, seeing that there was something that she was reluctant to get out.

She sighed and flattened her palms against the wooden table.

"I was just thinking…", she sighed again, unsure, but then steeled herself to continue.

"I was just thinking, maybe you don't know me as well as you think."

 _ **Author's note:** I know its been a while, but I've been busy so I'm trying to get updates in when I can. Thank you for reviewing and sharing your enthusiasm about my stories I am so grateful. Reviews are the lifeblood of a fic writer. I am attempting to finish all of my unfinished fics (including my Bargaining Chip series, no I didn't forget about it) so please bear with me. I promised I will never leave a fic unfinished forever and I mean that. Until next time, can08writer._


	6. Chapter 6

"I was just thinking, maybe you don't know me as well as you think" Michonne said, looking into the candle on top of the wooden dining room table in front of her. She and Rick were sitting at it after Carl and Judith had gone up to bed, and Michonne was starting to realize that Rick knew as little about her pre-apocalyptic life as she knew about her post-apocalyptic life.

"What do you mean by that?" Rick asked, squinting his eyes.

"I mean, you didn't know I was a vegetarian, you didn't know I've never dated a white guy before, you didn't know how many guys I've been with… those are things that you should know, if you're _married_ to someone. Like… what are the names of my sisters? My parents? My cats?"

Rick stared at Michonne in disbelief and embarrassment. He was ashamed to say he didn't know any of the things she'd asked about.

"I… I don't know," he said, hanging his head.

"What do we talk about?" Michonne asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

"When we first met it was mostly survival. How to get food, how to get water, how to keep the walkers out, what we were gonna do for the winter. I know it might be hard for you to understand, but no one talked about the past. I guess we all just wanted to forget what we had. Forget what we'd lost. And after we found _this_ place and we got settled, we started to talk about what needed to happen now, and what we needed to do for the future. Our future. The past just didn't matter anymore."

"But the past is part of who we are. How can you say that doesn't matter? My life mattered, my job mattered… my son… he mattered," Michonne said, turning away from Rick and wiping a tear that tumbled from her eye.

"I'm not trying to say he didn't", Rick cut in, "of course he did. But the other stuff, the stuff that doesn't define us, _that_ stuff didn't matter. But if it's important to you I want to know. I want to know everything about who you were, Michonne. There were some things you never told me, and I figured you didn't want to talk about it so I let it go. If you want to tell me I'm here to listen."

Michonne sighed, and ran her palm across the wood on the table. "To be honest, I just… I feel alone. Nothing is the way I remember it. It's like waking up in another century. And no one that I know is alive. And I… I don't know where I fit in here. I don't know who I am. And I feel like you don't know who I am either."

"I can tell you who you _were_ before your accident. But maybe… maybe that's not who you _are_ anymore. And if it's not, I'll learn this new you," Rick said, his eyes wide and sincerely focused on her face. "Teach me who you are."

Michonne had never heard anything so sweet in her life. Her lip began to tremble, and before she knew what was happening, tears poured from her eyes. Rick stood up and Michonne came to him, hugging him. Rick gently kissed Michonne's forehead as she cried.

"I feel like all I'm doing is crying" Michonne said, her voice trembling through her tears. "I've never cried this much in my life."

"It's all right" Rick mumbled. "If you want to cry you can. I can't imagine what you're going through. And I don't want you to think that I don't know you."

Rick placed his hand underneath Michonne's chin and lifted her head. Her tears were still coming and she sniffled as she stared up at him, trying to get a hold of herself.

"Let me tell you what I know about you," he said, as he gently caressed her chin. "I know that you are the kindest woman I've ever met. And you know how I know?" Rick asked, wiping a tear from her face with his thumb. Michonne sniffled again.

"I know that because when our friend Maggie had just had her baby, you rode your horse to the Hilltop and stayed with her for three weeks to help her. You took the night shift of caring for the baby to let her get some sleep."

Rick leaned in closer to her. "I know that you love to wear anything soft and comfortable when you're wet, so whenever I go out on runs I try to find robes, and slippers for you, and you'll wear them after a shower, even if it's 100 degrees outside. I know you're the bravest woman I've ever met. And I know that because you've saved my life many times."

Michonne's mouth opened slightly. _She'd saved him?_

"I know you're the best mother I've ever seen, because you're a mother to our children and they adore you as much as any child could ever love their parent. I know that you hate to admit when something on you is hurting, but I can tell because you rub the back of your neck when you're in pain."

That had always been a habit of Michonne's when she was stressed or hurting.

"Wanna know what else I know about you?" Rick asked, caressing Michonne's cheek.

Michonne nodded.

"I know that you hate the smell of roses but you like to look at them, so I get you the plastic kind if I can find it. I knew you loved cats because the first time you went on a run with Carl and I, you took a cat statue from a diner, but you never told me the names of your real cats. I didn't know you had sisters, but I figure they have to be younger than you because you're so responsible you have all of the big sister vibes. And I know that the number of men you've slept with in the past has nothing to do with how I feel about you now. So no, I didn't know the answers to the questions that you asked me, but that doesn't mean I don't know you Michonne."

Rick placed his hands on either side of Michonne's cheeks. "And what I want you to know about me, is that I love you. All of you. And when I married you I was in it for the long haul. So teach me who you are now, and I'll learn how to love that."

Michonne smiled, even as tears burst from her eyes again. She reached up and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"C'mon" Rick said, grabbing Michonne's hand and leading her out onto the back porch. Even though the day had been hot, the temperature had dropped, and although Michonne welcomed the cool air now, she knew she'd get chilly in a few minutes.

Rick led her to a wooden rocking bench that was stationed on the back porch.

"This looks likes the homemade furniture I used to see when my family visited Amish country" Michonne said in awe.

"Go on, try it out" Rick said, gesturing to the rocker.

Michonne gently sat on the seat, impressed that it was so well made it didn't even creak.

She began to slowly rock as Rick watched.

"It's so comfortable" she said.

"I know. It's your favorite place to sit" he said, lowering himself next to her. "So tell me about your life."

Michonne tilted her head and began. "Well, I was born and raised in Atlanta. I've always been a city girl. All of this" she said, gesturing to the fields and stables that lay behind the house, "this is new."

She shooed away a mosquito that flew past her face.

"I went to Clark Atlanta University for undergrad, and then I went to law school. I have… had… two sisters, Marie and Marvella. I was the oldest. My baby sister Marie, she was in her last year of college in Florida. And Marvella she lived in Texas with her husband. My parents were Piers and Fiona Bernard. They were both French teachers at Emory University. I had two cats, Socks and Stripes. Andre named them." Michonne's sadness seemed to temporarily go away as she spoke of her family. Rick regretted not learning they existed before this point.

"No brothers?" Rick asked.

"No. My dad always said he was outnumbered. But once Andre was born… It brought him so much joy to have a grandson. Andre brought everyone so much joy."

"I know he did" Rick said.

"I'm sorry to talk about him all the time. I know all of this happened so long ago. But… what if I can't get over this, Rick?" Michonne asked. "I don't know what happened to my sisters, my parents, my friends… I don't really know what happened with Mike and Andre. I mean, I know they're dead, but why? How? Could I have done something different?"

"You are grieving, on top of losing your memory, and being thrust into a whole different family. You don't have to get over it. You just have to learn to live with it and that's gonna take a while. It did for you the first time."

Michonne was impressed by how understanding Rick was. Even though this situation was tough on her, it had to be tough on him too.

"What about you? Tell me about your life" Michonne said, turning to him.

"My life? Well I grew up in King County Georgia, the complete opposite of Atlanta" Rick said, causing Michonne to chuckle. "Cows and horses outnumbered people out there. I had a younger brother Jeff. I don't think I ever told you about him. He was overseas on a business trip right before I got shot, so I'm guessing he got stuck there."

"Before you got shot? You mean by the Governor?" Michonne asked, confused. Rick and Carl had explained that Rick was injured by the Governor when he left the prison.

"No, I got shot before that. Before the virus outbreak. I was a sheriff's deputy and I got shot in the line of duty. I was in a coma when everything fell apart."

"How?" Michonne asked, "did someone get you out of the hospital?"

"No" Rick said. "I woke up in the hospital and it was abandoned. Everyone living was gone. My whole life was gone. Just like you. I know how it feels when everything you know, everything you ever worked for, no longer exists. I was fortunate to find Carl and Lori again. I'm guessing most people in my position would never find out what happened to them either way."

"You're lucky that you even woke up, that they were alive, that you found them…" Michonne said softly.

"I was lucky that _you_ found us too" Rick said. "Almost like it was meant to be."

Michonne wrapped her arms around herself and Rick realized she was chilly.

"Be right back" he said. He headed into the house and within seconds was back with a blanket. He stretched his arm towards Michonne, gesturing for her to move closer so he could put his arm around her.

She hesitated for a moment, but then slid closer to him and rested her head on his warm shoulder. He took the blanket and spread it over the both of them, keeping them warm.

"Where did you go to college?" Michonne asked.

"I was briefly enrolled in King County Community College, but I do mean briefly. I dropped out after a few months because I had a wife to care for. I had a few odd jobs here and there, to Lori's annoyance, and then she got pregnant with Carl and I realized I had to buckle down and be a grown up. So I got a job as a deputy. My first real job. I did it for Carl really. I figured he deserved a dad he could look up to."

"Lori didn't work?" Michonne asked.

"Nah. She always enjoyed being a housewife. Although she sucked at it," Rick chuckled. "She couldn't cook, didn't clean, didn't do the stereotypical housewife stuff. But she was happy staying home, so I took that on, that I'd be the breadwinner."

"That's admirable" Michonne nodded.

"Did you ever want to stay home with Andre?" Rick asked.

"I did, for a couple of months, right after he was born. I loved my son, but I was not about the stay-at-home mom life. I never was. After my maternity leave was up, Andre stayed with Mike's mom during the day."

Rick nodded and slowly rubbed Michonne's arm on top of the blanket. Goosebumps involuntary raised on her skin.

"So using your intuitive lawyer skills, what's your impression of me so far?" Rick asked, his voice betraying some nervousness.

Michonne smiled slightly but she knew Rick couldn't see.

"I think you're a kind man," she began. "Responsible, you obviously care about your family, and this town."

"Yea?" Rick asked, encouraging her to continue.

"I'm guessing you like to be the protector. And the leader. Which is why you're in charge here. That's my impression of you so far."

Rick was silent for a moment. "And… is that a good thing?"

Michonne smiled. "Yea I think so. I guess I _thought_ so since we got married."

Rick smiled and pulled Michonne a few inches closer to himself.

They sat in silence for a while and watched the fireflies that occasionally illuminated the lightless night.

"I'm sorry you had to clean up my vomit today" Michonne said softly.

Rick chuckled, the laugh vibrating his chest and causing Michonne's head to bounce on Rick's shoulder.

"It's not the first time and it won't be the last" Rick said nonchalantly.

"Really?" Michonne asked, lifting her head from Rick's shoulder. "When did I throw up before?"

"Stomach flu outbreak last year. You, Carl, _and_ Judith all caught it. Worst three weeks of my life."

"Awww. Sorry about that" Michonne said with a smile, and she turned her head to look up at Rick just as he looked down at her.

Their lips were mere inches from each other. Rick's eyes flicked back and forth, staring into Michonne's. Her eyes traveled to his lips. She was tempted. His lips looked appetizing, and he was her husband after all.

Rick was still, and it was clear he was going to let her make the first move on this.

Michonne was just on the cusp of going for it, when the thought of Andre overwhelmed her. She pulled away.

"I'm gonna head to bed" she said, sitting up.

Rick didn't say a word, but let out a frustrated breath as he watched her get up.

"Are you coming in?" She asked.

"Yea, in a minute" Rick responded. "Good night Michonne."

Michonne nodded, slightly embarrassed because she knew Rick was hoping for that kiss. And also embarrassed because she'd wanted to give it to him.

"Good night Rick. Sleep well," she said, before turning and entering the house.

 *****can08writer*****

Rick had already started breakfast when Michonne made her way downstairs the next morning and paused at the bottom of the steps. She was wearing a large t-shirt she'd found in a drawer that she assumed was hers, and a pair of boxers that were large enough to work as shorts. She had been sleeping in the bedroom that the couple used to share, while Rick stayed in the guest bedroom. Michonne felt bad about kicking the man out of his own bed, but he was a gentleman and insisted that the upstairs bed was more comfortable and she should sleep there.

Michonne had been more tired than she'd expected, and as soon as her head hit the pillow she slept like a rock through the rest of the night. When she sleepily made her way down the steps, she was pleasantly surprised to see Rick in a white shirt that clung to his chest and stomach, and blue plaid pajama pants that hung from just above his hip bones, with his back to her, cooking something on the stovetop.

The shirt was a little small and stopped exactly where the pants started. As Rick moved around, the front of the shirt moved upwards slightly and revealed a small glimpse of his abdomen.

Michonne paused for a moment to stare at the man. When she first woke up in this world she didn't have time to notice Rick's handsomeness. She was more worried about what was going on and how to wake up from this nightmare she'd found herself in, but now she couldn't help but notice how attractive her new husband was. And the sexiest part was how he took care of his children.

Judith was in the kitchen following right behind Rick, helping with breakfast.

"There sweetheart," Rick said, using his chin to point to where the silverware was. "Take the forks and knives and set the table," Rick directed, as he sprinkled some seasoning onto whatever he was cooking on the stove.

Judith was wearing a plaid nightgown the exact print of Rick's, that stretched to her knees. Her matching outfit made her look like an adorable miniature of her father. She was barefoot, and her blond hair was matted and messily spread across her face. She must've just woken up.

"Can I have a taste? Please daddy?" Judith asked, tugging on Rick's shirt and standing on her tiptoes to look into the pan.

Rick reached over to a plate sitting next to him on the counter, broke off a piece of something from the plate, and held it towards Judith's mouth.

Judith took a bite from the food in Rick's hand.

"How is it?" Rick asked, his southern twang noticeable.

"Hmm… it's pretty good" Judith said sounding somewhat surprised.

"You think Mommy'll like it?" Rick asked.

Judith gave Rick a shrug. "Maybe" she said uncommitedly.

Rick gave a small pout. "Okay, go set the table now."

Judith turned to place the utensils on the table and finally spotted Michonne.

"Hi Mommy!" she said brightly, running to Michonne and leaping into her arms. The girl was almost getting too big to be held like that, but Michonne didn't mind the little girl who obviously was used to jumping on her.

"Hi Judith, good morning" Michonne responded, giving her a hug before putting her back down.

"Mommy, you don't call me Judith," she said, looking at Michonne reproachfully.

"Oh, I'm sorry" Michonne said. "What do I call you?"

"Judy Bee, Sweetheart, Jelly Bean, and Peanut" she said, counting off her nicknames on her fingers.

Michonne froze at the last nickname, and Rick spun around to look at her.

"Judith, go finish with the table" Rick said quickly.

Judith looked up at Michonne and realized that her mother's whole demeanor changed.

"What's wrong Mommy?" Judith asked.

"Nothing, Jelly Bean, thank you for reminding me" Michonne said, and planted a kiss on Judith's forehead.

Judith stared at Michonne for a few more seconds unconvinced, and then turned to set the table.

Ignoring the pang in her chest from hearing Judith mention the nickname she'd given Andre, Michonne made her way over to Rick.

"That smells good" she said. She noticed that Rick took a minute to study the clothes she was wearing. His mouth turned up in a smile and he chuckled.

"Wearing my clothes again, huh?" he asked.

"What?"

"Those are my clothes" he said again.

Michonne looked down at the t-shirt. "Oh, sorry. It was in a drawer with a bunch of women's stuff, I just assumed it was mine. I… I can take it off…"

"No" Rick said. "You steal my clothes all the time, it's as much yours as mine."

"They're comfortable" Michonne said, self consciously fidgeting with her shirt.

"They look good on you" Rick said, looking her up and down again in a way that made her heart flutter.

"Thanks" Michonne said. "I see you and Judith have matching pajamas, that's very cute."

"Well you have 'em too" Rick chuckled, "same with Carl, except he never wears his. It was a christmas gift from King Ezekiel. Uh… he's the leader of another community. You rarely wear yours either. You prefer my clothes… or nothing…" Rick's eyes burned into Michonne's when he said the last statement, causing her to blink and look away.

Michonne, ignoring Rick's obvious sexual innuendo, tried to find anything to look at besides Rick. Her eyes found the pan on the stove. "What are you making?"

"Hash browns" Rick said. "I tried to keep breakfast as vegetarian as I could, but there are eggs in them though. I hope you don't mind."

"It's fine" Michonne said quickly, she could tell that these people had to eat what was available to them at the time, and she wasn't about to complain about eggs being mixed in.

"Thank you for trying to make it vegetarian. What's in the oven?" Michonne asked. She could feel the heat from something baking in there.

"Made some buns" Rick said.

"I helped!" Judith called.

"Well they smell delicious" Michonne replied. "Where's Carl?"

"Right here" Carl said groggily before stumbling his way down the steps, "I need some coffee."

"Soon as we learn how to grow coffee beans" Rick said.

Carl plopped himself down at the table, his hair just as messy as Judith's.

"You need me to take Judy to school today? Or are you taking her?" he asked Rick.

"I want _you_ to take me Carl!" Judith said.

"You heard the girl" Rick replied with a laugh. He dumped the buns from the oven into a plate and placed it on the table. Then he brought the hashbrowns over as well, as Michonne took a seat.

"Dad, you sure cooked to impress" Carl said, his eyebrows raising at the sight of the hashbrowns and buns.

"He doesn't usually do this?" Michonne asked Carl, nodding towards the food.

"Not unless he got in trouble for something," Carl tattled, and Rick turned around and narrowed his eyes.

"Now, just a minute. I cook too" Rick said, finally joining the rest of the family at the table.

" _You_ usually cook" Carl said to Michonne, ignoring his father's comment, "although this does look promising, dad."

Michonne laughed at Carl's dig on Rick.

"I'm sure it tastes very good" Michonne defended him, placing a bun on her plate while Rick scooped two hash browns onto it.

The family began eating.

"How was your sleep?" Rick asked.

"It was alright. I slept like a rock" Michonne said with a laugh.

"You guys didn't sleep in the same…? oh," Carl asked before answering his own question. He looked at Rick and then Michonne quickly. He knew the relationship between his parents was complicated right now.

Rick's face turned red and he bit into a bun while Michonne used her fork to move a hash brown around her plate.

"And your head?" Rick asked, ignoring Carl's question.

"Uh, its doing okay. No headache, no nausea. Just a little tired" Michonne assured him.

She glanced over at Judith who was mushing her hash browns before eating them.

"Don't play with your food" Carl ordered, and Judith shot him an annoyed look before placing her fork down.

"Mommy, when can I get my own pony?" Judith asked, crossing her arms in sudden indignation.

"Um…" Michonne looked at Rick for help.

"You're too young for a pony" Rick said, "you know that." Judith had brought this topic up at least 5 days in a row, and Rick suspected that with Judith's knowledge of Michonne's limited memory, she was hoping today might be her day for a yes.

"But Hope has one," Judith reasoned.

"Hope is older than you" Rick said before biting into his hash brown.

"Well Carl has a horse" Judith continued.

"Once again, I'm older than you," Carl explained.

"I want to be older too," Judith said with a pout.

"Hey, you can always help clean the horse stables if you want some practice" Carl said with a smirk.

"Okay!" Judith said enthusiastically, taking Carl by surprise. He didn't expect her to agree.

"Actually, that's a good idea" Rick acknowledged. "If you show you can be responsible and help with taking care of the other horses, maybe we'll think about getting you your own."

Judith smiled. It was the most hopeful answer she'd received yet.

"Mommy, can you come with Carl when he walks me to school?" Judith asked.

"Mommy should probably stay here and rest" Rick answered for her, and Michonne could see the pout appear on Judith's lip.

"I'm okay, really. Sure Jelly Bean, I'll take you to school."

 *****can08writer*****

Days later, Michonne was starting to get the hang of the everyday flow of Alexandria. After a few more walks with Rick and Carl she now knew the general layout of the town. The fields, the stables, the houses, the mill and bakery, the iron forges, it was amazing they were all made without modern conveniences.

She had to admit, with the end of the world came the end of the bullshit too. The majority of couples in Alexandria were interracial, no one batted an eye at the same sex couples, and women and men did the same jobs equally: gardening, watch duty, errands, traveling to other communities, and food distribution. There were no BS titles that made one person better than another. Everyone was just a person. She understood now why Rick told her the past didn't matter, because here it really didn't.

Everyone had lost someone. Everyone had dead children, spouses, siblings, parents, cousins, aunts and uncles. Loss was so common that it was the one uniting factor everyone had in common. It was sad, but it was beautiful in a way.

She hadn't gotten any more spontaneous memories since her memory of Andre's body, but she had made new memories. She'd made a habit of playing cards with Carl and Rick before bed. She and Judith had fun finger painting and building towns with Legos. And she and Rick were getting closer too, although she was more wary of getting too close to him than the children.

Michonne had finally convinced Rick and Carl that she was feeling well enough to be left alone for a few hours. Rick had meetings that he'd been holding off since her injury, and Carl had been staying by her side in the house whenever Rick had to leave briefly. She wanted to give the two of them a break and had insisted that they go about their business.

After picking Judith up from school, Michonne took a walk with her through Alexandria, as Judith bounced a ball.

Michonne felt such love for Rick's children, but especially Judith. She'd never had a daughter but she'd always wanted one. She and Mike had talked about having a second child, and although they weren't necessarily trying for another, they hadn't been preventing a second pregnancy. She had always hoped if she got pregnant again, it'd be a girl.

"Mommy look at this" Judith called as she ran while bouncing the ball, a new skill she'd discovered.

"Wowww" Michonne humored her, "good job, Jelly Bean."

"Mommy look again!" Judith called, running back towards Michonne while continuing to bounce the ball, but it hit her foot and rolled off down the block.

"Aww man" Judith sighed, and she turned to run after the toy.

Michonne waited patiently while Judith retrieved the ball.

A noise drew her attention. The people on watch were opening the gates to let in a few wagons and riders with horses. Michonne watched curiously as she waited for Judith to return.

"Mommy, Uncle Daryl's back!" Judith said excitedly, pointing at the gates when she recognized the wagons. "Can we go see him?"

Michonne barely knew Daryl, but from what Rick had told her about him he was a good man. Plus he'd promised to bring Judith back some Cod jerky from Oceanside.

"Okay, c'mon," Michonne said, grabbing Judith's hand and heading over to the open gates.

As they approached, Michonne could see two of the wagons were packed with fishing supplies, nets, dried fish, decorative shells, clothing, and other odds and ends.

Townspeople gathered in front of the wagons to see what the travelers had brought back.

Daryl hopped out of a wagon with a smile on his face.

"Uncle Daryl!" Judith called, running to him. He scooped her up in his arms and swung her in a circle before placing her back on the ground.

"Hey Lil' ass kicker! How you been?" He asked.

"Good" Judith said. She then looked back at Michonne, "right Mommy?"

"Oh yea, she's been good," Michonne agreed, nodding her head.

Daryl quickly turned to one of the men on watch on the wall. "Hey, don't close the gate, we got two more wagons 'bout a quarter mile away, they had to change a wheel but they're right behind us." He turned back around when the man nodded.

"Hey 'Chonne, you remember stuff yet?" Daryl asked her.

"Nope. I've still lost my memory."

"Good 'cuz I lost the bet we made, but since you don't remember it I guess I don't gotta pay up," Daryl joked, giving a shrug.

Michonne grinned at him. "You better pay me what you owe me Daryl, or I'll find out what the bet was from Rick, and then you'll be sorry."

"Yea, we'll see" Daryl said, and then he focused his attention back on Judith.

"So since your mama said you've been good, guess what I got you?" Daryl questioned.

"A present?" Judith asked, getting so excited she began to bounce in place.

"Got you a treat," Daryl said, reaching behind the bench of the wagon he'd been riding in and pulling out food wrapped in a piece of cloth.

"Yay! Cod jerky!" Judith said, balancing on her toes to see her present better.

"Now don't eat it all at once" Daryl warned her, "it's gon' be a while till we can go back to Oceanside."

"I'll take it" Michonne said, sticking out her hand, and Daryl passed her the wrapped up treat. "I'll hold it for you," she explained to Judith.

Judith pouted slightly, but began to bounce her ball and immediately got absorbed in the game, already forgetting about the jerky.

"So, since you ain't letting me off the hook for our bet, even though you can't even remember it, I got you somethin' too.

"Me?" Michonne asked, completely surprised.

Daryl pulled out what looked like a wooden jewelry box.

"Thought you might like it. Look inside," Daryl said.

Michonne opened the box and saw small shells inside.

"Cyndi told me you're supposed to put those in your hair or some shit like that. I don't know nothin' 'bout that, but seeing that I owed you…"

The shells were beautiful, semi-iridescent they glinted in the sun. "Thank you Daryl," Michonne said, closing the box and smiling up at him, "you're so sweet."

Daryl shook some of his hair from his face like a wet dog. He turned slightly red and frowned before grumbling "yea well, don't say I ain't never got you nothin'."

While the adults talked, Judith was busy practicing her ball bouncing skills. She bounced the ball hard and it ricocheted out of reach, hitting the crumbling sidewalk before rolling towards the open gate. Judith watched as her ball rolled out the gate completely unnoticed. Her face dropped.

She knew she wasn't supposed to leave the gates _ever_ without an adult. She looked over at her mother, but she was talking to Uncle Daryl, and all the other adults were unloading things from the wagons. No one was paying her any mind, and she figured she could just run and get her ball and come back before anyone noticed.

Slowly, she walked towards the open gate and peered out. Her ball had disappeared underneath a patch of low bushes about 40 feet away.

She spun around again but Michonne and Uncle Daryl were still distracted. She was terrified, but she figured the ball was right there.

Judith dashed out the gate and straight towards the bushes, adrenaline fueling her. She scanned the area around herself one more time before kneeling down and peering underneath the bush. It was dark under there. She figured she'd be able to see the ball right there, but it must've rolled under further than she'd thought. She dropped to the ground completely and shimmied further underneath, her head and upper body completely hidden under the dense growth.

It was dark, but she felt around with the tips of her fingers until she made contact with something round. She reached under even further until her fingertips could get some grip on the ball, and she slowly rolled it back towards her.

Relieved to have gotten her toy, Judith slowly pushed herself backwards to free herself from the bushes when a low growl made her freeze in place.

She could hear a trampling sound coming from the direction opposite of where Alexandria was. Judith knew what it was. A walker. In a panic, she furiously pushed herself backwards to get out from under the bush but there was a sharp yank on her head. She tried to move again and the yank happened even harder causing her to cry out. Her hair was caught on the lower branches of the bushes. Judith was terrified.

"Mommy!" she screamed, breaking down in a hysterical panic, "Mommy!"

Michonne had been joking around with Daryl who was beginning to grow on her, when her motherly instincts kicked in so strongly she felt it down to her bones. All of a sudden she realized she no longer heard the bouncing of Judith's ball. She scanned her immediate area and didn't see the little girl anywhere.

"Judith?" Michonne called, thinking maybe she was hiding, or on the other side of one of the wagons.

"Mommy!" Michonne heard the cry over the sounds of horses, and people, and the banging of hammers and the call of animals. That scream was coming from outside the gates, and Michonne's blood ran cold.

"Judith?!" Michonne screamed, running to the gate in a panic, pushing past stunned people in her way.

Judith had managed somehow to pull her hair free from underneath the bush, but the walker she'd heard was drawn to her cries and was a few feet away, stumbling towards her.

"Mommy, help!" Judith screamed, scrambling backwards on her butt to flee from the pursuing walker. It reached for her but fell face first on the ground, chomping it's teeth in anticipation.

This walker was skeletal. It's chest had caved in, and its skull only had thin whips of hair that were still attached to parts of its scalp. But Michonne's eyes focused in on its mouth, its wide open maw, gnashing at the opportunity to sink its teeth into the girl.

Before Michonne could think, or reason, or come up with a plan, she was dashing towards Judith, running full out. She was working on full instinct. She didn't know how to kill walkers, she didn't know how to slow them down, all she knew was that Judith was in danger. She had an urge to reach for something on her back as she ran, but there was nothing there.

The walker had recovered from its face plant and was now crawling towards Judith as she crab walked backwards. It was trying to take bites of her shoes.

"Get away from her!" Michonne screamed at the walker as she reached Judith and yanked her backwards by her shirt. The walker reached again and one of its fingers got tangled in Judith's shoelaces, causing the whole shoe to get pulled off when Michonne yanked her to her feet.

Michonne screamed in terror when the walker put Judith's shoe to its mouth and tried to eat it. Picking Judith up haphazardly by the waist, Michonne dashed back to the gates, she and Judith screaming as they ran.

An arrow whizzed past Michonne and hit the walker square in the eye, ending its afterlife, but Michonne didn't notice. She ran past everyone at the gates. She ran until she was deep inside Alexandria. She ran until she finally felt safe.

She was shaking so badly she could barely hold on to Judith anymore, and so was Judith. She finally collapsed to the ground on her knees and kept Judith standing before her.

"Mommy!" Judith cried, still hysterical and not wanting to be put down on the ground.

"Judith, are you okay? Let me… let me see" Michonne said, her hands shaking so badly she could barely pull up the ankle of Judith's pants to see if she'd been bitten.

"I'm sorry Mommy. I'm sorry Mommy. I'm sorry," Judith repeated, shaking her head. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

Michonne pulled Judith to her and kissed her cheek and the top of her head. "It's okay Peanut. Mommy is here. Mommy's here. I got you. You're safe now. Mommy saved you."

Rick, hearing the commotion at the gate, was jogging over there to investigate when he found Michonne and Judith hugging on the ground, both of them shaking and in tears.

He made a beeline towards them.

"What happened?!" Rick asked, throwing his arms around the both of them.

Michonne was shaking badly, and Judith was clinging to her with her eyes closed.

"What is it? What happened?" Rick asked, looking up and seeing Daryl and a few others jogging towards them.

"She… she got out the gate and… it got her shoe" Michonne managed to get out.

In shock, Rick looked down at Judith's foot and saw one of her socked feet.

"A _walker_?" Rick asked, the blood draining from his face.

Judith pressed her cheek deeper into Michonne's neck as if to block out the memory of the walker.

Michonne looked up at Daryl and then Rick, with tears falling from her eyes. "I… I had to get her… it… it almost bit her foot… it tried to eat her shoe," Michonne said, her hands were still shaking from the adrenaline. She had never been so close to death before. She had never seen another person so close to death. Her daughter had almost died. That's what Judith was, her daughter.

Rick reached down and lifted Judith into his arms. She was eerily silent and buried her face into Rick's neck.

"It's okay sweetheart, it's okay" he cooed, rubbing her back. "You're safe now. Daddy's got you."

Rick wrapped his arms around Michonne's shoulder with his other hand, and escorted his shaking girls back to their home.


	7. Chapter 7

Rick and Michonne lay crammed into Judith's bed on their sides, with Judith snuggled between them. She had been quiet the whole rest of the afternoon, badly shaken by her nearly fatal encounter with a walker. When it came time for bedtime, she called for both of her parents, only settling when they climbed into bed on either side of her, stroking her hair and cuddling her until she fell asleep.

Now, Michonne was trying not to move and accidently wake up the traumatized girl. Judith was lying on her side, facing her, her blond curls falling lightly across her eyes. Her big brown eyes had been staring at Michonne's for almost a half hour before they finally closed. Michonne's hands were lightly resting on Judith's shoulders. Rick was behind Judith, his strong arm thrown across her belly. Because Judith's face was directly in front of hers Michonne had no idea if Rick was awake or not, but he hadn't moved in a while.

Michonne felt a slight squeezing in her belly and throat. After the walker attack, her nausea had returned. Although she hadn't thrown up, she'd felt sick, and she settled on apples for dinner, not able to stomach anything heavier.

Needing to sit up because of her nausea, she slowly slid her hand from Judith's shoulder. Just when she was about to inch away from the sleeping girl, Rick's hand grabbed her thigh, startling her.

He quickly poked his head up from behind Judith.

' _You okay?'_ He mouthed, trying to stay quiet.

Michonne nodded. ' _My stomach,'_ she mouthed back. She continued to extract herself from the bed until she was standing. Rick slowly removed his hand from Judith's side, and rolled out of bed, and the two of them creeped into the hallway.

"What's wrong?" Rick asked as soon as they were in the hallway.

"Just feeling a little nauseous," Michonne said.

"With what you just went through that's understandable" Rick said, nodding. "You didn't eat much for dinner either."

"I just kept seeing that walker's face. The way it gnashed its teeth and almost bit Judith's ankle. It tried to eat her shoe, It would've torn her apart. It's skin was hanging off, it's hair was missing, and I could see it's bones. It's eyes were just… dead. When I think about what happened…" Michonne said, her hand slightly rubbing her abdomen, "I feel sick to my stomach. She could've died. Over a stupid ball. I should've watched her better."

"It wasn't your fault," Rick said, holding up his hand to stop her. "It wasn't. You saved her life. Without… without even knowing how to, you saved her life. You were scared, terrified, but you put that behind you and did what you had to do. That's who you really are."

Michonne unconsciously reached for the back of her neck, rubbing gently.

"Come with me," Rick said. He reached out for Michonne to take his hand, and without question she did, letting him lead her to her… or, their… bedroom.

Rick placed a comfortable pillow on the floor next to the bed. He then went into the bathroom and fetched all of her loc twisting supplies, as well as a jar of oil.

"C'mon" he said, motioning for her to sit on the pillow on the floor.

Michonne smiled lightly, and then let Rick help her to the pillow on the floor. He sat on the bed, the back of her head in between his knees.

"Just relax. If you wanna go to sleep while I do this, feel free. You usually do if you're tired," he said, unscrewing the top of the oil bottle and rubbing some of it on his fingers.

Michonne said nothing as he pushed her hair to one side and pulled down the straps of her camisole so that he'd have access to her neck, but the feel of his fingers on her sent shivers down her spine.

He pressed his fingers to the skin at the base of her neck and slowly began to move. Gently at first, but with more pressure as he continued, massaging her muscles that she didn't even realize were sore.

It felt so good she soon let out small moans that she didn't know she was making. Rick smiled as she rolled her head, relaxing her muscles further. Her eyes fluttered shut as he continued, moving his hands up and down the back of her neck, and then settling on her shoulders again. When she had completely relaxed into his lap, he reached over and rubbed some of her sweet smelling loc pomade onto his fingers.

She moaned a little and opened her eyes when his hands left her neck, but her eyes closed again when they found their way into her hair, slowly massaging her scalp.

"That feels so good," she said softly.

"I know," Rick said with a confident smirk. He continued to rub the pomade into her hair until it was moist. He then started with individual locs and began to retwist them, joining the new growth into the existing loc.

"You weren't kidding when you said you were my best student" Michonne purred, eyes closed and a sleepy smile on her face.

"Mmhmmm" Rick hummed, starting on the next loc.

"Mike… he'd never do something like this," she mumbled before she thought better of it.

She felt Rick's fingers stiffen in her hair for a moment, but he quickly recovered, continuing his twisting motion.

"Yea well, I'm not Mike" he responded in an even tone.

Michonne opened her eyes, embarrassed that she'd said that.

"Sorry. I know you're not," she apologized, her muscles beginning to stiffen again.

Rick put his hands on her shoulders, rubbing her neck again.

"Just relax, don't worry about it" he ordered. "Close your eyes."

Michonne obeyed, and Rick positioned her head leaning back on his lap again. He continued twisting her hair.

"I do whatever I can to make you happy, because that's what you deserve. I can't give you many things, the way the world is now. I know you probably were used to a lot more than you have now. I wish I could take you on a trip somewhere, or buy you some fancy jewelry, but I can't. So I do what I can, 'cuz you're worth it."

Michonne opened her eyes again, turning around to look at Rick. She rested her hand on his leg, gently rubbing it.

Rick continued. "To be honest, finding out about who you were… who you are… it's kind of intimidating. I'm scared that when you take away everything we made together in this world, you're a college educated hot shot lawyer, and I'm a country high school graduate who was lucky enough to get a job as a deputy. You're way out of my league. Smart, beautiful, independent. And you're a survivor, even though you don't remember it."

Rick shook his head.

"I don't think I deserve you… sometimes. When I really think on it. How could I be so lucky to get you?"

Michonne furrowed her forehead and tilted her head to the side.

"How do you figure _you're_ the lucky one?" she asked. She turned so that she was kneeling on the pillow facing Rick.

"You are an amazing man. I may not remember everything about you, but from what I've seen in the past few days I know I was lucky to have found you, and Carl, and Judith. I've been so happy here, even with everything I'm dealing with. You've been so kind to me, and understanding. Even though I know…" Michonne paused for a moment and sighed.

"I know I'm not the same woman you remember. That other me, she was brave and fearless. Just listening to the stories you've told me, I don't think she would've had a problem protecting Judith, and compared to her I feel helpless. I don't think I can live in these walls forever, and like you said before, sometimes the walkers get through the walls. I don't want to be scared like this forever, because right now, I'm terrified. For me, and for Judith. I know you and Carl can take care of yourselves with those things, but we almost died. That's unacceptable. Especially after what happened to Andre. I won't lose another child."

"You did a good job of protecting Judith. You did your best and both of you survived" Rick said, trying to make her feel better.

"I want to learn my weapon again. I want to learn the katana. I know Carl will teach me."

Rick nodded. "Okay, if that's what you want to do I think you should. But you also need to take it easy. You're still healing. You still have those headaches, and nausea and fatigue. Don't push yourself."

"I won't" Michonne agreed, "but I have to learn how to defend myself, and others."

Rick smiled and placed his palm against Michonne's cheek. Michonne leaned into his hand.

"C'mon, let me finish your hair and then you can go to bed" Rick said, patting his lap as a cue for Michonne to sit down and lean against it again.

Michonne turned and positioned herself on the pillow again, but within seconds she let out a yawn. Rick resumed twisting her hair, smiling as she fell asleep leaning against his thigh.

 *****can08writer*****

"This is how you hold it," Carl said, placing his right hand on the top of the katana's handle, and his left hand placed a few inches behind it.

"You use your right hand to control the blade, left hand to stabilize it," Carl explained as he swung the blade through the air. The sharp sword made a singing sound as it whipped past Carl, and Michonne had to admit she was slightly intimidated by how dangerous the thing was.

"Here, you try now" Carl said, thrusting the sword towards her, blade down.

Michonne looked back at Judith who'd insisted on sitting on the back porch to watch the lesson. Carl said she could watch as long as she stayed on the porch and far away from the swinging sword.

"Go mommy!" Judith yelled, encouraging her with a cheer.

Michonne smiled and took the sword from Carl, positioning her hands like he'd shown her.

"Good" Carl said, "now swing it so you can get the hang of it."

Michonne swung to the left, then to the right, surprised about how natural it felt.

"How's it feel?" Carl asked.

"It doesn't feel as complicated as it looked" she said. She swung two more times, but the last time she came dangerously close to hitting Carl.

"Woah" Carl said, taking a few steps backwards. "Let's not take out my other eye."

Michonne chuckled and smiled at Carl. "Sorry about that, this thing has a pretty wide berth, but it's cool."

"When you're fighting a walker, you have to hit it in the head. You have to destroy its brain. If you hit it anywhere else, like its heart or its limbs, or even if you cut its head off, that won't stop a walker. Anything attached to its brain will be able to move."

Michonne looked at Carl, horrified. "It won't die if you cut off its head?"

"Nope" Carl said, "they'll just snap at you from the ground."

Michonne swallowed down the bile rising in her throat.

"Here, this is one of the practice exercises you taught me" Carl said, holding out his hand for her to pass him the sword.

Carl raised the katana in front of him and brought it downwards, as if he were hitting a walker straight through the head. He then swiped the sword to the right, landing another hypothetical head shot, and then to the left. Finally, he stabbed straight ahead, a move that would go through a walker's face. He repeated the four strikes one more time so Michonne could see it again. He then passed the sword back to her.

Michonne gripped the sword tightly in her hands, getting used to the weight of it. She then repeated Carl's practice exercise perfectly the first time.

Judith clapped happily from the steps, impressed with her mother's progress.

"So I think you're out of the beginner's class," Carl said with a smile.

"That wasn't so bad," Michonne said feeling encouraged. "What's next?"

Carl took the sword back. "Okay, another practice exercise" he said. He raised the katana in front of him again. He swung the sword over his head to the right, in a move that would decapitate any person or walker nearby. He did the same on his left. He then thrust the sword forward, in a potential chest wound, and then he pivoted in a move that would decapitate someone behind him.

"That looked awesome," Michonne said, impressed.

"It looks even cooler when you do it" Carl answered. "You told me when you pivot, put most of your weight on your back foot to keep you stable, and then switch to your front foot when you do the last move. Do you need me to show you again?"

"Uh… no, surprisingly I think I've got this" Michonne said, nodding her head. She stepped away from Carl further to make sure she didn't hit him, and then perfectly replicated the exercise he'd shown.

"You did that better than I did," Carl said with a smile. "You may not remember using a katana, but your body does."

"You think?" she asked.

"Yea, like a beginner would never be able to do that so easily. It took me a while to get the first exercise down perfectly."

"Well, that makes me feel good. Like maybe I can get my skills back."

"I think they _are_ back" Carl said. "They never went anywhere, you just have to be reminded of them."

Michonne nodded, feeling more confident about herself than she had when she woke up. Her body still remembered how to defend herself, she just had to get her brain on board.

"Mommy, can I try?" Judith asked, standing up from her seat on the rocking bench.

"No Judes, you know you don't touch mom's katana" Carl said reproachfully.

"Does she know how to defend herself at all?" Michonne asked Carl.

"Uh, no. She's six. We never figured she'd have to learn yet."

Michonne looked back at Judith who seemed left out. She had crossed her arms and scrunched up her face at Carl's words.

"Can you teach her something?" Michonne asked softly, "at least how to get away from walkers, or how to disable them… or something… If she somehow finds herself face to face with one again, she has to know what to do. She almost _died_ ," Michonne stressed to Carl.

"Yea… okay" Carl agreed, seeing how distressed Michonne was about it. "C'mon Judes" he called.

Judith ran over to her brother, eager to be part of the training session.

"Okay, if you're ever near a walker again, what's the first thing you should do?" he asked.

"Uh… call for help?" she asked.

"No, sometimes calling for help can be dangerous. That might bring more over to you. What should you do before that?"

"Um, run away!" Judith said excitedly.

"Yea that's it. You always get away from the walker first. You're fast, and you're strong. You can easily outrun any walkers, so you run away and get somewhere safe."

"But what if there's lots of them?" Judith asked.

"Well, if you can't run away, then you call for help."

"What if no one hears me?" Judith asked.

"If no one can come help you, then you have to fight them."

"But they're big and really scary, and they try to bite everything," Judith explained.

"Yea, they are bigger than you, but you're smarter, right?" Carl asked.

Judith looked at Michonne and then back at Carl. "Yea, I'm smarter" she repeated.

"So you can think much faster than they can. All you have to do is make them fall down, and once they fall down, you can get away from them. You don't have to kill them, you just have to get away, and make sure they don't bite or scratch you."

"Okay" Judith said, nodding.

"Okay. So an easy way to make them fall down is to zigzag when you're running. You're really good at that. I've seen you do that a lot when you're playing tag."

"Yea, that's easy" Judith said, running between Carl and Michonne in a figure 8 motion to demonstrate her skills.

"That looks great" Michonne encouraged.

"Yea, just like that" Carl said. "Because walkers are big and slow, if you run and keep turning like that it might make them lose their balance and fall over."

"I can do that!" Judith said excitedly.

"Yea, you can" Carl said. "Okay I'm gonna pretend to be a walker, and you get away from me."

Carl stumbled towards Judith slowly, reaching his arms out to her and making his best impression of walker sounds.

Judith laughed and stared at her brother, not attempting to get away.

"You'd better run" Michonne said, "he's gonna get you."

Judith let Carl get close enough to almost grab her, and then she spun away from him, dodging him. Carl began to stumble after her in a new direction, and Judith quickly spun behind him and evaded him again.

"That's it Judith! Get away from that walker," Michonne cheered. Carl started to move a little faster, to make it more difficult for Judith. He began reaching for her and trying to grab her t-shirt. Judith accepted the challenge, faking Carl out and zooming off in a new direction whenever he tried to grab her. Seeing that Judith was getting more confident, Michonne joined in.

"Okay, now you have two walkers, Peanut," Michonne called, letting out a fierce walker growl and stumbling after Judith. She and Carl tried to box Judith into a corner, but she surprised both of them by ducking underneath their arms to get away. They chased Judith around the yard for a few more minutes until Rick poked his head out the back yard door and watched his family in amusement.

"Daddy save me!" Judith called, laughing hysterically as Carl caught hold of her t-shirt but she deftly snatched it out of his hand.

"I think you're handling yourself too well" Rick said with a laugh. "I think you need one more walker. Grrrrrrr!" Rick said, stumbling to join the rest of them.

Judith squealed in glee as Rick, Michonne and Carl came after her. Just when they almost pinned her against a gate, she dove underneath Rick's legs in a move that surprised the three of them.

"Judes, that was awesome!" Carl said, impressed at his sister's moves.

"I got away! You didn't catch me!" Judith taunted gleefully.

"You're right, I think you're a little too good at this game" Rick agreed. "You definitely outsmarted all three of us."

Judith beamed proudly as her family continued to reap praise on her.

"I think self defense lessons are complete for today" Carl declared. "Both of you kicked butt. Until next time."

"Thanks Carl" Michonne said. "I feel so much better, you have no idea." Michonne then used her chin to point at Judith, who had continued to be chased by Rick. Letting him come close enough to pick her up, and then deftly repeating her slide move between his legs and ending up behind him.

"I know she does too" Michonne said, nodding at the little girl and her father.

 *****can08writer*****

Although Michonne had experienced few symptoms when she was outside running around with Carl, Rick, and Judith, a few hours later her nausea had returned with a vengeance. Rick was concerned.

"You haven't seen Rosita in a few days. I think you should get another check-up," Rick said. "I'll take you over there. I know she's at the infirmary right now."

"Yea, okay" Michonne agreed, concerned about the progression of this one symptom. She barely had headaches anymore, but her stomach was becoming more and more unruly.

"You want me to go in with you?" Rick offered.

"No, it's okay. You can go visit Daryl, I know you didn't get to talk to him since he came back. When I'm done I'll just go back home."

Rick looked at her skeptically. "You sure? I can come back and walk home with you."

"No, I'm fine. Really," Michonne said, placing a hand on Rick's chest. Rick took the hand and placed a kiss on it.

"I'll stop by on my way back from Daryl's, see if you're still here."

Michonne smiled and nodded. "Okay, fine."

Rick waited on the porch until she'd entered the infirmary, and then left once she was inside.

Rosita was lying on the couch in the infirmary's waiting room reading a book when Michonne entered.

"Hey" Michonne said in greeting, "sorry to disturb you."

"Hey Michonne, no problem!" Rosita said, sitting up. "Is everything okay?"

"Uh, I'm not sure" Michonne said.

Rosita patted to the space next to her on the couch, and Michonne nervously sat down.

"What's going on? More Rick questions?" Rosita asked.

"No, Rick is fine. He's great actually. He's really kind of perfect," Michonne said, shaking her head slightly, "no complaints with Rick. I'm here because I've been really nauseous lately. I was in the beginning, but its gotten way worse."

Rosita looked concerned. "And your head? Are you getting dizzy before you get nauseous?"

"No, actually my head has been fine lately. I mean, I get small headaches but it's nothing major. My main problem is the nausea, and I've been feeling really tired."

"Okay, let me check you out" Rosita said, leading Michonne to the exam room. She did the neurological tests again, checked Michonne's blood pressure, and even checked her blood sugar with a portable machine that they were lucky enough to find.

"Everything seems normal" Rosita said. "Even the bump and the bruising on your head has completely gone away."

"So what could it be?" Michonne asked. "I mean, I've been trying to keep vegetarian because that's what I was used to before, but Rick told me I've been eating meat for years now. Maybe that's it? My sudden shift in diet?"

"It could be. Maybe you can slowly start adding some meat to your diet? See if that helps?"

The thought of eating meat again turned Michonne's stomach. "I can't, not until I get this nausea under control. Poor Rick and Carl can't even cook meat in the house with me there. The smell of it makes me sick."

"The smell of meat cooking makes you sick?" Rosita asked suspiciously.

"Yea, that and the manure smell. Is there any nausea medication you can give me?"

Rosita stared at Michonne for a few seconds and then her eyes got wide as a thought came to her.

"Michonne, is there a chance you could be pregnant?" Rosita asked.

Michonne blinked at Rosita for a few moments and wrinkled her forehead.

"No. Rick and I haven't… we haven't even kissed," Michonne said, blood rushing to her cheeks. It was embarrassing considering the entire town knew they were married and had been married for four years.

"Yea, you guys haven't in the past week, but before that?" Rosita asked.

Just as fast as the blood rushed to Michonne's cheeks, it now drained from them.

"Wh-what?" Michonne asked.

"I mean, maybe Rick should be the one to answer that question, but from your symptoms, it sounds really similar to early pregnancy."

Michonne was floored. That hadn't even crossed her mind. Why would it have crossed her mind. To her knowledge she hadn't ever had sex with Rick.

Michonne swayed slightly, and Rosita grabbed her elbow and helped her into a chair in the exam room.

"I know what I'm saying is coming as a shock to you" Rosita said, watching Michonne who was staring at the wall, her eyes flicking back and forth a mile a minute. "I know it's not what you might've expected, but we can rule that possibility out right now. I have a pregnancy test."

"I… how could I… he didn't tell me. He didn't tell me I was pregnant," Michonne faltered.

"Maybe he didn't know" Rosita said softly, squatting down in front of the chair to get closer to Michonne. "If you want to know right now, you can take it here with me. Or, if you want to bring it home and take it with Rick there…"

"I… don't know" Michonne said, still in shock. She placed her right hand on her abdomen and pressed gently. She didn't feel any life in there. She thought maybe if she pressed harder she'd get some clue. She pushed down harder, and Rosita grabbed her hand and pulled it away.

"Michonne, if you are, it's probably very early. You won't be able to feel it yet. Maybe you didn't know you were pregnant before the accident, either."

Michonne sighed and buried her face in her hands. Then, like someone turned on a faucet, the tears began to pour.

"I can't do this. I barely know what's going on. This is too much. I've had a new family for a week and now I might have a new baby on the way? I'm still dealing with Andre, and Mike, and the rest of my… the rest of my world. What if I can't do this?"

"Michonne" Rosita said, waiting for her to look up before she continued. "We don't know for sure. We don't know what this is. But we could know. Right now. If you want to."

Michonne took a deep breath and then wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Rosita got up to pass her a few tissues to clean up her face.

"What do you want to do Michonne?" Rosita asked.

"Can you give me a test?" Michonne asked. "I'm… I'm gonna take it home."

Rosita nodded and went through the cabinets until she found the small cardboard box. She put it into a cloth pouch to make it discreet, and handed it to Michonne.

Michonne took another deep breath and stood from the chair. "Thanks Rosita" Michonne said. "Thanks for just… being there."

"No problemo" Rosita replied, pulling Michonne into a hug. "And if you need help with talking to Rick, or you need someone to sit with you for the test, or… if you need anything, I'm here."

Michonne swallowed so that she wouldn't burst into tears again, and nodded her head. She then turned and walked out of the infirmary doors.

 *****can08writer*****

"So I spoke to Daryl," Rick said excitedly as the family ate dinner. "He said you didn't remember the bet you made with him, but you bet that if he went to Oceanside and asked Lorna to marry him, she would. You probably don't remember who Lorna is, but Daryl has been crushing on her for two years. Traveling to Oceanside every chance he gets to see her. Well, she said yes. So that's why he gave you those hair shells," Rick explained.

"Daryl is getting married?" Carl asked excitedly. "Woah, I did not see that coming, but that explains why he's always going to Oceanside."

"Yay! Can I be Uncle Daryl's flower girl?" Judith asked enthusiastically.

"I'm sure he wouldn't have it any other way" Rick said with a nod. "I think they're aiming for next month, it's gonna be at Oceanside."

"Oh cool, I haven't been to the beach in forever," Carl said with a nod.

"And Judith, you've never been there before" Rick said. "This is gonna be exciting. Your first trip to the beach."

Judith was almost bouncing with amped up energy. She began to list all of the things she'd do at beach. All of the things she'd only read about in books but never experienced in real life. Rick smiled as his girl rattled on and on about sandcastles, and searching for shells, catching fish, and riding dolphins, but all the while Rick stared at Michonne.

She was pushing food around on her plate, barely eating anything.

"You okay?" Rick asked Michonne, interrupting Judith's monologue about how mermaids were friendly if you gave them gifts like forks and spoons.

His words startled Michonne and she looked up.

"Um… yea" she replied.

Michonne had been quiet since her trip to the infirmary, and Rick knew there had to be a connection. Did Rosita give her bad news? Was something wrong? He didn't get to talk to her alone, but he knew this couldn't wait.

Carl stared at Michonne for a little bit and then looked at Rick. He motioned to the backyard. He could tell his parents need to talk.

Rick nodded gratefully and Carl said "C'mon Judes, lets go catch some fireflies."

"Really?" Judith asked, "you never catch fireflies with me."

"Well, today is your lucky day. Let's go before they fly away."

"Okay!" Judith said, jumping up from her seat.

"Thank you Carl" Rick said, as his children headed to the back door.

Once they were gone, Rick turned to Michonne.

"So what happened at the infirmary?" Rick asked. "Is everything okay?"

Michonne didn't answer at once. She stared at the table between them for a few seconds, and Rick got increasingly nervous. Did Rosita say the brain injury was worse? Did she find something else?

Finally Michonne looked up at Rick, really looking into his eyes.

"Is there a possibility I could be pregnant?" Michonne asked softly.

The color dropped from Rick's face. "What?" he asked.

"Could I be pregnant?" Michonne asked again.

Rick's mouth dropped open for 15 seconds before he realized it and closed it again.

"I… I don't know… I mean… I guess you… you could be… I didn't know, you never told me anything. Are you?" he asked.

"I don't know" Michonne said, "but Rosita told me the symptoms say I might be."

Rick's mind flashed through all the symptoms. The excessive crying, the nausea, the fatigue. Of course those could've been pregnancy symptoms. But they also could be confused with the symptoms of a head injury. Still, he felt like he should've considered it. She never would have.

"I was holding it in all day, but I don't know for sure" Michonne said, tears starting in her eyes. "I was too scared to check."

Rick stood and pulled Michonne into his chest. He couldn't believe she was keeping something huge like that a secret all day.

"Why were you afraid to check?"

"I… I was in shock. Imagine if you were pregnant from someone you've never had sex with. I've never even slept in a bed with you, and now… everything is moving too fast. I haven't had time to cope and put away my old family, and maybe now I have a baby on the way."

"I understand that. I mean, not really, because I've never been in your situation, but I understand why you're shocked. I didn't know about this. I didn't know that it was a possibility. Not yet. We talked about having a baby, you wanted one. But we both agreed not to specifically _try_. We wanted it to happen naturally if it happened, and not stress ourselves out about _making_ it happen. You and I _both_ wanted this though," Rick explained, lifting her head to look at him.

"Either way, we're in this together. You will always have me to support you. You're my wife, and if you're pregnant, that's _our_ baby inside you. This baby was conceived in love, and will be part of a loving family, and everything will be okay. Okay?"

Michonne sniffled and then wiped her face determinedly.

"Will you go with me, to check?" she asked.

"Of course," Rick said.

Michonne grabbed Rick's hand and the two of them went upstairs to the bathroom in their bedroom. Michonne took the test, and then let Rick in, the two of them holding hands and taking a seat on the lip of the bathtub. Rick continuously rubbed Michonne's fingers as she nervously tapped her foot on the linoleum floor. After a few minutes, it was time to check.

"Do you want me to do it?" Rick asked. Michonne could barely nod she was shaking so badly.

Rick went to the counter and lifted the test up so he could see it better. He read the screen, and for a moment he paused and closed his eyes.

He then turned to Michonne with the brightest smile and said, "I'm gonna be a daddy."

Michonne burst into tears and Rick immediately took her into his arms and cuddled her, kissing her cheeks and hair, rubbing her back, and holding her as tightly as he dared.

"This is going to be a good thing," he said softly. "This is good. You'll see."

 _ **Author's Note**_ _ **: Thank you for the reviews! And those of you who spent the time to tell me the quotes that you liked, or the theories that you have, or your favorite parts, or those of you who asked me questions like 'is Michonne pregnant?' because you're just so perceptive that you picked up on all the little hints that I gave, thank you, thank you, thank you. Every word is appreciated and looked forward to. The Richonne fandom is simply the best.**_


	8. Chapter 8

Michonne awoke alone in her bed, but she could hear muffled sounds coming from downstairs. She recognized it as Judith laughing, and the clangs of pots and pans. A smile spread across Michonne's lips even as her eyes remained closed. She'd come to love the sounds of her new family moving about the house. Each of them had a different sound.

Rick's footsteps were hard and heavy, especially when he was wearing his boots. He wasn't trying to walk hard, but she could always hear his clomping when he was home.

Carl's walk was lighter than his father, but it also had a stomp and shuffle. She could easily tell the difference between the two because Carl often dragged his feet.

Judith's steps were quick, light, and airy as if she were bouncing. And her giggles always brought joy to Michonne's heart.

She pushed herself up from the bed and stretched, cracking the muscles in her back. Her muscles had been a little more sore lately, but now it was more understandable why that was. She slipped her feet into the soft, fuzzy, slippers that Rick had found for her, and she smiled again.

It was rough for a few days after she'd found out about her surprise pregnancy. Rick had been wonderful, reassuring her, taking care of her in any way that he could, proving to her that everything would be okay, and that she could make it through this, and she had begun to believe him.

The kids, although they were still unaware of their impending sibling, saw that their father was trying overtime to make Michonne happy, and saw that Michonne was feeling more and more sick, especially in the mornings. Each of them had chipped in to cheer her up.

Judith had painted Michonne a new picture every day. Rainbows, trees, people, and ponies were all stuck to the refrigerator. Carl had practiced the katana with Michonne each morning he was available, if she wasn't feeling too nauseous. She'd improved with her weapon to the point where she was using scarecrows made of hay to practice head impalements. Rick was usually watching, concerned, from the windows and doorways, and she could always feel when he was. She knew he worried about her, so she'd occasionally give a wink or smile in his direction when he thought he was spying without her knowledge.

Regardless of how she felt about the pregnancy, and she still wasn't sure how she felt about it all, she knew how the family felt about her. They loved her. She could feel it with every smile, hug, and kiss. And she knew that she loved them too. Even without all the memories, she could feel it in her heart, in her soul. Being with them felt right.

When it came to Rick, whenever she saw him, a warm feeling settled in her belly. She could see him trying so hard to make things okay for her. He was trying to love her while giving her space to think, to deal, to adjust, and to grieve. She knew it wasn't easy. She knew he had to be feeling as unsure as she was, but he was trying his hardest to accept her as she was, and it made her love him immensely. She had to accept the fact that he was her husband. When she'd still had her memories, she'd chosen him. And he was the father of her developing baby.

She had to admit, Rick was growing on her more and more each day. She was attracted to his loving personality as well as his appearance. But she hadn't made a move on him. It wasn't because of him, it was her. She was putting a block on her heart, and she knew why. She had to put away her old family.

Over the past few days she was ashamed to say she missed Mike less and less. It had settled in her soul that he was gone. But Andre… her mind accepted she would never see him again, but her heart was having trouble letting go of her little boy. She wanted to let him go, the way she had in the past. And she knew she had to talk to Rick about how she was going to do that.

Stretching, she rolled out of bed, slipped into a second pair of Rick's boxers she'd found in her drawer, and made her way downstairs to have breakfast with her family.

 *****can08writer*****

Rick seemed surprised when Michonne asked him to go with her on a walk after breakfast. He strolled next to her, slightly avoiding eye contact, and looking uncomfortable. Michonne wasn't sure what he was thinking, but she wanted to ease his mind.

"I um… I wanted to talk to you about something. Away from the kids," she began, breaking the awkward silence between them as they made their way through Alexandria's partially paved streets.

Rick turned to her quickly, concern darkening his face as he leaned in. "Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

"No. No, nothing's wrong," Michonne reassured him.

"You're feeling okay? Is it the nausea?" Rick asked, his brow wrinkling. He stopped underneath the shade of a large tree, and Michonne stopped next to him, nervously biting her lip.

"Yes Rick, I'm okay. I promise."

"So what is it?" he asked, trying to stare into her eyes.

"I… I never thanked you" Michonne said, briefly looking at the ground. A sudden feeling of deja vu came over her. She felt like she'd said that to him before.

"For what?" Rick asked, even more confused.

"For taking care of me. For being so patient with me. I was thinking about how hard this has been for me, but I know it's been even harder for you." Michonne bit her lip and dragged her eyes up to his. He was staring at her, his blue eyes boring into hers.

"You lost the wife you knew, and through it all you've been… perfect is the only word I can think of right now. I know why I loved you before the accident. I know why I fell in love with you. I want to remember all the little things, and maybe that will come with time, but until that happens, I want to try to be your wife again. I want to be a good mother to our kids, and to our baby. But there's something stopping me."

Rick was hanging on Michonne's every word, barely blinking. He knew she was trying, and he wanted to do everything he could to help her heal.

"What is it?" Rick asked, gently grabbing Michonne's hand.

"I have to bury Andre and Mike" she explained with a nod. "It'll… It'll help me, to let them go. And after that… after that…"

Michonne sighed, unable to find the words to complete her sentence. Instead, she squeezed Rick's hand and brought it up to her mouth, pressing her lips against the back.

Rick's eyes opened wide in surprise and then softened. He wrapped his arms around Michonne and pressed her body to his, kissing her forehead.

"Then that's what we'll do," he confirmed.

 *****can08writer*****

She'd been thinking about what she would actually bury. She had nothing of Mike or Andre's. She had no real reminders of them, except what was left in her head, so she sat down at the dining room table and began to write.

She wrote two letters, one saying goodbye to Mike, and the other to her baby boy, Andre. Andre's letter was the longest, as she recapped all of the things she remembered about raising him. All of the funny things he did and the sweet things he'd said. All of the memories that she'd keep in her heart forever, and all of the things she'd learned from having the privilege of being his mother.

She'd spent hours at the table, and as she wrote, she was almost in a trance-like state, so she was surprised when it finally dawned on her that she was alone in the house. She got up and went to the back door, to see Rick, Carl, and Judith all relaxing on the rocking bench on the back porch. Michonne put her letters into her pocket and joined the group.

"Here Mommy," Judith said, offering Michonne something in her hand when she'd sat next to her on the bench.

"Oh, what's this?" Michonne asked, opening her palm to receive what Judith gave her.

Michonne looked into her hand and saw it was one of the wildflowers that was growing in their backyard.

Michonne smiled at Judith. "Thank you honey, it's pretty."

"It's not for you," Judith said seriously. "It's for Andre. For the Andre box."

Michonne stared at Judith in shock. "What?" she asked softly.

"Daddy said to give you something Andre might like, so I picked a flower to put in his box," Judith explained. "Do you think he'd like it?"

Michonne was speechless. She was overwhelmed with the kindness of her daughter, for a boy she'd never even met.

"He would… love… that" Michonne choked out, on the verge of tears. "Peanut… that's so… kind of you." Michonne's face contorted into an ugly cry, and she wrapped her arms around Judith tightly, pressing her to herself. "Thank you Jellybean."

Judith patted Michonne on the back while she hugged her.

"Carl has something for Andre too," Judith said, never one to keep a secret.

Michonne looked up at Carl in surprise. He rolled his eyes in annoyance at Judith, and then looked at Michonne sheepishly. He held up a simple toy car, made from a small block of wood, attached to four wooden wheels. He stood and pressed it into her hands.

"I've had this for a while in my room. I think Andre might've thought it was cool," he explained.

Michonne was beyond controlling her emotions. She reached out to Carl and pulled him in to her, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you Carl," she whispered in his ear. Carl nodded and allowed Michonne to hold him. After a few seconds she let go, wiping at her eyes.

"Thank you, both of you," Michonne said, taking another deep breath. "Andre would have loved both of your presents."

The next day, Rick, and Michonne made their way through the high grass to the edge of one of the back fields in Alexandria. The wind was blowing through the grass, making the plants sway from side to side in ripples, like an ocean of green. Carl followed a few steps behind them. Rick carried a shovel, and Michonne clutched a small shoe box, that contained Judith's flower, Carl's toy car, and Michonne's letters. There was a solemnity to it all, as if it were really a funeral. Michonne felt like she was holding the remains of her family in her hands.

"There," she said, pointing to a spot up against the gate.

Rick silently began digging, the only sound was the dirt sliding past itself as it rolled back into the hole after each of Rick's shovel fulls. Michonne watched silently, her fingers wrapped around the shoebox, her eyes staring unfocused on the grass around her. Carl stood by her side, watching his father without comment. They knew this moment was significant for Michonne, and they were going to let her lead the way in terms of how to deal with this.

Rick dug until the hole was large enough to fit the shoebox. When he was done he stood, brushing dirt from his hands and pants, and he walked over to Michonne and Carl, silently waiting for her to make the next move.

Michonne stood stationary in front of the hole for a few seconds. In some ways she didn't want to move. She didn't want to bury this box, this representative of her life before. She didn't want to let go of her old family, her old way of life. Burying the box didn't mean she was forgetting Andre and Mike, but she knew it might help her put them to rest, and she was afraid to do that.

Michonne bit her lip to hold back tears that were welling up in them. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then slowly let the breath out through her nose.

She pictured Andre's face, the way she last remembered him. His large brown eyes flashing with joy, his mouth open in a wide smile showing his round baby teeth. His short afro surrounding his head like a halo. His chubby fingers reaching for her face as his giggle echoed in the air.

' _Come on Mommy, let's play.'_

Michonne's eyes snapped open and focused on the empty hole again. Andre was free now. She hoped he was happy, but he was gone.

She slowly approached the hole while Rick and Carl watched nervously. Carefully, she kneeled in front of it and touched the dirt, letting the loose soil flow through her fingers. She pushed the box into the hole and froze again, tears tumbling down her cheeks. Rick wanted to go to her and comfort her, but he knew that this part, coming to grips with what she'd lost, she had to do it alone.

Carl had his arms folded, unsure of what to do with them. He hated to see Michonne so grief stricken, so sad. She'd told him about Andre and Mike before she'd told anyone else, and he'd kept her secret until it wasn't a secret anymore. He didn't want her to suffer the way she was now, but he hoped that in the long run she could get past this, the way she had before.

Michonne used her hands to push the dirt over the box, burying her letters to the two most important people in her life. She swept the dirt into the hole, until the box was completely covered, and the dirt stained her hands brown.

Carl looked up when he heard Michonne whispering something. He couldn't make out the words, and knew he wasn't meant to. Whatever she was saying was directed towards Mike and Andre. The way the words flowed, Carl could tell she wasn't speaking English. Maybe it was French.

Carl looked at Rick and his face looked as surprised as Carl felt. Neither of them had ever heard her speak French before.

When she was done, Michonne stood and wrapped her arms around herself. She stood there for a few seconds, and finally turned back around to face Rick and Carl. Tear stains made paths down both cheeks, and they were well fed from the deep wells of water in her eyes. Her bottom lip was trembling, and without warning her back curved in her grief.

Rick was there first, hugging her so fiercely that her feet left the ground for a few seconds before returning back to Earth. He ran his hands down her hair, cupping the back of her neck and pushing it towards his shoulder.

Soon, Carl was on her as well, wrapping his arms around her back and resting his head on the back of her shoulder.

Michonne was overwhelmed by the love her husband and son showed her. She placed her left hand on the patch of curly hair just on the back of Rick's neck, slowly running her fingers through it, and she reached around behind her with her right hand and found one of Carl's hands, firmly clasping it. With her eyes still closed and resting on Rick's shoulder, she said loud enough for both of them to hear, "Thank you."

 *****can08writer*****

"Carl said I'm so fast I could outrun ten walkers!" Judith announced at the dinner table that evening.

"I see that sweetheart" Rick agreed with a nod. "You've definitely gotten much better getting away from walkers."

"Daddy, you know what would get me away from walkers really fast?" Judith asked, seemingly setting him up for something, but Rick was distracted and only half listening to the conversation, so he walked right into it.

"What's that?" He asked.

"A pony," Judith declared.

Carl bust out laughing and Michonne couldn't help but smile at how well Judith laid the trap for her father.

"I've been helping Carl clean the stables, and you said if I did I could get a pony, daddy," Judith reminded him.

"You have been helping Carl, and I said maybe. I'm still thinking about it."

"Well how long do you have to think?" Judith asked with a pout.

Michonne couldn't help but love how persistent this tiny girl was.

"I don't know yet Judith, but when I do, I will let you know."

Judith pouted again and shoved a spoonful of mashed potatoes into her mouth. She knew better than to push the subject.

There was a silence as they ate, and Michonne looked over at Rick. He was looking handsome in a blue button down shirt. His curly hair was raked back, and his salt and pepper beard was looking sexy. Her eyes traced a trail down his tanned neck to his hard chest, visible through the top button of his shirt. She felt a stirring inside of her that was inappropriate at the dinner table.

She was ready to make some steps towards being the old Michonne again. Being intimate with Rick again was one of those steps. One she was secretly looking forward to. But the _first_ step was sharing the big news, at least with the children.

"Well, I… we… your father and I… have something to tell you guys," Michonne began.

Carl looked up in semi-interest, and Judith continued playing with her mashed potatoes.

"We're going to have a baby."

Carl's eye widened, and Rick's head snapped to Michonne. He didn't expect her to blurt it out at the table.

"A baby?!" Judith shouted.

"What?" Carl asked.

"Yes, a baby. We just found out a little while ago."

Carl's head snapped to his father, and Rick's cheeks turned red.

"Yay! A baby!" Judith said, leaping from her chair and throwing her arms around Michonne's neck.

Michonne was surprised at Judith's happy reaction. She was worried she would be less than thrilled about it.

"Where is it?" Judith asked, looking around as if it would magically appear in front of them. "Is someone gonna bring it?"

Michonne chuckled and looked at Rick. "You're gonna have to explain that one to her," she said.

"A baby?" Carl asked again. "That's… that's cool, I guess. But aren't you too old dad?"

Rick swiveled his head around to glare at Carl. He scoffed. "Too old? Obviously not."

"Mommy, when the baby gets here do I have to take care of it?" Judith asked Michonne skeptically.

"No. Not if you don't want to. But it would be nice if you can help me with it sometimes," Michonne said.

"Too old…" Rick mumbled under his breath, still annoyed at Carl's comment.

"When is it gonna get here? _How_ is it gonna get here?" Judith asked, obviously confused about this whole process.

Michonne looked at Rick for some help in explaining this to Judith, but he was still in a huff, and Carl was trying to hold back a snicker.

"The baby is growing inside of me right now," she clarified, "but in a few months it will get so big you'll be able to see it pushing out of my belly."

Judith's face turned to horror. "It just grows inside of you? It lives in your belly? How? That sounds like it hurts. That's weird."

"Yep, weird but true. But until it gets big enough, you won't even know its there."

"Is it a boy baby or a girl baby?" Judith asked Rick, who was finally paying attention to the conversation again.

"We probably won't know until its born," he answered. After the death of Dr. Carson, no one else knew how to accurately read a sonogram machine. And the last time it was turned on it had malfunctioned and no one knew how to fix it. It became a skill that was lost to the past, unless they found another doctor somehow.

"Will it look like you? Or will it look like daddy?" Judith asked.

"I think it will look like us both" Rick said, smiling at Michonne as he pictured his future child in his head.

"If I want one, can I have a baby?" Judith asked, still staring suspiciously at Michonne's abdomen.

"I thought you wanted a pony?" Carl teased her.

"I want both" Judith said with a shrug.

"When you're married," Rick cut in harshly.

Michonne bust out laughing, and Carl rolled his eyes.

"Smooth, dad" Carl teased.

"That goes for you, too" Rick said in warning, and Carl rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"On that note, I'm gonna head out. I'm really happy for you dad, and Michonne. Having another little brother or sister will be cool. But that just means I'll have to move out sooner rather than later."

"What? You were planning on moving out?" Michonne asked, taken aback.

"Guys, I'm 18. You're about to have another baby. There's a lack of space in here and it's time I start finding my own way. I mean, I'll try to see where there's space. We're still building the new houses, maybe I can find something here, or even at another town. Hilltop, or the Kingdom, or even Oceanside. Daryl will be there anyway…"

Rick turned a shade lighter. "Carl, we never… you didn't mention this before. Why do you need to leave now? You're still young to be on your own, especially in another town…"

"Dad, I don't want to talk about this now. I don't want to ruin your moment. You and Michonne are happy and I want to keep it that way. Congratulations on the baby."

Carl came over to Michonne, wrapping her in a hug. "I think this is good for you two," he said with a nod, and Michonne couldn't help but think of him as a kid much wiser than his years.

He waved goodbye and was out the door within seconds.

"Well, I think that went surprisingly well," Rick said.

Michonne shared a smile with him and then looked down at Judith who was staring at Michonne's belly strangely.

"What is it, Peanut?" Michonne asked her.

"If I look in your belly button, could I see the baby in there?" she asked seriously.

Both of Michonne's eyebrows shot up and she laughed explosively, being caught completely off guard. Rick joined in, shaking his head.

"What?" Judith asked, confused.

 *****can08writer*****

Rick had night watch duty that night, and Carl was out, so Michonne was left home with Judith for a girl's night. After the announcement at dinner, Judith had so many questions for Michonne about the baby, including if she got pregnant when she fell off her horse. Michonne wished Rick was there for the inquisition. Honestly, in some ways she felt just like Judith, unsure of when and how all of this happened.

Before Rick left, he'd checked in with her again. They hadn't had much time to discuss her feelings after burying the box, or what that meant for them as a couple, but he pressed his forehead to hers and told her they'd talk about it soon.

An hour or so after Rick left, the rain started. A soft drizzle at first, it steadily increased into a storm with thunder, lightning, and a torrential downpour.

Michonne was sitting in a reclining chair in the living room, with Judith on her lap, as she read a story by candlelight. When she got to the end, she kissed Judith on the head.

"Okay Peanut, time for bed" she said softly.

"Mommy it's thunder outside. I'm scared" she said.

"Thunder is nothing to be afraid of," Michonne said, blowing out the candle and lifting Judith up on to her hip as if she weighed 10 pounds. The girl was getting too big to be carried, but Michonne figured she might as well enjoy the last few months of being able to lift her.

"I'm not afraid of thunder, mommy, I'm afraid of walkers" Judith explained. "It's loud, what if it makes the walkers come here?"

Michonne froze for a moment in amazement. Judith's fear was real and logical. It was a shock that kids in this world weren't afraid of things that couldn't actually hurt them, they were afraid of the very real things that could.

"Walkers won't come here," Michonne stated, placing Judith down in front of her bed.

"How do you know?" Judith asked, the whites of her eyes reflected in the moonlight of her open bedroom window, the only light in the dark room.

"Because the thunder is in the sky everywhere, not just on our town, so it won't draw them here," Michonne said, trying to be logical. Judith looked at her skeptically.

"And also, your daddy is on watch duty. He'll make sure none get through the gate" Michonne assured.

That final sentence seemed to calm Judith slightly and she nodded.

"C'mon, get into bed sleepy head" Michonne said, pulling back the covers.

"Don't leave me mommy. Stay with me, please?" Judith asked, her eyes wide again.

Michonne smiled, nodded, and climbed into bed next to her daughter. "Go to sleep," Michonne commanded.

Judith closed her eyes, relieved that her mother was there with her. She grabbed on to Michonne's shirt so that she couldn't sneak out after she fell asleep, laid her head on Michonne's chest, and closed her eyes. She was asleep within minutes.

Michonne smiled when she realized Judith was already sleeping. She looked out the open window from her spot on the bed, watching the rain come pounding down over the town. Her thoughts turned to Rick, who was outside keeping watch over them all. She hoped there was a rain shelter for the lookouts. The staccato drumming of the raindrops hitting the roof was hypnotizingly relaxing for Michonne, and she allowed her exhaustion to take hold for just a moment, closing her eyes. Just like that, she was asleep.

 *****can08writer*****

Rick entered his home in the early hours of the day. The sun hadn't risen yet, and the streets, houses, and foliage were all wet and muddy. So was he. He was soaked down to his underwear. The shelter for lookouts was in no way waterproof, and it was raining so hard during the night that every small crack leaked. He wanted nothing more than to take these soggy clothes off and get into a warm bed.

As expected, it was silent in the house. He left his muddy boots by the door, and kicked off his wet socks, careful not to leave them on the floor. He and Michonne had gotten into plenty of disagreements over that in the past.

He snuck up the steps and went to check Judith's room before bed. He pushed the door open and felt a warmth in his heart when he saw his girls curled up together underneath Judith's blankets. Judith was holding on to Michonne in a vice grip, but Michonne was holding her back just as firmly. Rick knew Judith was always nervous during thunderstorms, and this wasn't the first time Michonne had slept in the bed with her when it rained.

Seeing that they were safe, Rick slowly backed out of the room, but Michonne's eyes snapped open to catch him. He lifted a hand to let her know everything was okay and he was going to bed, but her eyes wandered slowly up and down his body.

Michonne was shocked to see Rick standing in Judith's room, soaked to the bone. Water was dripping from his hair, and his jeans were almost falling off from being so heavy with rainwater. He was also trembling slightly from being cold.

She deftly unhooked Judith's fingers from her shirt, and extracted herself from the sleeping girl, who even in her slumber seemed to pout from the sudden loss of warmth.

Michonne followed Rick out of the room.

"Hey, I just wanted to check in. Make sure y'all were okay. I'm gonna go take a shower and get to..."

Suddenly, Michonne interrupted him with a kiss. Her lips pressed against his with a power that made him go weak in the knees. A jolt went straight to his brain as her soft pillow like lips encompassed his. He lost all thought. The kiss was just a peck, but afterwards he had no idea what he had been planning to do before it happened.

"Come on," she said, holding his hand and leading him to their bedroom.

Rick followed without another word.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author's Note**_ _ **: This chapter has a sex scene. It's also a really long chapter. I hope you enjoy! **_

Michonne led Rick into the dark bedroom, his clothing making a squishing sound as he moved. After he entered behind her, Michonne went back to the door, closed and locked it, and then faced him.

Rick stood staring at her, unsure of what would be happening next, but down for whatever. She gazed at him for a moment, only his outline showing against the backdrop of the open blinds of the bedroom window. The town below them was black except for a torch lit here or there in the street for safety reasons, but the moon was bright now that the rain had stopped.

Using the moonlight as her guide, Michonne took a few steps towards Rick's silhouette. When she reached him, she silently placed her hands on his chest, and could feel his soaked shirt. She couldn't see his face in the dark, but his eyes rolled shut when she touched him.

She carefully felt her way down his shirt, unbuttoning as she went. Once the shirt was open, she slid her hands underneath it, and pushed it off of him at his shoulders, causing the shirt to slide to the floor with a wet plop.

Wasting no time, Michonne's hands slid down the front of Rick's body, exploring the slight indentation of muscle going down the front of his chest and abdomen, until she reached the top of his pants and his belt.

Rick couldn't stop the rush of blood to his lower regions if he tried, but Michonne didn't seem fazed as her eyes focused on Rick's soaked pants. She made short work of his belt, and opened the buttons of his jeans, taking her time as she torturously unzipped them.

Rick was shocked at how far she was going. It seemed like just yesterday that she was uncomfortable touching him, and now she was undressing him.

"Michonne, are you…" Rick began, but she promptly placed a finger on his lips.

"Yes," she said softly.

Once his pants were unzipped, she pushed them down and away from his body. She knelt down on the floor and lifted each of his legs, helping him step out of them. Rick wanted to stop her and remind her that she was pregnant and she shouldn't be helping him, he should be helping her. Michonne sensed he was going to protest and before he could get a word out, she shushed him.

He was now only in his wet boxers. Michonne stood back up and stared at what she could see of him. Because of his lighter skin reflecting the moonlight, she could see more of him now without his clothes on, and she was impressed with what she could see. He was in great shape. His body was smooth and fit, and she could feel the muscles rippling just under his skin. Damn he was sexy. Sexier than she'd even imagined.

She placed her hands on his muscular shoulders again, and slowly ran her fingers down his arms, causing goosebumps to prickle up on his skin. He gave a shiver, but it didn't stop her from her task of exploring his body.

Silently, she ran her hands back up his neck, and felt the patch of wet hair that sat right behind his ears. Somehow it felt familiar, running her fingers through his hair. It felt like home.

Rick pressed his forehead against Michonne's as she continued to rub the nape of his neck. She seemed to be taking her time, and that was just fine with him, but he was getting colder by the minute. His teeth had begun to chatter slightly.

Noticing, Michonne slid her hands down his arms and clasped his hands, leading him into the bathroom.

The bathroom was darker than the bedroom, but Michonne quickly remedied that by lighting candles that were placed strategically in the room for when they had to take late night showers. They cast an orange glow throughout the room, and in that glow she could see Rick even better now.

His pink nipples were standing out against his suntanned skin. His damp hair was plastered to his forehead. He looked cold, he looked tired, but he looked like he wanted her, and she could feel a yearning in her body for him. Like he was the answer to some question she didn't know she was asking.

With the room illuminated, she could better see the expression on his face. His lips were swollen and pink, his eyes were focused and calculating, sweeping up and down her body unashamedly. His cheeks were flushed. Everything about his expression read lust, and it was so intense she paused for a moment, suddenly unsure of herself.

She had wanted to take control. To take care of him the way he'd taken care of her for the past month. To reward him for everything he'd done for her. But the look she got from him was a man who wanted to take charge, and she realized she wanted to let him.

"Come here," he commanded, his voice low in a growl. All hints of tiredness and cold were suddenly gone.

Slowly, Michonne made her way towards Rick. She couldn't help but notice the large bulge in his wet boxer shorts. The two of them made eye contact until she was right in front of him.

"You ready for this?" Rick asked softly. Michonne answered by boldly sticking her hands between the elastic of his boxers and his skin, pulling them down, and releasing his hard member.

Rick sucked in a breath in surprise, but recovered quickly, lifting Michonne off the ground and pressing her into him. He was completely naked now, but she was clothed in one of his t-shirts and a pair of shorts. She wrapped her legs around his waist and held on as he planted rough kisses and bites to her neck. Every single one set her on fire, and she felt a throbbing numbness between her legs. She was aching for him.

"I've missed you Michonne. I've missed this," Rick said, continuing to kiss and lick her neck. "God, I want you."

Michonne tilted her head back, enjoying the attention he was giving to her upper body, but wanting some attention on her lower body as well. She began to grind herself against him. "I want you too Rick. Please," she begged.

His kisses traveled up her neck, across her cheeks, and to her face, finally reaching her mouth. He kissed her languidly, slowly, contrasting from the fast kisses he'd just given her. She opened her mouth to receive his warm tongue as he took his time exploring her lips, her tongue, and her mouth.

"Mmmmm" she moaned, almost falling from his grip in her eagerness to kiss him back. Rick recovered his hold on her, and placed her on the bathroom counter like a child. He pulled away and just stared at her in the candlelight.

"God, you're beautiful," he said in admiration, placing a palm on her cheek, and trailing his hand back through her locs, letting them flow through his fingers. She simply watched him and smiled as he silently took stock of every part of her. His inspection didn't make her feel nervous, or shy, at all. She had the feeling that being with Rick like this was right. It was what she needed.

"Put your arms up" he said. Obeying immediately, Michonne lifted her arms in the air. Rick placed a hand on each side of her abdomen, making her suck in a breath at the electricity of his touch. He slid his hands upwards, lifting her shirt until it was up to her shoulders. He then slid it over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra.

Rick immediately noticed her breasts were bigger than the last time he'd seen them, and he hadn't seen them in a month. He leaned down and took one into his mouth. Michonne let out a groan and grasped the back of his hair again.

"Does that hurt?" he asked, concerned that they may be sensitive.

"No. No. Do that again," Michonne gasped. Rick leaned down and took her breast again, letting his tongue circle around the nipple slowly.

Michonne had never liked men nibbling on her breasts before, but with Rick it was different. It was wonderful. His tongue sent a sensation through her body that led straight down to the junction between her legs. She didn't know why it was different with him, but it was.

As he continued his steady licks, his hand wandered from her hip, across to her abdomen where his baby was growing, and continuing south, until it reached her moist panties. He simply applied pressure to the place he knew was her spot, and her entire body arched.

"Agh!" Michonne jolted.

"Shhhh," Rick said with a smirk, and moved his tongue to meet hers again.

"Oh my… that felt…"

"Good?" Rick moaned cockily. He knew all of her spots, and he was planning on hitting them all tonight.

Michonne grabbed Rick's face in her hands and ran her thumb over his lips.

He reached around and underneath her, lifting her off the counter again and pressing her up against his bulge. Although his package felt hot, his face, back and shoulders were still chilly and slightly wet.

"You… you were… cold," Michonne tried to speak, but Rick's hands slowly squeezing her butt as he pressed himself into her was making her lose all coherent thought.

"Let's go warm me up then," Rick said, promptly carrying Michonne over to the shower. She was impressed by his strength. The way he could just lift her like it was nothing.

Rick put her down and slid his hands into the back of her shorts, the same way she did to his boxers. He slid the shorts off of her. His fingers, well versed in running the gamut of her body, found their way around her plump behind and across her slit.

"Rick!" Michonne hissed, jumping in surprise.

"Let me show you how much I know you," he moaned in her ear. "Let me do this."

Michonne rubbed her cheek against Rick in confirmation. She was agreeing to let go, and give this man full access to her body, and she was glad to do it.

Not missing a beat, Rick rubbed his fingers between her folds with one hand, while simultaneously nibbling on her neck, and turning on the shower with the other hand.

Cold water poured from the faucet, shocking both of them. Michonne jumped out of the way of the torrent, and Rick tensed up as he desperately turned the dial until it was on hot.

"Just some technical difficulties," Rick said sheepishly, and within seconds warm water was flowing from the shower head.

Michonne wasted no time, stepping back under the flow of water with a smile on her face.

"Mmmn" she groaned, when Rick's fingers picked up right where they left.

Michonne latched on to Rick's earlobe and began to bite and suck at it, as water poured down both of their bodies. Every touch, every movement from him sent pure pleasure through her.

She could feel herself on the verge of an orgasm already. She had never gotten to that point so fast with any of the men she'd been with. She'd faked orgasms before, or almost gotten there but wasn't pushed over the edge. But never in her life had she gotten to this point so fast.

"Rick I… I'm…" Michonne began, but his finger touched her clit and she lost her whole train of thought.

"Don't worry, this is the first of many tonight" Rick said softly, not having mercy on her in any way. He gently applied pressure to her clit, and Michonne went rigid, letting out a low moan.

"Come on, baby. Let me show you how good we are together" Rick whispered in her ear, as she writhed against him. He flicked her clit again, and copied the movement with his tongue in her mouth.

"Mmmnnn Rick, ahhh, yes..." Michonne moaned. She was so far gone she didn't know what to do with her hands, with her head, she didn't even know what she was saying.

Rick flicked and pressed on her clit one more time, and her body arched harshly as she reached her peak. He held her with his other arm when she fell back against the bathroom wall, panting with her eyes closed. The only sound was the tinkling of the now hot water as it hit the shower bottom. Michonne was still pressed against the wall trying to catch her breath, while Rick had his hands wrapped around her waist, keeping her upright.

When she could breathe, she chuckled with her eyes still closed.

"What's so funny?" Rick asked, pulling her in to him and caressing her soft buttocks as she recovered her strength. She happily rested against his chest.

"Nothing. It's just… I think that was the best sex I ever remember having, and we didn't even have sex," Michonne laughed.

Rick smiled and nuzzled her hair with his nose.

"Oh, that was an appetizer," Rick said into her ear. "Get ready for the main course."

After quickly washing each other's bodies and drying off, the two of them enthusiastically scurried back into their darkened bedroom.

Rick grabbed Michonne's hand and silently escorted her to their bed. She sat down gently on the edge and looked up at him as he stood in front of her and caressed her cheeks. Her eyes slowly moved from his face to his still hard dick that was almost poking her in the face. She examined it with her eyes as he watched, amused.

"I know you don't remember being with any white guys before, so how do I measure up?" he joked.

Michonne bust out laughing. "I think you know damn well how you measure up," she laughed.

"Maybe, but I like hearing you say it," Rick said, gently pushing her back on the bed, and placing his body on top of hers, taking care not to crush her abdomen.

"I think you know damn well that you're quite impressive. Even if you're too old to be getting me pregnant," Michonne joked, copying Carl's sentiment. Rick looked down into her smiling face and gave her a shocked look.

"That wasn't what you were saying the night you got pregnant," Rick shot back, and Michonne gave him her own shocked look.

"What was I saying then?" She asked, rolling her pelvis against his.

He leaned down and licked her neck, making her shudder. He didn't answer as he slowly moved down her body, licking, sucking, and nibbling as he went. He got to the spot just over her belly button and licked gently. The sensation made her arch in pleasure.

"Oh!" she moaned.

"Mmmhmm" Rick agreed, continuing to the next spot, the inside of her left thigh. He nuzzled his head there, Nipping at the sensitive skin.

"Rick, Rick oh my God," Michonne moaned, her toes curling as she involuntarily pushed her womanhood towards his face.

"Oh no, not yet," he teased, continuing his kissing further down her legs. Michonne couldn't move, she couldn't think. She wondered how he knew all of these spots that sent such extreme pleasure through her. Mike had found that spot in her inner thighs before, but it seemed like all the other spots Rick touched were new to her. They must've spent a lot of time having sex, she gathered. Rick made his way to her feet, and before she realized what he was doing, her toes were in his mouth.

"Shit. Yes. Rick, what the fuck. Yesssss."

She could only moan as his tongue flicked between her already arched toes, and he continued kissing and sucking on her feet. He stopped only to let out a short sentence.

"That's what you were saying that night."

Michonne was already dripping wet, and she knew Rick had to be on the verge of bursting. She wanted him to feel the pleasure he was enacting on her. Taking control of the situation, Michonne sat up suddenly, snatching her toes from Rick's lips. She grabbed him under his chin and pulled him on top of her once again. She wrapped her legs around his hips, and held his erect penis, rubbing it slowly three times before pressing her opening directly up against the hard rod. Without warning, she thrusted upwards, impaling herself on him.

"Fuck!" Rick let out, as his cock was engulfed in the warm stickiness that was her.

She pressed her legs around him harder, pushing him in deeper.

"Dammit, hold on Michonne, I… If you do it too fast I'll lose it."

"So lose it," she taunted, thrusting upwards again. "We have all night."

Taking her invitation, Rick placed his hands on either side of Michonne's head and completely entered her, both of them calling out.

"Shhh, shhh," Michonne warned him with a laugh. Her laugh soon disappeared as he began to rhythmically thrust into her in earnest, a serious expression on his face. She was trying to keep her eyes open, even though they instinctively closed on their own accord. She wanted to look at the blue pools that were staring down at her with love, lust, possession, dominance, and tenderness all at the same time.

She reached up and grabbed the back of Rick's neck, pulling him towards her even more, pushing him deeper into her. She could feel the pressure building again.

Rick, knowing he would lose it within minutes, lifted Michonne's leg and swiveled his hips. There was another spot that he knew would set her off first so he could finish after her.

"Ohhhhhhh" Michonne moaned, right when Rick's dick found the spot.

"Riiiiick… Oh…. yes right there!" she yelled, grasping the sheets, his hair, his shoulders, and then her own breasts, trying to hold on to anything in her vicinity. It felt like a pressure had built up in her head and her brain was about to explode.

Rick leaned all the way in to her, putting most of his weight in that spot.

"I know that's it right there. That's it, isn't it?" he asked, forcing his eyes open enough to watch her squirm in ecstasy.

"Yessssss" she moaned, and she began to shake violently.

"I'm… I'm…" she began, but she could no longer make coherent words as her whole body tensed. Rick swiveled his hips more deeply, and Michonne let out a long, deep moan. He placed his hands behind her head and watched, satisfied, as she came below him. Her chest heaving.

Before she could catch her breath, he continued thrusting, feeling the pressure build up inside of him as well. He hit a good rhythm, and now that she was done, she helped him along, rocking her hips to match him. Soon, he was shaking as well, flattening himself on top of Michonne to feel all of her as he emptied himself inside of her canal. Michonne wrapped her arms and legs around him, gently kissing the sides of his face as his fluid ran into her body. She didn't stop kissing him until he fell limp on top of her, out of breath.

They stayed that way, panting, for a few minutes. The only sound was that of their breathing. Rick eventually rolled on to his side, his arms never leaving Michonne's body. She happily moved closer to him, face to face, snuggling herself up against him. He smiled down at her, so grateful to have his wife back.

"I love you," she declared, looking into his eyes.

"I love you too Michonne," he responded, kissing her forehead. He slowly stroked her naked back, and then reached over to her belly, his large hand completely covering her abdomen. "I love you, and I love this baby. You, Judith, Carl, the baby, y'all are all I have. You mean the world to me. Everything," he emphasized, kissing her forehead again.

"I know," Michonne replied. "I know that now. You showed me that."

She lifted her head upwards and kissed Rick's lips, long and deep. Their kiss said all the things that they couldn't properly vocalize. Their kiss had all the reassurance both of them needed.

 _We're together now. We're the ones who live._

Michonne nuzzled her head into Rick's neck and he held her tighter, feeling her pressed against him. He closed his eyes, savoring the feel of the woman he loved. He found solace in the fact that even though there was a lot she didn't remember, she could feel his love for her. She could receive the love from their children, and she was returning that love. He closed his eyes, utterly exhausted from his long night of keeping watch, and then love making. He let his chin rest on the top of her head, and was asleep within a few seconds.

 *****can08writer*****

 _Michonne was in an open field of grass. It was green as far as the eye could see. The sun was high in the sky, and she could feel wind on her back. She didn't know where she was, but she knew she was okay. She was happy here. Wherever here was._

 _There was a river that ran through the field, on her left. It wasn't very wide, or deep, but it was moving lazily through the grass. She could hear music behind her. A violin, and a guitar, and maybe a trumpet. She could hear a familiar tune, but she couldn't remember what the tune was. She just knew she'd heard it before. She couldn't see anyone, but she could hear people. Laughing, dancing, singing along with the music. She could hear glasses clanking, and loud conversation. The people were happy, and she was too. She looked down and noticed she was wearing a long dress, with a fake rose fastened to the front._

" _Really Rick? Fake ones?" she heard herself say._

 _Suddenly she was in front of many people, dozens of them. They were all looking at her with smiles on their faces. Then, she could hear Rick's voice reverberate in her ear._

" _And even then, my love for you will continue. Forever."_

Michonne woke up with sunlight beaming into her face through the semi-open blinds. She didn't open her eyes, she just lay still, reflecting on her dream. It was strange, and she didn't understand what it meant, but it left her with a sense of peace.

Rick was cuddled up behind her, sleeping deeply. She could hear and feel his breath exhaling into her shoulder. His arm was wrapped around her in a protective gesture, and his hand was covering her belly.

In that moment, in the early morning, waking up next to Rick, she felt like she was in the safest place in the world. She knew this was where she wanted to wake up every morning, being held by her husband.

Slowly, attempting to not wake Rick, she turned in his arms so she was facing him. She was eye to eye with him now, and she scanned his peaceful face as he slept. He looked adorable and calm, like all the responsibilities and heartache that he had to endure when he was awake went away while he slept.

Unable to contain herself she leaned forward and kissed him on the nose. Her kiss was enough to wake him and a smile spread across his face. Eyes still closed, he reached out and placed his hand on her face, running his thumb across her lips. His eyes then opened and they searched her own.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She smiled and pressed her lips to his. "If every night with you is like this, I don't ever want to sleep alone again."

"Oh, I won't ever let you sleep alone again. That's a promise," he said.

She smiled and climbed on top of him, sitting on his lap. Rick looked up at her with pure joy. His hands danced across her skin, running up and down her thighs, her abdomen, and her chest. She could tell he was making up for weeks without making love to his wife.

"I can't tell you how much I've missed this" he said, allowing Michonne to caress him anywhere she wanted. "I've missed you, Michonne."

She leaned down and wrapped her arms around him while still sitting on top of him, hugging him. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. Don't be. I'm just so glad I have you back" he said, pressing her to him again.

 *****can08writer*****

Three weeks later, and it was time for Daryl to get married at Oceanside. Michonne hadn't left the gates since Judith's near death experience, and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't nervous about leaving the safety of Alexandria.

Before the trip, Rosita had given Michonne another check-up, just to make sure there was nothing wrong in terms of the pregnancy and the head injury. Besides morning sickness and fatigue, Michonne had no other worrying symptoms, and Rosita thought it should be okay for her to go on such a long journey, especially since Rosita was traveling with them. Since Michonne had just barely developed a baby bump, Rosita figured she was ending her first trimester.

Rick told her that they had regular patrols that cleared most walkers from the roads, and they had a whole protocol for when there was a caravan of wagons traveling together, like there was on this trip to Oceanside.

Michonne had continued her training with Carl, and she was fairly confident with her katana skills, but they had never been tested on real walkers before. Rick was dedicated to making sure she never got to test her skills. Michonne had lost all of her previous horse riding abilities, so she was more than happy sitting in a wagon rather than risking another accident on a horse.

Rick and Michonne were sitting up front on a wagon, while Judith rode in the back with all of their supplies and belongings for the trip. Carl rode slightly ahead of the wagon on his own horse, serving as one of the security guards that were surrounding the caravan.

There were many people traveling to Oceanside for this event. There hadn't been a wedding in quite a while, and everyone was excited for the chance to celebrate. Oceanside was an especially popular destination due to the beaches, and its once all female populace. Needless to say, after Oceanside joined the coalition of communities, there was an influx of eager men looking for a new start there.

A few hours into the journey, the caravan met up with travelers from Hilltop, also going to Oceanside for Daryl and Lorna's wedding. Maggie was among those travelers joining the caravan.

"Rick! Michonne!" Maggie said enthusiastically, as the pair got out the wagon to greet her. Michonne noticed she was fairly young, with shoulder length brown hair and green eyes. She held a boy about four years old on her hip. He had straight dark brown hair, but green eyes just like his mother. Michonne surmised he was half Asian.

"Hi Hershel!" Judith yelled from the back of the wagon, waving. The boy enthusiastically waved back at her.

"Hey Maggie," Rick said giving her a hug. Maggie broke the hug quickly and came over to Michonne, wrapping her arms around her and rocking back and forth. Michonne hugged back, unsure of how to interact with this woman. Rick had told her that Maggie had known them for a long time, and that she was the woman Michonne had traveled to Hilltop to help out when she'd just had a baby.

Maggie stepped back and stared at Michonne's face.

"You have no idea who I am, do you?" Maggie asked, somewhat mystified.

Michonne shrugged and said, "Rick told me that you're family. That's all I need to know."

Maggie smiled and nodded. "I was there, when you fell. You scared me to death. I thought… I mean we were hoping we didn't lose you. And when I heard news that you'd lost your memory…"

Maggie shook her head and grasped Michonne's hands. "I am so glad you came back to us Michonne. I'm so glad you're here."

Michonne smiled and nodded. This woman, Maggie, seemed to care about her a lot. She thought they'd make good friends.

"We can catch up some more on the way," Rick said. "We're losing daylight and we've got some hours and miles to go."

Maggie looked like she wanted to say more, but she nodded, turning towards the others from Hilltop.

"Let's go, we're headin' out!" she called.

The Hilltop residents quickly jumped into their wagons, obeying Maggie's orders. Michonne was impressed that a woman so young was in charge here.

Michonne and Rick got back in their wagon, as Maggie gave her baby to another woman, presumably to look after him while she was gone. She kissed the little boy on the top of the head and cheek, whispering something to him. He laughed and hugged her again.

Once the newcomers to the caravan joined them, they all headed off again.

 *****can08writer*****

It was hours into the journey. Judith was asleep in the back of the wagon, and there was a seemingly endless stretch of road ahead of them. Michonne glanced back at the girl, who was curled up on top of a stash of blankets, and smiled.

"So, Judith is working pretty hard in the stables to convince you to get her a pony. Is that something we're doing?" Michonne asked.

Rick smiled. "Are you on board with our six year old having a pony? It's a lot of responsibility."

"Well, she has to learn somehow. Seeing as things are, she'll need to know how to take care of a horse. It's really the only mode of transportation around here. It's best if she learns early, you know?"

"Yea I know. I know she'll have to learn to do everything eventually. But part of me wants her to just… just be a little girl. Learning to ride and having her own pony is just one step away from her growing up. I'm not ready for all that. Not yet."

"You'll never be ready for that" Michonne said with a laugh. "Look at Carl, he's starting to get a beard that rivals yours and you don't want him to move out."

"You do?" Rick asked, his head snapping to Michonne.

"No! No, of course not. But I understand his logic. He is old enough to take care of himself. And I understand needing some space from your parents. Once I went away to college I never moved back home. I loved my parents, but I just needed to start living my life. That's important, even now."

Rick sighed. "I… I know. It's just… I know Carl can live without me. I'm so proud of him, that he's gotten to the point that he doesn't need me anymore. It's what I've always wanted. To know that he could survive in this world without me if he had to. I'm proud. But the truth is… I need him. He's… he's my boy."

Rick looked at Carl who was trotting ahead of them on his tan horse.

"I just like having him here. Having him near me. It's selfish, I know. I've got to let him go. It's not healthy for him to be around his parents all the time. I just… I'm gonna need some time before I'm okay with him leaving."

Michonne nodded silently. "Yea, I can understand that," she agreed.

"If you don't mind my asking, how do you feel? After… after we buried that box? I know it's been a while since but… did it get any easier?"

Michonne sighed and watched the trees slowly pass by her as the wagon plodded forwards.

"I feel like this is right. That this family is how it should be. That this is where I'm happy. I've come to terms with the fact that I probably will never get my memory back. Not completely. But it's okay. All I need to know is that I'm loved here. And I love all of you. That's it," Michonne said, slowly stroking her tiny baby bump. "I want to be as happy as you are about this baby. I think I'll get there. I hope I do. But no matter what, I'm still with you."

Rick chuckled and turned to Michonne.

"What?" Michonne asked.

"You've said that to me before. It just brings back memories."

"Is that a good thing?" Michonne asked.

"Yea. Yea it's a good thing. Lets me know you're still you."

The two of them were quiet for a few minutes, silently watching the landscape, when Michonne broke the silence again.

"Rick. Is sex with you always this good?" she asked, leaning closely and keeping her voice low so as not to disturb Judith.

Rick's eyes snapped to her in surprise. He could see she was serious, and he couldn't help the blood that rushed to his face.

She noticed he was blushing, and she smiled seeing that he was still a little embarrassed talking openly to her about their sex life, even after being married to her for so long.

"You like it that much, huh?" he asked with a smile.

She leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his cheek, right next to his ear. She then slowly ran her nose over to his ear and gently sucked on his earlobe. Luckily his horse didn't need much guidance to pull the cart in a straight line, because he no longer was paying attention to the road.

"I do," she whispered. "The past few weeks, sex with you has been magical. I mean, after four years of marriage, I can imagine the excitement could… get played out," she said with a shrug.

"Not with us" Rick said adamantly. "Yes, sex is always like this or better. I don't think we ever got tired of each other, at least you never complained, and I sure didn't. And luckily, my services are available to you at any time. Whenever you want or need them."

Michonne smiled and rested her head on Rick's shoulder.

"I'm gonna hold you to that Rick Grimes."

Rick laughed and rested his head on top of Michonne's.

"You do that Michonne Grimes."

 *****can08writer*****

After a day and a half of travel, and one ride on a leaky, oar powered barge that left Michonne heaving off the side of the craft, they arrived at the Oceanside community. They had to leave the horses and wagons at a stable built for that purpose, just beyond Oceanside, because the barge that carried people across the waterlogged swamp wasn't sturdy enough for heavy equipment and animals.

There was little electricity here, except for large towers that rang bells every few minutes. Michonne was initially unnerved by the bell ringing until Rick explained it was to lead walkers away from the community. The Oceansiders, as they liked to be called, lived simply, but Michonne immediately saw why this had become a vacation refuge.

The views of the ocean here were amazing. Her mouth dropped as they hiked through the forest to the main village, and it opened up to a beautiful ocean view and sandy beach. The smell of the ocean breeze, and the peaceful vista was like they'd been taken back to the old world, and dropped on a private island somewhere. The houses were basically shacks and cottages, although they certainly had charm. One could even imagine they were an off the grid honeymoon getaway. Michonne was amazed that there were no walkers anywhere, but seemingly no gates either.

"It's beautiful" Michonne breathed, as she held Judith's hand, strolling besides Rick.

"It is," Rick agreed.

"Look Mommy, it's the ocean!" Judith said, excitedly pointing.

"It is, Jelly Bean."

"Look how big it is!" she exclaimed, awestruck.

"It's big enough to throw you in," Rick growled, lifting Judith and placing her on one of his shoulders like a rolled up rug.

She squealed in delight. "Daddy, can we get in the water now? Pleaseeeee?"

"We just got here" Carl said with a laugh from a few feet behind them.

"So?" Judith asked. "Please Daddy? It's so much fun!"

"We're gonna go say hi to Uncle Daryl, see when the rehearsal dinner is, and if we have enough time, maybe we can get in the water before that" Rick said.

 *****can08writer*****

Daryl and Lorna were waiting to greet all of the guests that had traveled so far for their wedding. Everyone met at Lorna's small cottage. Daryl was outside, talking to a few men when Rick's caravan arrived.

"Hey!" Daryl greeted them.

"Daryl! Look at the blushing groom," Rick joked, as he reached out his hand to shake his friend's.

Daryl let out a snort. "Yea, whatever" he said.

"Hey Michonne," he said, giving her a hug. "How's your head?"

"Same ol', same ol'" she said with a smile. "Are you ready for your wedding tomorrow?"

"Ready as I'm ever gonna be" he said with his normal Daryl aloofness.

"Hey Carl, Lil' Ass Kicker," Daryl said, shaking hands with Carl and lifting Judith up in his arms.

"Hi Uncle Daryl! I'm ready to be your flower girl," Judith announced.

"Oh good. Now we can finally start havin' fun. Couldn't do nothin' without the flower girl," he said, hefting Judith on his hip.

"I have a pretty dress and _everything_ ," Judith said, wrapping her arm around Daryl's neck.

"I bet you do," Daryl said.

"Daddy said we had to see you before we could go swimming in the ocean. Can we go swimming now Uncle Daryl?"

Daryl laughed. "Already? Y'all just got here."

"That's what I said," Carl mumbled.

Judith pouted. "But I never get to go in the ocean."

Daryl almost smiled. "Okay, how 'bout y'all come on in, say hi to Lorna, and then I'll join y'all for a dip."

"Really?" Judith asked.

"Yea, just for my flower girl."

 *****can08writer*****

Lorna was a voluptuous woman, with an even bigger personality. She had shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes, a round chubby face, and a meaty body. Where Daryl was quiet and a man of little words, Lorna was loud and had no trouble speaking up for the both of them. Michonne figured it was true that opposites attract. At least in their case.

Although she was rather boisterous, and locked Michonne in a hug so tight she had trouble breathing, Lorna seemed like a kind, loving, woman. And Daryl, as much as he tried to hide it, seemed extremely happy.

Lorna offered her many guests some fried catfish and beer, and she absolutely fell in love with Judith.

"My lord, such a pretty flower girl I have" Lorna said, spinning Judith around. "I hear you like cod jerky."

"Yea!" Judith said, nodding enthusiastically.

"Well I saved a whole box for you. Right over there" Lorna said, pointing to a box on the kitchen counter.

Judith looked up at Rick. "Daddy can I eat it?" she asked.

Rick smiled. "Go on."

"Thank you Aunt Lorna!" Judith called before running over to the box.

"One down, one to go" Lorna said, looking at Carl. "Do I have to bribe you too?"

Carl laughed. "Not unless there's something worth bribing me with."

"You like surfing? I got me a surfboard in the shed out back. Only used it once or twice."

"Awesome!" Carl said enthusiastically.

"Go on and get it, I hear y'all are gonna go to the beach before dinner. Maybe Daryl and I will head down there with y'all. It's beautiful this time of day."

Carl nodded and left to get the surfboard from the shed.

"I think you've won them over" Rick said with a laugh.

"Good" Lorna said with a head nod. "I really wanted to make a nice first impression. Y'know, I've seen the two of you around, when you came to do business, right after the war with Negan. I've always admired the love you two have for each other. Y'all weren't all over each other or nothin', but everyone could still tell y'all were in love, y'know? Just hopin' Daryl and I can get that too."

Michonne smiled at the woman. "Seems like y'all have that already."

Just then, Daryl entered the room. "Everybody's got food and beer, and there's space for them at Cyndi's hotel. Lorna, I'm gonna go with Rick and Michonne to the beach for a little while."

"Hell, I'm comin' too" Lorna said. "Been a while since I've been down to the beach."

"You sure?" Daryl asked. He didn't want to pull her away from her friends who were also visiting.

"Hell yea, I'll meet you down there in a little while."

Before Daryl could say anything else, she leaned over and gave him a peck on the lips before disappearing into one of the rooms.

Daryl blushed a shade Rick had never seen him turn before. He seemingly forgot about Rick and Michonne as he put a hand on his lips, tracing the place Lorna had just kissed him.

"You good?" Rick asked teasingly.

"What? Yea… yea I'm good" Daryl said. "C'mon, let me show y'all where you're staying."

 *****can08writer*****

Cyndi's hotel was a row of cottages that could be rented out to travelers and visitors to Oceanside. She was the only one to have a hotel of this sort, giving her a monopoly, and allowing her to become wealthy at a young age. At least as wealthy as one could be in the apocalypse. Seeing as she was Carl's age, her business sense was impressive.

Rick and his family was sharing a three room cottage with Rosita and another woman from Alexandria. Maggie and some people from Hilltop were in the cottage next door. Michonne was very impressed by how clean and functional it all was. The cottage had been built post-apocalypse and was entirely made of wood, but it had very good craftsmanship, probably because that was a necessity to survive the storms that Oceanside often got, being so close to the ocean.

The family dropped off their bags in their room, not even unpacking, before they changed their clothes. No one had bathing suits anymore. Underwear and t-shirts were the preferred swimwear.

Rick stripped down to his boxers as Michonne watched him from her spot on their bed, not hiding the fact that she was checking him out.

"You gonna get ready too?" he asked, amused.

"Yea" Michonne said dismissively, staring at his butt.

Rick turned around to watch her watching him. "So take your clothes off" he demanded.

"You asking? Or are you ordering?" Michonne asked, flirtatiously rubbing her legs together.

"I'm ordering" Rick said, crossing his arms and staring her down.

Michonne smiled and reclined on the bed.

"Y'know, I don't take kindly to people ordering me around."

Rick smiled and stalked towards her. "I know."

He reached her and grabbed both of her cheeks, tilting her head up so their lips could connect. Just when their kisses started getting heavier, there was pounding at the door.

"Mommy! Daddy! I'm ready, lets go!" Judith called.

"We'll have to finish this some other time," Michonne said, quickly kicking off her pants, and changing into a pair of shorts.

"Definitely," Rick said, opening the door to their bedroom for Michonne and following behind her.

 *****can08writer*****

At the beach, Judith had dropped all of her belongings and sprinted to the water before anyone could stop her. She squealed when her toes first touched the cold ocean water.

"Oh my gosh! It's so cold!" she yelled, leaping away.

Michonne came up behind her. "It is, but you just have to acclimate to it."

"What does that mean?" Judith asked.

"You just have to get used to it. Here. First you put your feet in," Michonne said, demonstrating by dipping her feet into the water up to her ankles. Since Michonne was doing it, Judith figured it wasn't so bad, and she stuck her feet in as well.

"You stay here for a minute or so, just until you don't feel so cold anymore, and then you move in a little further" she explained.

"When does it stop being cold?" Judith asked.

"Once you're able to get your whole body in, it shouldn't feel cold anymore" Michonne responded.

Michonne held Judith's hand and they moved into the waves inch by inch together.

Rick watched from shore with Daryl, and Carl was putting Lorna's surfboard to good use, which drew the attention of three girls who were sitting on the sand watching him.

"I never thought I'd see the day you'd get married," Rick said, only somewhat joking with Daryl.

"Yea, me neither" Daryl responded. "I owe your wife though. If she hadn't bet me that Lorna would say yes I probably wouldn't've asked."

"Yea, we all owe her," Rick said with a nod.

"How'd you do it? Dealing with her forgetting you?" Daryl asked, rubbing the side of his face.

Rick shook his head and watched Judith and Michonne who were now up to their waists, laughing and bobbing up and down as the waves washed over them.

"To be honest, I didn't think I could deal with it at first. But then I thought about all the times in the past she could've given up on me, and she didn't. I couldn't do that to her. So I just thought of it as a way to make her fall in love with me again. And she did."

Daryl scratched the back of his head. "Damn man, that's… that's some real shit. Hope to be like that someday. Y'all are like the brady bunch of married people. You're the only happy married couple I've ever known."

"Yea well, you will" Rick said nodding, "you will. I'm happy for you brother, I really am."

"Yea" Daryl said, turning around to see Lorna and a few other guests making their way to the beach as well. "Yea, me too."

"Daddy look!" Judith called, before dipping under the water and bursting to the surface again.

"Good job sweetheart" Rick called from shore.

"Come join us Daddy" Michonne called with a mischievous lilt to her voice.

Rick smiled and Daryl rolled his eyes.

"I'm gonna go check on Lorna," Daryl said, walking away from Rick.

Rick stripped off his shirt so that he was just in his boxers, and ran to join Judith and Michonne. He wrapped his arms around Michonne, secretly caressing her body through her wet t-shirt, as Judith played unaware next to them.

Once they started getting cold from the water, they moved to the sand. Judith built a sandcastle while Rick and Michonne sat on towels, enjoying the sunshine and watching Carl surf. He was amazingly good.

"He had surf lessons once when we went to Florida on vacation," Rick explained. "He couldn't've been more than 7 or 8, I had no idea he remembered anything."

"He's great" Michonne said. "He's gotta teach me."

"Do you swim?" Rick asked. He realized he'd never seen her swim in his life. The last time he'd seen her in a substantial amount of water was when they'd dropped into slimy sewer water when clearing out a food pantry full of walkers. It was hardly water anyone would want to swim in.

"Yea" Michonne said, "I was on a swim team from the time I was 10 to 18."

"Lemme see" Rick challenged. "Let's race."

"I'm not gonna show off," Michonne said, flipping her hair behind her shoulder. "Wouldn't want to embarass you in front of all of your friends."

Rick laughed. "Don't worry about my ego. Let's race to Carl, Rick said, pointing at Carl who was in the deeper water, floating on top of the surfboard and having a conversation with one of the admiring girls who'd swam out to talk to him.

"Carl will kill us if we interrupt this conversation," Michonne said. "Look at them, they're really hitting it off." Carl was leaning over on his surfboard, laughing at something the girl said, as she clung to the front of the board.

"The more girl friends he meets, the more incentive he has to move out," Rick said. Let's break up this party shall we?"

"Rick!" Michonne shrieked, slapping his chest. "You're horrible."

"And you're about to lose," Rick said. "Judith! Mommy and I are gonna race. Give us a count to three."

Rick had already stood up, and braced himself in a running position.

Judith looked at them, puzzled. "Mommy, aren't you racing too?"

Michonne sat on the towel relaxed, refusing to stand. "It's okay honey, go ahead and count."

"Okay. One, two, three!" she shouted, and Rick took off in a sprint towards the water.

Michonne considered letting Rick swim out to Carl and not even race him at all, but she figured this was a good time to demonstrate her hidden talents. She hadn't mentioned she'd also been a beach lifeguard every summer when in college, and even pregnant she was confident she could beat Rick at this task.

Letting Rick get a head start, she yanked her shirt off, and tore towards the water in her bra and panties. He was still wading into the knee deep water when she caught up.

"How the hell'd you…?" Rick asked when he saw her right behind him, but she dove into the shallow water and began to swim before he got the words out.

"What the hell…?" Rick asked, before diving into the water as well, but he dove too deeply and almost did a belly flop in the sandy shallows. He took a breath of air and tried again, Michonne already three body lengths ahead of him.

He was amazed at how fast and graceful she was. She tore through the water as if she were going for a leisurely swim in a swimming pool. The waves didn't bother her at all. Two minutes into the race he realized there was no way he was going to win. Saving his strength, he doggy paddled towards Carl, watching Michonne cut her way to the surfboard like a shark.

Michonne could see Carl's surfboard in sight, and the two teens on it looking towards her in confusion. She could tell Rick wasn't behind her since there was no splashing. She leisurely glided up to Carl's board, and stopped right in front of it, gripping the back to give herself a rest from treading water.

"Hi Carl," she said nonchalantly.

"Uh… hi Michonne. You okay?" Carl asked, looking to his father who was still steadily making his way towards them.

"Yup, just proving a point to your father" she said, exhaling as she caught her breath.

"And what was that point?" Carl asked out of the side of his mouth, still wondering why his parents were crashing his conversation.

"That I still got it" Michonne said. She turned to the blond haired girl who was holding on to Carl's surfboard awkwardly, unsure if she should leave or not.

"Who's this?" Michonne asked.

"Anna, this is my mom, Michonne. Michonne, this is Anna," Carl said reluctantly. Rick finally caught up and grabbed on to Carl's board as well, rocking the craft that was now dangerously overcrowded.

"And my dad," Carl added, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"Oh these are your parents?" Anna asked. "Cool. Nice to meet y'all."

Still panting from his swim, and holding on to the board to get a rest, Rick breathed out, "did Carl tell you we live far, far away, _all_ the way in Alexandria?"

Carl turned to his father and stared at him, silently asking him why he was still here and speaking to this girl.

"Oh yea, he did. Did you travel over here for Lorna's wedding?" she asked.

"Yup we did" Michonne answered. "Are you from Oceanside? Or did you travel here too?"

Carl looked from Rick to Michonne, desperately trying to find out why they swam over to him, and why they were insisting on having a conversation with this girl.

"I'm from Oceanside. I came here a long time ago with my aunt when everything happened. Lived here almost my whole life."

"Well we're heading back home in a few days. All the way back to Alexandria. It took us a day and a half to travel here, but we just came here for a _brief_ visit." Rick kept emphasizing the distance between Alexandria and Oceanside.

Michonne rolled her eyes at Rick, and continued her conversation.

"So you must know everything about this town. Maybe one of the days we're here you could give us a tour?" Michonne asked, getting a good feeling about this girl. Rick and Carl both focused on Michonne with the exact expression of confusion on their faces. Michonne would've laughed if Anna wasn't there.

"Yea no problem. I live in that little blue hut over there" she said, pointing to a hut almost right on the beach. "When you guys are ready for a tour just come knock on my door. I'm free in the afternoons."

Carl just looked from his parents to Anna, still trying to grasp what was happening.

"Thank you Anna, that's so sweet of you," Michonne said. "Isn't that so sweet of her?" Michonne asked Rick.

"Yea, yea it is," Rick said, looking slightly confused. He thought the mission of swimming over here was to break up Carl's rendezvous and let this girl know that Carl wasn't planning on being here long. Not invite the girl to hang around them some more.

"You're welcome, Mrs…?"

"You can call me Michonne," she said.

"And Mr…?" Anna asked.

"Mr. Grimes" Rick said gruffly.

Anna was unfazed by Rick's sudden grumpiness. "Okay, well, I'm gonna get going. It was nice meeting you Carl. And you too Michonne and Mr. Grimes. I hope I see you all again."

"Bye Anna," Carl said softly.

"We'll see you soon," Michonne said, smirking at Rick. Anna turned and swam off towards the shore.

"What was that?" Carl asked, immediately turning on his parents. "Why did you guys come over here? To embarrass me?"

"We were just racing, and your surfboard looked like a good finish line," Rick said with a shrug.

"I won, by the way," Michonne added.

"Yea, well you didn't tell me you were a Navy Seal" Rick quipped.

"The last thing I needed was my parents swimming over here in their underwear," Carl said, rolling his eyes. "The two of you are so embarrassing sometimes."

"Anna didn't mind," Michonne said. "She seems like a nice girl."

"Yea well she'll never talk to me again now. Thanks."

"I doubt that" Michonne said, pointing to shore.

Anna had reached the beach and turned around to wave at Carl before heading over to her blue hut.

"Don't worry, you'll thank me later," Michonne said, before backstroking to the shore towards Judith, still building sandcastles on the beach.

"Isn't she pregnant?" Carl asked his father.

"Yea, imagine if she wasn't" Rick said in awe.

 *****can08writer*****

After a brief private rehearsal for the wedding, in which everyone was told where they were standing and what they were supposed to do, there was a large rehearsal dinner.

The dinner was basically a bonfire on the beach, with Daryl and Lorna's favorite foods. Roasted squirrel, fried catfish, raw clams, and crab were all on the menu. Michonne had to stay far away from the bonfire while the food was cooking, as her sensitive stomach still couldn't take the smell.

There were so many visitors, the beach was full of people meeting and greeting. Rick introduced Michonne to new people, as well as people that she should have known, quickly explaining who they were before Rick approached them.

Michonne tried her best to smile and follow conversations, but she felt like an oddity. Most people had heard about her accident. In the small communities, gossip spread like wildfire, and for those that didn't, Rick explained it as quickly as he could. Everyone tried to be understanding, but Michonne soon got tired of people she didn't know asking her if she was okay, and what she did and didn't remember.

When a jolly man with gray dreadlocks and a theatrical voice pulled Rick away from her side to discuss something important, Michonne took the opportunity to get away from the crowds.

She grabbed a glass of water, and walked over to a bench, somewhat away from the festivities. She sat there sipping her water, watching her family interact. This place, there was a magic to it. It almost felt like before. She could almost forget that she was living in a world where the dead come back to eat the living, and all of the former societal structures were gone.

Children were playing, teens were hanging out, adults were talking, and hugging, and laughing. This was the way things should be.

She placed her hand on her abdomen, over her soon to be child. This was the type of life she wanted this baby to have. She took another sip of water, and noticed Maggie making her way towards her. Michonne tried to avoid eye contact. She really didn't want to talk or entertain any more curious questions about her memory loss right now.

Maggie walked up to her bench, and gestured at it with her head.

"Can I sit?" she asked.

"Yea" Michonne said, nodding.

"I know you wanted to be alone, that's why you came over here. You don't have to talk if you don't want to. But I'm not gonna let you sit here by yourself."

Michonne nodded and smiled. "It's not that I wanted to be alone, I'm just tired of people asking about my memory."

"Yea, I get that" Maggie said, sipping on wine that people from the Kingdom had brought. "Mmm, this is good" she said, "I can get you a glass?"

"No. That's alright," Michonne said.

"You sure?" Maggie asked, surprised.

"Yea I'm good," Michonne replied, taking another sip of her water.

Maggie turned to Michonne and smiled knowingly.

"Okay, how many months?" she asked.

"What?"

"How many months are you?"

Michonne stared at Maggie blankly. "Did Rosita tell you?"

"No. I know you Michonne. Turning down wine, and barfing your brains out on the barge ride over here? You're pregnant. Right?"

Michonne nodded. "Yea. I'm not sure how many months. Rosita thinks I'm at the end of my first trimester, so maybe three."

"Three?" Maggie asked excitedly. "That's… that's so exciting! I'm so happy for you two!"

"Yea, we are too," Michonne said.

Suddenly Maggie remembered the timing of Michonne's accident.

"Oh my God. You didn't remember your life with Rick when you found out you were pregnant," Maggie said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Well, in my mind I'd known him for about a week," Michonne explained.

Maggie's mouth hung open. "I can't imagine. I'm sorry. I can't fathom what you went through."

"Yea, it was a lot. But they all helped me through it. They helped me to cope, and now I'm okay. As much as I can be in the situation."

Maggie nodded and then searched around the crowds with her eyes. "And Rosita? Does she think you'll get those memories back?"

Michonne shrugged and looked up at the sky. "She has no idea. No one really does. All I can do is live each day in the now. I'm gonna move on from where I am, because I can't go back. The family around me now is enough. I'm happy with that."

Maggie looked at Michonne in admiration. "Do you remember Glenn?" she asked.

Michonne shook her head. "Rick told me stories about Glenn. I know he was family. But no, I don't remember him."

"Glenn was my husband" Maggie explained. "Negan, the man in the cell at Alexandria, he murdered him, when I was pregnant with my son, Hershel. I had to raise Hershel without a father. Without his dad who loved him and was looking forward to…" she paused for a moment, sighed, and wiped a tear from her eye.

"Glenn was looking forward to raising his son. When Hershel was born, I was a mess. I was happy, because I loved him so much, but every… every time I looked at my son, I saw Glenn. And it reminded me that Glenn would never see his son's face."

Maggie paused and took a drink of her wine, to calm her nerves. Michonne was captivated by the story, and her feeling of pity for this kind woman.

"I was depressed. I guess it was post-partum depression. I couldn't handle the baby alone. I didn't want to wake up, I didn't want to feed him, I didn't want to look at him sometimes. Can you imagine that? It hurt to look at my beautiful boy, because of what Negan did to his father."

Maggie swallowed back her tears, and Michonne reached out and held her hand, not knowing what to say.

"I know I'm crying, but this, this isn't a sad story," Maggie said, wiping at her face. "You brought me back from the depression by just being there. You took care of me, and Hershel, when I couldn't. Some days you got me out of bed and made me take a shower, and made me go for a walk, and some days you just let me lay there and be sad. And I needed that. You were there for me Michonne. If it would've helped, I would've been there to help you through your accident. But Rick said it would be best if I didn't come."

Michonne was touched by Maggie's words.

"I'm glad I helped you," Michonne said. "I'm glad I got you through that. Rick was right, about what he told you. It was best for me to only be around Rick and the kids. Getting to know them was jarring enough, but it means so much to know l have other family who care about me."

"I want to be there for you with this baby, just like you were for me. If there is anything you need Michonne, anything. I'm here for you. I've never really told you this, but you and Rick, y'all are like my big brother and sister. When I think of love and marriage, the two of you are the first people who pop in my mind. You two love each other so much."

She began to cry again.

"I think if Glenn were alive… I'd hope that we'd be like you and Rick."

Michonne, overwhelmed, wrapped her arms around Maggie and pressed the woman's head to her shoulder. Maggie sobbed softly. "This is a party. I shouldn't be crying. I'm ruining Daryl's wedding party."

"No you're not," Michonne said, rubbing her back.

This young girl had been through so much. Everyone in this world had. Michonne's pain was just one of the many thousands of tragic stories. But there was hope in this world too. There were happy endings. At least she hoped there were.

 _ **Author's Note:**_ _Thank you for the outpouring of reviews and encouragement about this story. Every time I get a review it makes me want to continue and write more. I will be wrapping up this story probably in one more chapter, maybe two, but thank you again for all the support._


	10. Chapter 10

_**This chapter is long, but it's the final chapter. I hope you enjoy it and please leave a review at the end!**_

The next day, after a quickie to celebrate the new morning, Rick and Michonne got Carl awake, and Judith dressed for Daryl's wedding.

The groomsmen consisted of Rick, Carl, and a small boy from Oceanside who was the ringbearer. The bridal party was much larger and consisted of Carol, Maggie, Rosita, Michonne, three Oceanside women including Cyndi who were friends of Lorna, and Judith who was the flower girl.

Carol was an older woman who embraced Michonne warmly and re-introduced herself when they'd met at the bonfire the night before. Michonne's first impression of her was that she was a sweet, caring woman. But Michonne had always been very perceptive, and there was something in Carol's eyes that told Michonne she'd been through some things.

Although Michonne knew she had a long history with these women, she still felt like the odd woman out, smiling politely while they joked about and discussed things that she didn't fully understand. She couldn't help but feel a little awkward, although she appreciated that the women tried their best to include her in the conversation. Judith wasn't uncomfortable at all, thriving from the attention of her many aunts.

"I can't get over how tall you've grown," Carol said, stroking Judith's hair as she sat on her lap.

"I'm up to Daddy's belly now," Judith said proudly, "and guess what? Daddy's gonna get me a pony now 'cuz I'm big."

Michonne gave Judith a look. "He said maybe," Michonne corrected.

"But he's gonna, Aunt Carol," Judith said, ignoring her mother's insertion.

Maggie chuckled and Michonne rolled her eyes saying, "she's been begging for one for a while now."

"Well if your Daddy says yes, I know a pony just the right size for you," Carol said, stroking Judith's hair that Michonne had braided down her back. "She's a little pony named Tinker. Ezekiel and I have had her since she was born, two years ago. She's the perfect size for a little girl."

Judith's eyes lit up, and Michonne knew that now she and Rick would never hear the end of it. Judith looked at Michonne, begging her with her eyes.

"Thanks Carol," Michonne said unenthusiastically.

"Anything to help!" Carol said with an amused glint in her eye.

Just then, Lorna entered the room with Cyndi and the other Oceanside women. Michonne, Carol, Maggie, and Rosita got to their feet and showered praise on her for her beautiful dress.

It was a simple light pink shift dress that came to her knees, with lace arms, that showed off her curves. No one really had fancy clothes anymore, but the special clothes they did have came out only for big events such as weddings. Most of the fancy clothes were made by inexperienced tailors, who were newly re-discovering the art of making clothes. But this dress seemed well made, as if they'd gotten it from an actual dress store.

"I found this dress on a Macy's run five years ago. I just grabbed it, never thinking I'd have cause to wear it. Who'd guess I'd be wearing it to my wedding?" Lorna asked, shaking her head in wonder.

"You look amazing," Maggie beamed.

"Daryl's a lucky guy," Rosita agreed.

"Thank y'all," Lorna said, blushing slightly.

"The guys and all the guests are already at the beach," Cyndi announced. "Are you ready to get married?"

Lorna smiled and held her hand out for Judith to take. "I've never been more ready in my life."

 *****can08writer*****

Daryl and Lorna stood on the beach in front of Father Gabriel, surrounded by friends and family. Everyone was barefoot, and wore their best clothes, which for most consisted of clean shirts, and jeans that didn't have holes in them.

Lorna was the best dressed, as she should've been, but Daryl gave everyone a run for their money by shaving, cutting his hair, and wearing slacks and a button down shirt.

"He surprised the heck outta me," Rick whispered to Michonne. "This is the cleanest I've seen him, ever."

Michonne giggled and playfully elbowed Rick. She hoped he was joking.

Rick slowly ran his fingers down Michonne's arm, and clasped their hands together as they watched Daryl and Lorna face each other to say their vows. Michonne smiled and squeezed his hand back.

Daryl was first.

"You know I ain't that good with this stuff," he said, looking down at the sand. "I ain't one to say all the fancy words people say at weddings… but what I can say is we both've been through some bad shit. Stuff we had to do to survive."

Daryl looked up from the ground and at Lorna. "I've never really had someone to tell all the bad things I been through, before and after. The only person who ever knew about _all_ of it was my brother. And he ain't here. I thought I'd never tell anyone all that stuff. I thought I just had to suck it up and move on. But you showed me I could tell someone. I could rely on someone and trust 'em."

Daryl took a deep breath. "I ain't never loved nobody like I love you Lorna."

Lorna smiled and began her vows.

"In all the horrible things we've both been through, I'm glad we found each other in the middle of it. First time I saw you I didn't like you much to be honest. Thought you were too quiet, too standoffish. But I thought it was cute how you used to just sit across from my house like a stalker… pretending to wait for a bus that would never come or somethin'. I didn't think you'd ever make a move if I didn't come stand in front of you and ask you why you were starin' at me. I'm glad I did though, 'cuz I met the sweetest man I've ever met in my life. You, Daryl Dixon, are quite a man, and I'm lucky to be your wife. But you are damn near blessed to be my husband, so you'd better appreciate it for a long, long, time."

Daryl smiled again, wider this time.

"Yes ma'am," he grumbled, and grasped Lorna's hands tighter.

Father Gabriel had the couple exchange rings, and the wedding was soon over. The ceremony ended with Lorna reaching up, grabbing Daryl by the cheeks, and kissing him passionately on the lips. Daryl seemed slightly taken by surprise, but he responded by wrapping his arms around Lorna, tilting her backwards, and taking control of the kiss. The crowd cheered as the two put their love on full display.

Rick turned to Michonne and saw her smiling, but she had a wistful look on her face.

"You okay?" Rick asked.

"Yea," Michonne said with a smile. "Yea, I'm just… I'm happy for them." Her lip began to tremble.

"Michonne…" Rick began, seeing she was on the verge of tears.

"I am, I am… I just love weddings," she said with a shrug, wiping away her tears. "Stupid hormones."

Rick wrapped an arm around her and kissed her forehead. He knew she loved weddings. He was genuinely surprised at how she'd been almost obsessive about their own, planning, and saving, and decorating for months beforehand. She'd had her dress made by a seamstress, and she'd handmade many of the decorations and centerpieces. He'd joked that she should've been a decorator instead of a lawyer.

He watched her clap while the newlyweds made their way past the guests and towards their house where there were refreshments.

Suddenly, it dawned on him that she didn't remember their wedding, their vows, the decorations that she painstakingly made, and the joy that she had when they'd declared their own love for each other. All of those magical memories they'd made that day, and their honeymoon night, were stored in Michonne's head, but cruelly packaged somewhere she couldn't reach.

Rick began to get emotional when he realized how many beautiful moments they had shared, and how many good times they'd had, that Michonne didn't know about. His eyes welled up with unexpected tears.

Michonne looked up at him amused. "Do you cry at weddings too?" she asked with a laugh.

"No, no I don't," Rick said, wiping at his eyes.

"Yea, 'cuz you are totally not crying at this wedding," she said.

When Rick didn't laugh, Michonne moved closer to him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her own emotions forgotten.

"Nothing… I mean, something, but it's nothing you need to worry about right now."

Michonne's forehead wrinkled. "If something is wrong I do need to worry about it," she demanded. "Rick, don't start hiding things from me. Please."

The other guests began to make their way towards Daryl and Lorna's home as the two talked quietly. Rick nodded to Carl who was escorting Judith back with the others.

"I just was thinking about what you don't remember. The good times we had and made together. Our wedding… you have no memory of one of the most important days of our lives. Seeing you cry over this wedding, it just brought back memories. Memories that you don't share, and its… it's just not fair I guess."

"Oh," Michonne said, immediately looking down.

"I didn't mean to bring down the mood, but that's what I was thinking."

Michonne blinked a few times, and created a slight distance between Rick and herself.

"I'm sure it was beautiful," she said softly. "I know it was. And I wish I could remember. I've always wanted a wedding. I was happy with the arrangement I had with Mike, but if he'd proposed to me I would've said yes immediately. I always imagined I'd have a big dress, and beautiful centerpieces, a fancy venue, and all the things little girls are socialized into wanting. I'm just glad to know that it did happen for me, and it happened with you. That has to be enough for me for now."

Rick gave her a smile, nodded, and held her hand.

"Let's get back to the party shall we, Mrs. Grimes?"

Michonne smiled back. "Yes Mr. Grimes, we shall," she said, laughing at her husband.

Michonne was pleasantly surprised to find that Rick could dance, and on beat too. She didn't know why she'd assumed he couldn't. Maybe it was the flat ass, or the bowled legs. Maybe it was his beat up cowboy boots, or his country accent, but she was impressed and a little turned on when he pulled her away from a conversation with Rosita, wrapped his arm around her waist, and led her to the dance floor, also known as Daryl's front yard.

Rick wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close, swaying side to side on the grass as a battery operated cd player blasted a tune.

"Hmmm, I see you're a man of many hidden talents," she complimented, pressing her cheek against his.

"Baby, you have no idea," Rick murmured, squeezing her waist.

Michonne laughed and kissed Rick's cheek. "Oh, I think I have an idea or two."

Rick chuckled and held her closer. "How are you feeling?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Happy, very happy," she said with a smile. "This place is magical. Can we stay here forever?"

"You like it better than Alexandria?"

"Our house in Alexandria is beautiful, but replacing the smell of horse manure with ocean air will win every time."

"Well, we can come back again."

"Promise?" Michonne asked, giving him a winning smile.

Rick looked at her slyly. "You sound just like Judith."

"Hey, when she's right, she's right," Michonne said with a shrug.

Rick looked around and spotted Carl laughing with Anna, both of whom were sitting on a nearby bench.

"I don't think my plan worked," he said, gesturing at Carl with his head.

"Oh leave them alone," Michonne scolded, slapping Rick on the chest. "Let him have some friends. He's gonna grow up no matter what you do."

Rick sighed. "I know. He already has."

"That's the point, right?" Michonne asked.

Those words made her think of Andre. He never got to grow up. She never got to the point that she had to explain girls, and adulthood, and the more difficult parts of life to him. But Rick was lucky. Carl made it, and Judith made it. The lack of children running around told Michonne that most kids didn't make it. She was content having a child with a man that had raised two others successfully in this world.

"That's the point," Rick agreed. "I'm gonna try to not be that overprotective dad, but it's gonna take some time. Being overprotective is what's got us this far."

Michonne couldn't disagree with that. He was probably right.

Lorna appeared, holding Daryl's hand as she led him from the house. Everyone looked as she turned to him and placed both of his hands on her waist, and she wrapped both of her arms around his neck. They began to dance to a chorus of hollers and cheers.

Daryl's face was a shade of red, but he held on to his new wife, swaying slowly from side to side as she led the dance. Lorna leaned in and gave Daryl a nip on the lips, but Daryl held her more tightly, kissing her deeply.

Rick cheered at his friend, glad to see he was so happy. Lorna seemed to open up Daryl to love, and a part of himself that he usually wasn't comfortable showing. Michonne had done the same for him. Rick understood the transforming power of a good woman.

As everyone watched the pair, Rick felt a tug on his hand. He looked down and saw Judith pulling at him.

"I wanna dance too Daddy. Can we dance?" she asked.

"Of course sweetheart," he said. He held Judith's hands, and she stepped up on the toes of his shoes. Judith beamed and stared at their feet as Rick swayed with her, stepping side to side as she held on, giggling.

Michonne stepped off to the side and watched the pair in complete contentment. She wished she had a camera to capture Judith joyfully smiling and laughing up at her father, her braided blond hair trailing down her back, and Rick's bright smile as he danced with his little girl.

Michonne's hand absentmindedly stroked her abdomen as she watched other couples join in with the dancing. Carol and Ezekiel, Rosita and a man from the Hilltop group, and then she beamed when Carl asked Anna to dance. As he led the girl to where everyone else was dancing, his eyes met Michonne's and she gave him a knowing smile. Carl rolled his eyes and turned away from Michonne to hide his embarrassment, but still he placed one hand on Anna's waist and the other held her hand as he rocked side to side with the beat.

 *****can08writer*****

The caravan stayed at Oceanside for two more days before preparing for the trip back home. The day after the wedding, Anna had taken the family on a tour like she promised. She showed them the places where Oceanside dried and stored their fish reserves, the place where they built boats and canoes to go out in the ocean, and a beach that only the locals really visited, that had a view even more beautiful than the main village.

Rick took a liking to the young girl, and Carl seemed to be awestruck by her knowledge of fishing and surfing. The day after the tour, Carl and Anna went fishing on their own. Judith hung out with her Aunt Carol, giving Michonne and Rick some alone time which they spent naked in the room in their cabin.

"Put your feet up here," Rick told Michonne, patting his lap as she lay before him in the bed.

"Rick, I was just mentioning my feet were a little sore, but I'm fine."

"Put them here," Rick said seriously.

"You don't have to…" Michonne started, but she saw Rick's serious face and slowly propped her bare feet up on his lap. He checked over her feet, gently rubbing them as he scrutinized them.

"Your feet are a little swollen," Rick declared as he massaged her arches.

"Really?" Michonne asked, surprised.

"I think that walking tour yesterday was a little too much. I should've known better. You shouldn't be exerting yourself so much."

"How could you have known better when I didn't?" Michonne asked. "I've never had swollen feet during my pregnancy before. You couldn't have known that was going to happen."

"Lori got swollen feet when she was pregnant with Carl, and with Judith. With Carl I was attentive to her, getting everything she needed, making sure she had her body pillows, and her massages, and all the food for her cravings. But with Judith..."

Rick looked up at the ceiling for a moment as he continued to rub Michonne.

"I was busy doing… things. I was looking for food, and shelter. I was providing security. I was going on runs. I acted like I didn't have time for her, but I did. I just didn't want to be around her. I wanted to punish her for what she did with Shane. I wanted to punish her for looking at me like a monster after what happened with Shane. I was just awful to her. She didn't deserve that. Not while she was pregnant."

Michonne closed her eyes as Rick continued rubbing her feet. "I'm sure she understood you were trying to make things safe. And you were entitled to feel what you did. I couldn't imagine how that was for both of you."

Rick took a breath and opened his eyes again.

"Did you have any complications? When you were pregnant with Andre?" he asked.

"Well, I wouldn't call it complications, but the last few months I was super emotional and horny as hell," Michonne said with a laugh, her eyes still closed.

"Well that's something to look forward to," Rick joked, and Michonne slapped him on the chest with her eyes still closed.

"What? I'm serious. At least about the horny part," he replied.

"Well the horny part wasn't even that fun. I would end up crying during or right after sex for one reason or another. I was a mess. It's not anything I'd look forward to."

Rick finished massaging the bottoms of her feet and slowly inched his way up to her calves.

"What would you cry about?" Rick asked.

"I cried because I thought Mike didn't really love me. I cried because I thought I looked like a cow and his compliments were just him trying to be nice. Once, I fell asleep during sex and cried when I woke up and realized that I'd left him hanging. Like I said, I was a mess. He was so patient with me though. I know I was a little difficult in the last few months."

"He was patient with you because he knew he was lucky to have you," Rick said, leaning down and kissing Michonne's knee. "Any man with half a brain would know that. How long did labor take?"

"Ten long hours. I went into labor at my job actually. I was officially on maternity leave, but there were files from a case that I had to give to my co-worker. I went in to the office to transfer my files to him, and my water broke. Right there in the office."

Rick chuckled. "Of course you worked right up until you went into labor."

"It was so embarrassing though," Michonne said, shaking her head. "He was so nice about it, even though I knew he was panicking. It was just us and he didn't know what to do. He wanted to call 911, but I asked him to call Mike and tell him that he needed to come get me. He even cleaned up the mess I left on the floor, and he apologized over and over, like he did something to make my water break."

Rick continued massaging further up Michonne's legs, reaching her lower thighs. Michonne noticed, but chose to ignore his ascent.

"Was it a natural birth?" Rick asked, his fingers slowly rubbing her inner thighs. Michonne was temporarily distracted by his touch, but she continued.

"Yea. Thank God for epidurals though. I'm terrified how it's gonna go without medication."

"You'll be okay. You'll make it through. We'll do whatever we need to do to keep you comfortable."

"What if I can't take it? What if the pain is too much? I mean, before I got the epidural I felt like I was dying, I can't even imagine going through that for hours on hours."

"You'll be okay," Rick said again, leaning down to kiss her thighs. "I'll be there with you. And we have a midwife, she's delivered 6 babies so far, including Maggie's. And we have Rosita too, okay? We're all here for you, and I'll do whatever I need to do to make sure you're okay."

Michonne relaxed into the bed completely with her eyes closed. "I don't really have a choice, do I?" she asked.

Rick's fingers traveled up to the tops of Michonne's thighs and he lightly massaged, making her relax and ever so slightly move her legs apart.

"Don't worry about that now," Rick said softly. "I want you to enjoy our time alone together."

Michonne snorted and opened her eyes. "And let me guess what you have in mind."

Rick smiled and let his tongue lightly brush Michonne's spot on her inner thighs. Her eyes promptly shut and she bit her lip.

"I'll give you one guess," Rick said.

Michonne smiled and grabbed Rick's hair with her fingers, just before his lips made contact with her sweet center.

"Mmmm" Michonne moaned loudly, and then she quickly placed a hand over her own mouth.

"Don't do that," Rick said, pulling her hands away.

"But Rosita is just next door," Michonne explained.

"She's a grown up. She knows what's going down in here," Rick laughed. "Besides, you don't remember, but she owes us big time for the things I had to overhear between her and Abraham when we were on the road. Believe me, she'll get over it."

Before Michonne could protest, Rick's whole face was between her legs, and any thoughts of quieting herself were gone. His tongue lapping at her slit made her forget everything that was weighing on her mind. Pregnancy, labor, pain, loss, regret, her old life, everything else was less important when she was making love to Rick.

After listening to Michonne's encouraging moans, Rick moved his face up her body towards her abdomen, planting little kisses all over her belly.

"Hey you in there" Rick called, making Michonne open her eyes and laugh. "This is your Daddy speaking. I'm not sure if you have ears yet, but if you do, listen up. I'm gonna have to ask you to not remember any of the things I'm about to do to your Momma in a minute, okay? As a matter of fact, if you can hear I need you to put your hands over your ears for the next 15 minutes or so."

"Only 15 minutes?" Michonne asked, arching her eyebrow.

"Well, I'd say 30, but I don't think you'll last that long," Rick said, lifting the corner of his mouth.

"Oh I can last all night. One of us can have multiple orgasms in a row."

"Let's see if you stay awake long enough for that to happen," Rick shot back, and Michonne playfully poked him.

"That was a low blow" she said.

"Okay, it was. I'm sorry" Rick agreed, apologetically kissing her stomach again.

"You're gonna be," Michonne said, quickly flipping herself and Rick over, so she was straddling him.

"Woah, where did that come from?" he asked, but Michonne didn't answer. Once on top, she leaned down and kissed Rick enthusiastically, her bare breasts rubbing against his chest.

Rick wrapped his arms around Michonne pulling her closer, but not interrupting the kiss she grabbed both of his arms and pushed them up towards his head.

"Keep your hands up here" she said. "Just lay back and relax."

Rick grinned showing all his teeth, but did as Michonne commanded.

Michonne was sitting on Rick's stomach, and she slowly began to whine her body against his, circling her hips to a rhythm that existed in her mind.

Rick looked up at his beautiful wife with his mouth hanging open slackly. She looked straight into his eyes as she moved against him, her womanhood painting his belly with moistness.

Rick was standing at attention within seconds, and Michonne could feel his rod pressing against her behind as she continued moving on him. She slowly moved her hands up to her breasts, gently squeezing and fondling them as he stared up at her in wonder.

"Are you sorry for saying I'd fall asleep during sex?" Michonne asked him, with Rick hanging on her every word.

"Mmmm," Rick grunted.

Michonne rolled her eyes and moved further back on Rick so their pelvises lined up. His manhood jumped from being in such close proximity to her opening, and his hands moved downwards to grab her waist.

"No" Michonne scolded, lifting his arms back up. "I asked you a question."

"Yes. Yes I'm sorry for saying that. I am so, so sorry," Rick said with a smirk. "Please, can I touch you now?"

"Nope," Michonne said, whining her body more slowly on top of his dick, "I don't believe you."

Rick licked his lips at the sensation of her moving her muscles on top of him. Her stomach muscles twisted as her hips circled, and she reached down and started to play with her clit.

"Michonne please. Let me touch you," Rick said, his palms itching to rest on top of her breasts and feel her hardened nipples.

Michonne didn't answer, she was too busy pleasuring herself as she picked up her pace, grinding faster against Rick. Rick watched in amazement as her wet center began to drip on his rock hard dick.

"God please. I'm… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Let me… let me touch you."

Michonne still didn't answer as she rubbed her clit, moaning and biting her lips.

"Dammit Michonne," Rick said, and he reached to take over the job of stroking her. As soon as he touched her she slapped his hand away.

"How do I know you're sorry?" she asked, not even opening her eyes as she slipped a finger between her folds.

"I… shit… I just am… I… I was just joking. I wanna… let me do it… please."

"What do you want to do?" Michonne asked, slipping another finger inside.

"I wanna fuck you. So bad. I wanna slip my dick inside of you and fuck you."

Michonne opened her eyes and looked down at Rick who was damn near pleading to touch her.

"Okay, I believe you Rick," she said with a smile, "but you're not gonna fuck me."

Rick was panting as he stared at his wife. Surely she didn't do all this to tease him?

"I'm gonna fuck _you_ ," she said simply. She rose off of him to grab hold of his rock hard dick, and she slammed down on top of it, driving him completely inside of her.

"Ohhhhh" Rick groaned loudly.

Michonne giggled at his loudness. She leaned forward so that she was pressing down on his arms, keeping them above his head. Her loose hair made a curtain around both of their faces so that all he could see was her. He leaned upwards and took a hard bite of her bottom lip, as she continued circling her hips against his.

"Fuck," Rick released. It was so sexy when she took control. Michonne pressed down harder on Rick, pushing him into her impossibly deep.

"Mmmmm" Michonne moaned. She could feel him inside of her, the pressure from him giving her a satisfyingly full sensation.

She began to whine faster, her body dripping fluids as she became more and more aroused. Rick could smell her, and he could still taste her from earlier. He wanted to devour her, to make her his, but he respected that she wanted to be in control this time, and the torture of not being in control was turning him on even more.

"Harder baby. Fuck me harder," Rick whispered.

Michonne began to bounce on top of Rick, every one of her down strokes impaling her again and again and again. She released Rick's arms, and moved her fingers to his lips as she continued bouncing.

Rick bit and licked at her fingers which still contained her juices. With her fingers in his mouth he looked up to watch her writhe in ecstasy on top of him. He bent his knees to give himself leverage as he thrust himself upwards into her. He wasn't using his hands as she'd commanded, but he was taking some control back.

She didn't complain as she now held onto Rick's abdomen with both hands, riding her man as he pushed in and out of her. Michonne picked up the pace, and she felt a tingling in her toes that told her she was close.

"Touch my breasts," she ordered.

Rick's hands went straight to her breasts, his palms pressing against her nipples, as his fingers squeezed them. Michonne opened her legs wider, wanting to feel more of him.

"Lick… lick my breasts" she commanded in a harsh whisper. He could hear, feel, and smell that she was close. He was holding on only until she came.

His tongue circled her nipples, licking and biting them.

"Fuck!" Michonne yelled, bouncing on him hard. "Touch… touch me."

Rick grabbed Michonne by the waist and flipped her on to her back before she had a chance to protest. Within seconds he found her g-spot and gave it all of his attention.

"Ahhhh" Michonne yelled, "fuck Rick, yes!"

"You like when I touch you?" Rick asked, pushing her over the edge, "tell me if you like it."

"Yes!" Michonne shouted, right before she came, her muscles clenching down on Rick's dick.

"Oh fuck," Rick spit out, and he came inside of Michonne so hard that it mostly ran out and flowed all over the sheets.

The room was silent as the both of them recovered from their exhausting romp.

Michonne was the first one to speak. "You're gonna have to wash those sheets before we leave," she declared.

Rick laughed. "I don't suppose they have a washer and dryer here?" he asked.

"Nope. I guess that's payback for making fun of me."

Rick pulled Michonne in to him and she kissed him on the nose.

"That was amazing," he whispered.

"You liked that?" she asked with a smile.

"You can fuck me any day," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Maybe I will" Michonne said, wiggling her own eyebrows. She then let out a yawn.

"You wanna sleep?" Rick asked.

"How long do we have until we have to get Judith from Carol's cabin?"

Rick reached over and picked his watch up from the table next to the bed. "An hour," Rick said.

"Oh I can't waste that hour sleeping" Michonne said, climbing on top of Rick again.

"Really?" he asked, surprised that she was ready to go again.

"Have I ever twerked for you before?" Michonne asked, with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Is that question even relevant?" Rick asked, gripping Michonne's waist. She laughed, throwing her head back and letting her locs swing down her back.

"Okay, put your hands up," Michonne demanded.

Rick quickly placed his arms over his head, clasping his fingers together. Ready for whatever it was Michonne was about to do.

 *****can08writer*****

Soon, it was time for them to leave Oceanside and return to Alexandria. They thanked and said goodbye to Daryl and Lorna, who understandably spent the majority of the two days after their wedding alone in their own home. Daryl thanked them all for coming, and Lorna sent home more cod jerky for Judith.

When Michonne asked Carl about his time fishing with Anna, he was stoic and barely gave her any details, making her believe he truly had a crush on the girl. She saw him give her a hug goodbye as everyone was packing their things. She didn't want to push him with her questions, but she was fairly certain he'd find a reason to come back to Oceanside sometime soon.

They crossed the swamp in the barge to meet up with their horses and wagons that were left behind, and then were on the road again.

Judith begged Carl to ride her on his horse and he obliged, placing his sister in front of him, and even giving her control of the reins. Michonne smiled at the joy on Judith's face as she controlled Carl's horse. Carl spent a half hour teaching her how to stop and turn the horse, and he let her ride for a while before placing her back on the wagon with Rick and Michonne.

"See Daddy? The horse liked me," Judith bragged.

"That he did sweetheart," Rick agreed.

"I bet Aunt Carol's pony will like me too," Judith said. "Right Mommy?"

Michonne snorted and gave a high pitched chuckle.

"I'm sure Aunt Carol's pony will love you, Peanut. Won't he Rick?" Michonne asked, nudging Rick in the side.

"I thought you were on my side about this," Rick said.

"I think she has some great points. And aren't we raising her to think for herself? My mom always said a woman who speaks her mind gets what she wants."

"C'mon Michonne…" Rick began, but he was interrupted by a series of whistles coming from the front of the procession.

Rick straightened up, and his change in demeanor made Michonne's heart beat faster.

"What is it?" Michonne asked.

"They've spotted something up front," Rick said. The people at the front of the caravan held their hands up to silently warn the people behind, and Rick joined them, putting his hand in the air to warn Maggie's wagon behind him and the others behind her.

Everyone went silent and two whistles sounded from the front of the caravan. Michonne looked from Rick to Carl, trying to figure out what was happening.

"Walkers," Rick said, putting the reins of the wagon down. "I'm gonna go to the front and help them out. Stay here with Judith."

Michonne looked to her right and saw others who were on single horses making their way to the front of the caravan to help take care of the walkers up front. Carl was already making his way towards the blockage on the back of his horse.

"W-wait, is it safe?" Michonne asked, her eyes widening in concern while she gripped Rick's arm.

"It's okay," Rick said reassuringly. "Stay in the wagon."

Rick casually hopped out of the wagon and jogged up front with Carl, Rosita, and a few others. He was soon out of sight.

"Mommy are there Walkers up there?" Judith asked.

Michonne didn't want to scare Judith, but she was scared herself.

"I think so Jelly Bean, but don't worry, Daddy and Carl's got it under control."

Judith climbed from the back of the wagon and into Michonne's lap, where Michonne firmly held her. Holding Judith helped calm both of their nerves.

Maggie, who was on the wagon directly behind theirs called to them when she saw the concern on their faces.

"Don't worry, when we're far away from our protected communities like this we see herds here or there. We'll be on our way in a few minutes."

Michonne nodded and ran her hands through Judith's hair. She paused and stood up from her seat when she finally heard the moans and growls of many walkers up ahead. They sounded like wild animals, their garbled vocalizations echoing down the road.

There were thuds, walker snarls, and the sounds of metal on bone, and she knew that the group was taking the walkers down as quickly as possible.

Despite her fear, she had a strong urge to be there with them. She wanted to help Rick and Carl and make sure they were okay, but she couldn't.

She looked down at her sword that was stowed under the wagon's front seat. She'd brought it just in case… of what she didn't know, but it had been laying under the seat practically the whole trip.

She pulled it out and placed it next to her.

"Are you gonna use your sword Mommy?" Judith asked.

"No. I'm just gonna keep it here until Daddy comes back," she said, pulling Judith closer.

The Walker noise got louder, and she could hear shouts and warnings from the people on the front lines.

"How many do you think are up there?" Michonne called to Maggie.

"Not more than they can handle," Maggie said nonchalantly.

There were a few more yells and shouts over a span of a few minutes, and then the noise died down.

"See?" Maggie called to her. Michonne nodded at Maggie slightly while continuing to stroke Judith's hair, but her heart continued to pound in her chest. She wouldn't relax until Rick and Carl came back unharmed.

The relative quiet of the caravan was interrupted by more whistles from the wagons in the back. Michonne, Maggie, and the other people in the wagons all spun around. What Michonne saw made the blood drain from her face.

There were more walkers coming for the rear of the caravan. Michonne grabbed Judith to her in terror, pressing the girl's head against her stomach.

"What Mommy? What is it?" Judith asked.

"Shhh, shhh" Michonne warned. "Get down!" she said, pointing under the wagon's bench. Without a word, Judith ducked down, already suspecting what was going on.

The others who had stayed with the wagons hopped down with weapons, ready to defend against the herd coming up behind them.

Michonne had never seen a herd before, and the sight of it made her freeze. There were dozens of corpses in various stages of decay, stumbling towards the group. Many of them were missing limbs or body parts from them simply rotting off. Still they inched their way forwards, their dead eyes staring.

"Stay up there," Maggie yelled to Michonne before she hopped off her wagon.

Michonne crouched down with Judith as she watched the others run at the approaching Walkers. Maggie pulled a knife from a sheath at her side, and plunged it through the head of a Walker with a sickening pop. Two other men were tag teaming a Walker, one knocking it down, the other running it through the head with an axe.

Michonne was mystified at the way these people moved. They killed Walkers as if it were the easiest thing in the world. They barely gave the Walkers a second glance as they moved from one to another.

Everyone was preoccupied with the mini invasion, and Michonne was fixated on watching them, so she didn't see the Walkers approaching the wagon at first.

It was the loud growls that drew Michonne's attention towards the horses in the front of the wagon. She startled at the sight of the two walkers that were ambling towards her horses.

"Maggie! Help!" Michonne called to her friend, but she was too far and too preoccupied to hear her.

The Walkers were about ten feet away, making their way towards the nervous horses.

"Mommy!" Judith yelled in alarm.

"Shhh," Michonne quieted her, pressing her head downwards to keep her hidden. Michonne slowly drew her sword.

The horses neighed nervously and stomped at the approaching pair. Their movement shook the whole wagon. Michonne had to protect the horses. The Walkers would tear them apart.

The first one was only feet away from a horse. Taking a deep breath and praying to God to protect her, Michonne leaped off the wagon and ran at the Walker before she could psych herself out.

The Walker turned its head towards Michonne, distracted by her movement. It was a large man with a gaping hole where his left cheek should have been. It looked like something had taken a bite out of his cheek, and the skin flapped down his neck, swinging as he walked.

Mind numbing fear encompassed Michonne as he headed straight towards her, his skeletal arms reaching for her. Trying not to look at him directly, and too afraid to properly aim, Michonne swung her sword at him. The blade swung through the Walker's decomposing arm, easily slicing it off, but not slowing him down at all. Within seconds he was a foot from Michonne, his teeth gnashing at her.

Michonne screamed in terror and leaped backwards. He was too close to her. Her practice with Carl, and her training in the safety of her backyard didn't prepare her for the pure fear she felt with a moving, growling, murderous Walker standing in front of her.

"No Mommy!" Judith screamed, not hiding as she'd been told to do, and watching from the seat of the wagon. The Walker looked up at the girl, its hunger focused on her for a second, but the second was long enough for something to be triggered in Michonne. That Walker's glance at her daughter caused anger to flood her veins. This is what had taken away Andre. One of these things had torn her Peanut apart, and now it wanted Judith. It would never have her.

A sound that was a mix between a scream and a growl exploded from Michonne's mouth. Using her fear and anger to her advantage, she swung her sword and severed the Walker's head from its body. She stared down at the Walker for a moment, watching its head snap at her as it rolled away. She felt nauseated, but the second Walker was right behind it.

She swung at the second Walker's head, merely slicing its face. The Walker barely reacted and stumbled forwards. Concentrating her panic into a scream, Michonne shoved the sword straight through the Walker's face and out the back of its skull. She was so shocked that she'd impaled it that she let go of the sword, and the Walker fell with the katana still tangled in its skull and hair.

"No! Over here! Over here!" Judith screamed, banging on the side of the wagon. Michonne spun around quick enough to see Judith distracting a Walker that had come up behind Michonne unseen. The thing was reaching up for Judith when it could have easily bitten Michonne while her back had been turned.

Michonne bent down and yanked on her sword, dislodging it from the Walker on the ground. The distracted Walker soon got bored with Judith and continued its journey of trying to eat Michonne. Michonne raised her sword and brought it down on the Walker's head, slicing its forehead into two, and sending the corpse to the ground face first.

Michonne looked around wildly, on the alert for any Walkers that were making their way to her. She pressed her back against the wagon so nothing could sneak up behind her.

Judith was still peering over nervously while Michonne panted from her exertion.

"You… you called… that Walker," Michonne said, taking a gasp of breath between her words.

"It was gonna eat you!" Judith said softly.

Michonne chanced a glance up at Judith who was looking down at her, her eyes wide.

"I'm okay because of you. Good job Peanut."

Michonne caught her breath as she held her sword out in front of her. She could hear the others still finishing off the remaining Walkers, and then the pound of horse hooves from those who had handled the first group of Walkers up front.

Michonne took a calming breath and walked over to the Walker whose head she'd detached. It stared up at her from the ground, moaning and snarling. Swallowing down her disgust, Michonne raised her katana and firmly stabbed the head, its growls coming to an abrupt stop.

"Michonne?" Carl called, he was trotting up to her on the back of his horse, concern written all over his face. Rick was a small way behind him, sprinting towards her.

"I'm okay" she called, raising her katana with the Walker's head still impaled on the edge.

"You did that?" Carl asked, his concern turning to fascination.

"I… I did," she replied. Now that she'd calmed down and had less adrenaline coursing through her veins she could acknowledge her accomplishment. She'd killed three Walkers. "I killed them, but Judith helped me."

Carl looked from Michonne to Judith in confusion. Rick who'd finally caught up, was on her in a moment, wrapping his arms around her, and then holding her away from himself so he could inspect her.

"They were gonna attack the horses. I had to," Michonne explained.

"You're okay?" Rick asked, his eyes scanning hers.

"I'm okay," she said, glancing up again at Judith with a smile. "And Jelly Bean is getting her pony."

Judith let out a gasp and then grinned, bouncing up and down on her toes. Rick looked from Michonne to Judith and let out a small reluctant smile.

"Yea, she is."

 *****5 months later*****

Michonne was well versed in the stories of her past. Abraham, Andrea, Glenn, Beth, Hershel, Deanna. She knew these people like someone knew of their great, great, grandparents, whose stories had been passed down through the generations, but who they'd never met in person.

She knew of the trials they'd faced with the Governor, and Terminus, the prison, and their first months in Alexandria, because her family had told and retold all of the parts that led to who they were today. But Michonne still had no memory of the events for herself.

She'd have dreams sometimes, of moments that she assumed happened in her past life. Sometimes they'd be happy, she had an occasional recurring dream of her, Carl, and something involving crazy cheese. Sometimes her dreams would be dark. There'd be walkers, and heat. Despair, and blood. She'd dream of being on her knees and surrounded by shadows, she'd dream of fighting and kicking, attacking and being attacked. She didn't know what was memory and what was dream, but either way, that wasn't her now.

When she'd wake up she'd see Rick lying next to her, she'd feel her baby move in her womb, and she'd put the dreams behind her and greet the new day.

Her morning sickness was long gone, and so was her aversion to meat cooking, although she never ate deer tacos again since waking up and smelling it for the first time. Her belly had been steadily growing, it seemed like it was inches bigger every time she looked at herself in the mirror.

Rick had been planning something behind her back. She knew it. He'd have conversations with Rosita, or other members of the community, but stop whenever she approached. She'd learned he was a horrible liar when his face would turn red when she asked what he was talking about.

She knew something was going on, but he and everyone else seemed determined to keep her out of the loop. Although it was annoying, she decided not to push the issue.

One morning she was surprised when Rick came back from watch duty early, only a few hours after he'd left. Michonne was tending to the family's backyard garden as much as she could, which meant simply watering it since her belly was much too big to bend down and weed at this point.

"What are you doing back so early?" Michonne asked, wiping her hands on her stretchy leggings. There were no maternity clothes for her, so her torpedo shaped belly hung out over the leggings. She'd sewn a few extra inches on to the bottom of her shirt to at least cover her impressive baby bulge, but any movement of leaning back or raising her arms caused her belly to jut out the bottom of her shirt. Rick loved seeing it, the proof that their love had spawned new life.

"I missed you," Rick said, wrapping his arms around Michonne and kissing her gently on the forehead.

Michonne pulled away and looked into Rick's eyes. "You missed me enough to leave your watch shift?" she asked.

"It's a beautiful day, I wanted to enjoy it" Rick replied, giving Michonne a winning smile.

"Rick, what's going on?" Michonne asked, immediately on guard. He was acting too weird, and he was a really bad liar.

"Nothing," Rick said, grabbing Michonne by the hand. "C'mon, let's go for a wagon ride."

"A wagon ride?" she asked, completely confused. "Rick, I'm watering the garden and you should be working. Why are you here in the middle of the day, talking to me about wagon rides?"

Rick ignored her and pulled her by the hand. "It's fine. Come on, it's a beautiful day and I'd like nothing more than to take my wife and my baby for a ride."

"Rick I'm not dressed to go out, and you know I have to pick up Judith from school in a few hours. What's gotten into you?"

"You," Rick said, raising her hand and kissing the back of it. "You've gotten into me."

He wrapped his arm around her waist and continued guiding her towards the stables.

"Rick I can't…" Michonne began.

"Shhh. Just trust me Michonne. Okay?" he asked.

Michonne rolled her eyes and sighed. She guessed a wagon ride wouldn't hurt. She allowed him to lead her to their wagon, and she patiently waited as he hooked it up to their two horses. Judith's palomino colored pony, Tinker, nickered at them from her stall, desperate to get any treats or attention they were willing to give out.

"Hey girl," Michonne whispered to her quietly. She reached over and patted her on the neck while she waited for Rick. "Don't worry, Judith's gonna come back to feed you after school."

The pony nickered again and shook her head. Judith had been taking good care of her. She was diligent about keeping her food fresh and her water clean, and she let her out for exercise every afternoon. Carl had even continued Judith's riding lessons, and the pony did well with Judith on her back.

When Rick was done hitching the horses, he grabbed Michonne by the hand and helped her into the wagon.

"Rick, where are we going?" Michonne asked as she got comfortable on the wagon's bench, still confused and a little suspicious of his behavior.

"Goin' for a ride," he said, not looking her in the eye. She sighed and decided to stop asking questions for her own sanity.

As they made their way towards the front gates, Michonne noticed the town didn't look nearly as busy as it usually did.

"Where is everyone?" Michonne asked, turning around in the wagon as they made their way through the streets.

"Huh?" Rick asked, looking straight ahead as they pulled up to the gates.

"Where is everyone? There's usually people all over the place, and hardly anyone is outside today."

"Look, Wanda is right there," Rick said, pointing to a woman on watch who opened the gate for them and gave them a wave as they made their way through.

"I'm talking about everyone else Rick," Michonne said, beginning to get frustrated. She didn't like feeling like she was out of the loop. Especially since she had been out of the loop for so long. She hated not knowing what was happening around her.

"C'mon, just enjoy the ride Michonne" Rick said, reaching for her hand and interlacing his fingers with hers. He slowly caressed them, and then turned his head towards his anxious wife, giving her a winning smile.

Michonne sighed and squeezed his hand. "Fine," she huffed. "Can you at least tell me where we're going? I may have to make a bathroom stop in a few minutes. The baby is sitting on my bladder right now."

"Don't worry, we're not going far. If you need a stop just let me know."

Michonne slowly rubbed her belly as the two of them continued down the still road. Rick was right, it was a beautiful day. It had to be mid fall, but the temperature was still warm with a cool breeze. The trees were changing color, and the ground was just beginning to be sprinkled with orange and red leaves.

She glanced over at Rick who had begun whistling softly to himself as he glanced at the road ahead. Although she was annoyed he was obviously hiding something, the idea of getting out of Alexandria for a while was growing on her.

"So should we be worried about Walkers?" she asked, turning to look into the woods.

"Nope. Don't worry about them at all," Rick replied, squeezing Michonne's hand tighter. "A patrol just went through here. There aren't any in the area."

Michonne nodded slightly.

"Have you thought of any names for the baby yet? We haven't really talked about it, and it's coming soon," Rick asked.

"It?" Michonne asked.

"Him? Her?" Rick asked, turning to her. "What do you think?"

"I'm not sure," Michonne said, looking down at the rapidly growing bump resting on her thighs. "When I was pregnant with Andre I thought it was a girl up until we had the sonogram. I decided not to even guess after that."

Rick laughed. "I thought Carl was a girl too. Lori, she always knew he was a boy. She said mothers just know."

"I guess that's not true for all mothers," Michonne said.

"Do you have a preference?" Rick asked, his hand that was holding Michonne's carefully sliding over to her abdomen and rubbing it next to Michonne's own hand.

"I just want the baby to be healthy. No complications, a short 3 hour labor and delivery, and absolutely no pain on my part. That's not too much to ask is it?" Michonne smiled.

"Not at all," Rick agreed.

"No, but if I had to pick, I've always wanted a little girl. I wanted to give Andre a little sister but it never happened. But now, I'm content. I have a son, and I have a daughter, so this baby is just a bonus on that."

Rick smiled. "I agree. Healthy baby it is." He glanced around them, and pulled the wagon to a stop on the side of the road.

"We're here" he declared, climbing off the side of the wagon.

"We're where?" Michonne asked, looking at the desolate road that had no indication that there was a destination around.

"You'll see," Rick said, holding out his hand to help Michonne from the wagon. When she got to the step for her to jump down, Rick lifted her in his arms and swung her around before placing her on the ground.

Michonne giggled and wrapped her arm around Rick's as he escorted her into the woods.

After a minute of walking, Michonne could hear noises and footsteps up ahead.

"Rick!" she said, pausing in her tracks and gripping Rick's arm. "Wait, do you hear that? It could be Walkers."

Rick just smiled and rubbed her arm. "It's not. It's fine. Just trust me, okay?"

Michonne nodded and continued forward, the noises getting louder. Up ahead, the forest opened into a clearing of grass and flowers. Michonne noticed a small stream ran through the clearing. People were milling about, all of them dressed nicely. Michonne recognized the faces, Rosita, Carl, Judith, Maggie, even Daryl and Lorna were amongst them.

"What is going on?" Michonne asked, completely confused and concerned.

When everyone noticed the pair they waved and began clapping and hooting. Michonne gave them a confused smile and turned to Rick with an expression that simply said _explain._

"It's our anniversary today," Rick announced, holding both of her hands. "We got married 5 years ago today, and I've been thinking about that. About the fact that you don't remember any of that. So I figured you deserved a re-do. If you're willing, I wanna renew our vows today, so you have a new memory of our wedding. And also, we merged it with a baby shower too. That was Rosita and Maggie's idea."

"It's our anniversary?" Michonne asked, shocked.

Rick nodded.

"You did all this? For me?" she asked, looking around the clearing. Two large tents were set up in the middle of the field, and chairs and tables decorated with balloons and fabric were everywhere. Each table had a centerpiece that Carl, Rosita, and some other Alexandrians had spent a week putting together. They were perfect replicas of the centerpieces Michonne had made for their wedding.

"Everything is so beautiful," Michonne gasped. "But I… I'm not dressed for a wedding, and I have dirt on me from the garden… I…"

"Shhh" Rick whispered, placing his hands on either side of her cheeks and lifting her head.

"You have a dress," Rick said softly. "You had a dress made for our wedding. You designed it yourself and Izabelle stitched it for you. I asked her to make a few changes to accommodate our baby, but its in one of those tents over there. Maggie and Rosita are gonna go help you get ready, and then we can renew our vows. Are you okay with that?"

Michonne smiled but her chin began to tremble and her eyes filled with tears. "I don't know what to say. No one has ever… I've never had something like this before."

"You have, and now you'll have it again," Rick whispered, hugging her and rubbing her back.

She sniffled a bit and then nodded.

"Okay."

Rick walked her over to Maggie and Rosita who both gave her hugs and escorted her off to get dressed. When Michonne entered the tent she was captivated by the dress that hung inside.

It was an off-white color, and had small spaghetti straps. The fabric had intricate stitching and lacing, and Michonne wondered where that type of fabric had come from. A dark blue sash cut across the waistline and ended in a bow in the back of the dress. The front of the dress reached down to her knees so she could easily maneuver on the grass, but the back had a long train that dragged a foot or two behind her. As she studied the dress she could see where the abdomen area had been let out and fabric had been added to accommodate her belly which had been flat the first time she'd worn the dress, but Izabelle the seamstress had done a great job of hiding the extra stitches.

The dress was exactly how she would have designed her wedding dress, and she was amazed at the perfectness until she realized that she _had_ designed it.

"It's beautiful," she said, slowly running her finger against the fabric.

"It is," Rosita agreed. "Let's get you in it."

*** **can08writer** ***

Twenty minutes later, Michonne, escorted by Carl, made her way down an aisle between rows of chairs to Rick who was waiting for her. He smiled as he watched her. He didn't think it was possible, but she looked even _more_ beautiful in the dress the second time around, her pregnant belly adding to her beauty. Rosita had brought the shells that Daryl had given Michonne from Oceanside, and placed them strategically throughout Michonne's hair. As Michonne made her way towards Rick, the shells glinted and reflected the sun, making Michonne look almost angelic.

When she reached her husband she noticed he'd changed his clothes as well and was wearing a light blue button down shirt, black slacks, and a dark blue tie that matched the bow on her dress. He was holding a fake rose, and he clipped it on to her dress with a smile when she reached him.

"Really Rick? Fake ones?" she asked, but her voice caught in her throat.

Michonne looked down at the rose, and a sense of deja vu hit her. She'd been here before. This rose, this field with the stream, these decorations. She remembered this place. She'd dreamt about this place.

She blinked a few times and looked at Rick. "We were married here. I think I remember. This field is where we were married before. There was music, and dancing. You gave me a rose, just like this."

Rick smiled and cupped Michonne's cheek with his hand. "Yes. This is where we got married before. And this is the same rose I gave you last time. You do remember."

Rick turned so that the crowd could hear him, but when he spoke he only looked into Michonne's eyes.

"To renew my vows, I'm going to say the same vows I made to you five years ago today. When I made these vows I meant every word, and I mean them still to this day. Michonne, I loved you before I knew you. I loved you before I knew I was in love. From the moment our eyes met at the fence at the prison, my soul leaped, because it recognized it's partner. You started out as a stranger. You were damaged. I was damaged more. But you brought me back from the dark, just by being yourself. As time went on, I finally recognized what my soul had known from the moment I laid eyes on you. That you, and I, are meant to be together. I am so lucky, so lucky to claim you as my own. I am so lucky that you want to claim me as your own. I hope to spend every day, every bit of life that I have left to live, with you. No matter what circumstances or situations we may face, we're the ones who live. I'm not naive. I know life is not guaranteed in this world. Nothing is guaranteed now. But we live by continuing to thrive, even when that seems impossible. I pledge to live for you, until I leave this life. And even then, my love for you will continue. Forever."

Michonne gasped at Rick's final lines. Those words, she'd heard them in her dreams. They were so beautiful, but so true. She felt the same way about him. She took a moment and closed her eyes, overwhelmed with all the emotions she was feeling.

"Honey?" Rick whispered softly. "Michonne? Are you okay?"

She nodded, taking a moment before she opened her eyes.

"I'm okay" she said with a watery smile. She then spoke loud enough for everyone else to hear.

"I don't remember what vows I said the first time, but I'm gonna speak from what I know now. I vow to love you Rick, and our children, as long as I live. I promise that no matter what happens, no matter how far we are from each other, or what trials we go through, I'll always come back to you. I promise that I will try to be the best person I can be, and show you the same level of love that you have given me since I woke up in that hospital bed. I love you."

Rick leaned in to Michonne, and their lips met, softly drinking each other in. Judith began to loudly clap for her parents, and the rest of the guests joined in, cheering for the couple.

Michonne pulled away from Rick's kiss, and with a smile she gestured for Judith and Carl to come to them. She kissed and hugged them both and Rick did the same.

Their anniversary afternoon continued, with lots of food, gifts for their impending baby, and dancing. Towards the end of the party, when sunset was coming, and guests began heading home, Rick led Michonne away from the crowd, and over to the stream that trickled through the field. As she walked, her long train trailed in the grass behind her.

When they reached the flowing stream, Rick stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face in her neck and gently kissing it. Michonne sighed and leaned back against her husband's chest, closing her eyes and breathing the scent of the water and grass.

"Today was so special Rick. I loved all of this," she said.

"So did I," Rick replied. "Happy Anniversary honey."

"Happy Anniversary," Michonne answered, already looking forward to the anniversary gift she'd be giving him when they got home.

*** **can08writer** ***

"Draw four, the color is green," Carl said, placing his card down on the table.

"Aww man," Michonne said, staring at the final card that Judith was holding. She leaned over and whispered something into Judith's ear. Judith smiled and slammed the last card on the table.

"Draw four, the color is red!" she yelled. "Uno, out!"

Rick broke into applause at Judith's final move. She and Michonne had been working as a team to defeat Rick and Carl, and their team had finally beat the both of them.

"Well Dad, draw eight," Carl said with a shrug.

"You got me there," Rick said, stroking his chin. He then slammed down his own Draw Four card.

"Draw twelve" he declared to Carl.

Michonne and Judith both laughed at Carl's shocked face.

"Ugh, I give in. You guys win," Carl said.

"No, I win!" Judith said, "and Mommy too."

"Yea, you win Judes," Carl agreed.

Michonne released a sigh and stretched her back, rubbing her left side. Her brow wrinkled and she sucked in a breath.

"You okay?" Rick asked.

Michonne rocked from side to side stretching her back.

"Yea, my back just hurts" she said. " I guess I sat still for too long."

"I'll give you a massage later," Rick said. He then turned to Judith.

"And guess what time it is?" He asked.

"Aww. But Daddy I'm not even sleepy!" She whined.

"I know" he agreed, "but your bed misses you."

"It's a bed Daddy. It doesn't miss me," Judith said crossing her arms.

"How did you get so smart?" he asked, pinching one of her cheeks. Judith pouted.

"Will it help if I come up and tuck you in?" Rick asked.

Judith's frown turned into a smile. "Okay."

Rick stood and held out his hand to Judith. She clasped it and the two of them headed upstairs. "Be right back," he called to Carl and Michonne.

Michonne leaned back in her chair and stretched some more.

"Michonne?" Carl asked, concerned about the way she was frowning.

"Yea. I'm alright. My back is just aching."

She leaned back and let her neck drop over the chair so her head was facing upwards.

"Is there anything I can do?" Carl asked.

"No. It's alright. I'm okay." She stood and stretched her back again, placing both hands on her hips and leaning backwards. Carl continued to stare at her, worried.

She sat back down in the chair.

"So, you planning on going to Oceanside in a few weeks with the next excursion?" Michonne asked him teasingly. Carl had said he'd wanted to visit again, to practice before getting a job as an expedition escort. They were people who escorted travelers on trips between communities. Although his interest in the job was genuine, Michonne suspected the real reason he was interested in the trip back to the beach community had to do with Anna.

"Um, yea. If Dad says I can. But really I'm going even if he says I can't."

Michonne looked at Carl and lifted her eyebrow.

"Those are some bold words right there," she said with a scoff.

"Well it's true. I love Dad, and I love you too, but I'm an adult now. If I have to move out to prove it to Dad I will, but I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

Michonne nodded, agreeing with Carl. It was true, he was an adult in all the ways that mattered. He could protect himself out in this world even better than she could. But Rick might see things differently.

"What about the baby?" she asked. "What if you miss the birth of your little brother or sister?"

"You think you won't have it in the next few weeks?" Carl asked, glancing over at Michonne's heavily swollen stomach. "I think it's ready to come out now."

Michonne laughed and leaned back in the chair, propping her feet up on the chair Rick had vacated.

"I hope so," she admitted. "Being nine months pregnant sucks."

"Well if you have it soon I can help for a few weeks before I leave."

"Would you ever move to Oceanside?" Michonne asked, rubbing her abdomen soothingly. She shifted position when her back started aching again.

"I don't plan on it, but I might. If I have a reason to."

When Carl saw the disappointed look on Michonne's face he added "But if I did, I'd come to visit a lot. I promise."

Rick's footsteps creaked down the steps. "She's in bed," he announced. "Y'all up for another game of Uno?"

"I think I'm gonna head up to bed too," Michonne announced. "My back is aching and I should probably lay down."

Carl stood and cleaned the cards up, shoving them back into their box. "I'm gonna read for a while" he said, picking up the lantern that was lighting the kitchen table. "Goodnight".

"Goodnight" they answered Carl in chorus, and he turned and headed into the living room.

Rick took Michonne by the elbow and helped her to the steps, giving her his arm as she climbed her way up. Her stomach was so large that she couldn't see where she was stepping, and she'd missed a step before and almost fallen.

He helped her on to the bed and then went over to a drawer where he pulled out her cocoa butter that she'd been religiously rubbing on her belly, arms, and legs. He climbed back into the bed behind her, dipping his fingers into the jar, and then placing his warm hands on her back. He rolled up her shirt so that he could view her smooth, brown skin, and began to lightly massage her back muscles.

"Lower," Michonne said softly, the muscles deep in her lower back were aching and squeezing. Rick moved his hands down lower and leaned into her as his fingers rhythmically kneaded her muscles.

"Mmmm" Michonne groaned, not from pleasure, but from pain. Her back pain was continuing even with the massage.

"Here, lay on your side" Rick suggested, pulling back the sheets so Michonne could get under them. Once she lay down and propped a pillow under her head, he continued massaging her back.

"Mmmmm" Michonne groaned again, and she stretched, trying to get comfortable. Rick continued rubbing and kneading for a few more minutes, until his own hands started to hurt. Michonne had stopped groaning, so he gradually slowed down and then stopped his massage.

"You think it's the beginning of labor?" Rick asked her.

When Michonne didn't answer he moved his head closer and could hear her deep breathing from falling fast asleep. He smiled and blew out the lantern that was illuminating their room, and fell asleep next to her.

*** **can08writer** ***

Five hours later, Michonne bolted out of her sleep. She moaned loudly, grasping her stomach in pain. She was definitely having contractions, and strong ones.

"Rick" she said, tapping him on the arm.

"Hmmm?" he asked.

"I'm in labor," she said.

*** **can08writer** ***

Michonne hated that she had to wake everyone up. Carl, Rosita, the midwife, but the baby was definitely on its way. She had slept through the lighter contractions, and now they were going full force, every three minutes.

When she wasn't contracting she was fine, but when she was she couldn't talk, she couldn't open her eyes, all she could do was breathe.

She was going into labor earlier than the midwife had predicted, but seeing as there were no ultrasounds, it was just guesswork about how old the baby was. As far as anyone knew, today could be her due date.

After shaking Carl awake and telling him what was going on, Rick asked him to stay home with Judith who was still sleeping.

She and Rick had shown up on Rosita's doorstep in the early morning, Michonne gripping the wall as she fought through a contraction.

Rosita had rushed to fill up a birthing pool that Michonne had decided to give birth in. The lack of pain medication was a fear of hers, and she wanted to get relief and relaxation from the water.

Michonne stayed out of the pool for as long as she could, pacing up and down the infirmary's hallways, squatting and rolling her hips to help ease the baby's head downwards, but soon the pain became overwhelming.

Rick helped her undress until all she was wearing was a bra, and he gently lowered her into the warm water.

"How are you feeling?" he asked while he leaned over the pool, massaging her back while she wasn't in a contraction.

"The water feels so much better" she said with her eyes still closed.

"Good" Rick said. "Let me know if you want it to be a little warmer, Rosita is heating the water now."

"Okay" Michonne said.

"More ice?" he asked. The refrigerator in the infirmary was stocked with ice whenever any of the women could possibly go into labor.

"Yea" Michonne said, opening her mouth. Rick gently pushed some between her lips and placed a kiss on her cheek before continuing the massage.

"It's coming" Michonne warned, and within seconds she released a deep moan, as another contraction gripped her body. She didn't move, she simply moaned with every breath, breathing the pain away.

Rick kept up his rhythm, continuing to rub and massage her. He was amazed at how quiet she was. When he was in the hospital when Lori gave birth to Carl, the yelling of a woman in the room next door had scared him to death. Lori had had a C-section so she hadn't felt much when having Carl, but Rick assumed women always screamed during a natural birth.

Michonne labored for another three hours, occasionally getting in and out the pool and walking when she could. At one point Michonne was so tired she'd fallen asleep in the birthing pool, making Rick panic and think she'd passed out. Rosita ran to get some honey, and they'd given her a few mouthfuls to wake her up and give her some energy. By the mid afternoon she was fully dilated and ready to push.

"Uhhhhhhhhhh" Michonne groaned in a high pitched voice.

"That's it, good job honey, just push our baby out" Rick encouraged.

"UHHHHHHHHHH" Michonne moaned louder.

The midwife who was waiting to catch the baby, stared between Michonne's legs.

"I see a head," she announced, "your baby is right there. Do you feel it?"

"Yessss" Michonne moaned, her breaths coming hard and fast. "The head is right there."

"Okay, now if you want that head to come out you're gonna have to push nice and hard" she explained. "Only you can get that head out, okay?"

"You can do this Michonne," Rick said. "I know it's been a long day but you're almost done. Our baby is almost here."

Michonne leaned back against the side of the pool, gathering her strength. She was tired and in pain, but she wasn't going to give up. Her baby needed her.

Rick placed a wet washcloth on Michonne's forehead, the cooling surface of the cloth making her feel a little better.

She took a deep breath and pushed, releasing a deep growl as her muscles clenched.

"Good job," the midwife said, "keep that up, keep on going."

Michonne breathed and then let out another growl as she pushed again.

Rick looked on in admiration. "That's it sweetheart, that's it. Great job."

Michonne pushed with all she had. It didn't feel like she was making much progress, all she felt was pressure and pain, but Rick and the midwife seemed to be happy with what she was doing so she kept it up.

"Wait, wait I need a break" she huffed after pushing for twenty minutes.

"Okay, take a break" the midwife said, "gather your strength, you tell me when you're ready to push again."

Michonne nodded, closed her eyes, and leaned against the pool. Rick massaged her shoulders as they waited.

"You're doing so well honey. I'm so proud of you. Our baby is almost here. When you're ready we'll finally get to see our baby," Rick whispered in her ear.

"Okay. I can do this," Michonne said, hyping herself up.

"You can do this," Rick repeated. "I love you."

Michonne nodded and sat up again. She placed her hands flat on the bottom of the pool floor to brace herself, opened her legs wide, and pushed down.

"Uhhhhhhh," she yelled as she pushed. "C'mon babyyyyyyy. It's coming! Uhhhhhhh it's coming! Oh my God!"

Michonne could feel the baby sliding from her, within seconds the midwife had lifted the newborn out of the water and placed it into a shocked Michonne's arms.

"There's your baby!" the woman said cheerfully.

Michonne's eyes were wide in shock as she stared down at the tiny baby in her arms. She looked from the baby to Rick, who was crying next to her, and back to the baby, scarcely believing that she was actually holding what had been growing inside of her for nine months.

"This… this is my baby?" she asked, still unable to comprehend what had happened.

"That's our baby" Rick said, his hands shaking. He was in shock too.

Michonne looked down again, still unable to comprehend that yesterday the baby had been inside of her, and today it was in her arms. Barely aware of what she was doing, she lifted the baby's leg and checked its sex.

"Oh my God, its a girl," she said, and she burst into tears.

"A little girl?" Rick asked, leaning down and kissing Michonne on the cheek, and then gently caressing the baby's head.

The little girl let out a strong wail, putting her lungs to good use.

Michonne looked down at the baby again. "You're a little girl and you're so beautiful," Michonne said to the baby. "Oh I love you so much." She cradled the baby against her chest and kissed her on the cheek.

Rick simply sobbed behind Michonne. The midwife wrapped the baby in a towel while she stayed in Michonne's arms. Her dark eyes were fixated on Michonne's face and she blinked curiously up at her mother.

"My God you're so beautiful" Michonne repeated, unable to comprehend anything else but her baby. She was in love. "You look so much like your brother."

Rick stroked the girl's dark hair. "She's looking at you," he noticed. "She knows her Mommy's voice." When he spoke the baby turned and stared at him as well.

"She knows her Daddy's voice too" Michonne said, her eyes filling with tears again. Rick pressed his lips against Michonne's forehead.

"You did so well. You're amazing Michonne. Look at our baby, she's healthy just like we wanted."

Michonne held her daughter to herself again, snuggling the tiny bundle of joy. After finding out Andre and Mike were dead, never did she imagine she'd be able to have this much love and hope in her life again. She buried her nose in her baby's hair and sobbed quietly.

 *****can08writer*****

"Mornin'" Maggie said, as Michonne made her way into the kitchen holding Madeleine, her baby girl.

"Good Morning Maggie" Michonne said, rubbing her eyes. The baby still wasn't sleeping through the night, and although Rick woke up with her to change the girl's diapers, only one of them could feed her, meaning Michonne had to be up every three hours.

"How's the little princess doin'?" Maggie asked.

"She's wide awake and hungry," Michonne said, plopping into the dining room chair. "Did Carl take Judith to school already?" Michonne asked, looking around. She was so sleep deprived she didn't even know what time it was.

"Yup, four hours ago," Maggie said, going into the cabinet to retrieve a plate. "Rick left for watch duty a few minutes ago. He was gonna wake you up to say goodbye but he knew you were exhausted. He asked me to tell you he'll be home around lunch time to take the baby for a while and let you take a nap."

Michonne smiled and sunk into her chair. She couldn't believe how great a father her husband was.

Maggie placed a plate of eggs in front of Michonne who had begun to nurse the baby. "Here's some breakfast for you while Maddie eats hers."

"Thank you so much Maggie," Michonne said.

"You're welcome," Maggie replied. "I'm sorry I can only stay for a few more days, but you know Hershel's back at home."

Michonne looked up at Maggie. "Maggie you've been such a help. Thank you for everything. I totally understand you have to go back home, but thanks for getting Judith up, and washing the dishes, and just taking care of all the little things so Rick and I don't have to. I'm so grateful."

Maggie nodded and joined Michonne at the table, watching the tiny girl. She had a full head of hair that was plastered against her head, and dark brown eyes that were now closed as she ate. Rick and Michonne had both agreed that she had Michonne's nose, hair color and eye color, but it was hard to tell if she had any of Rick's features. They figured as she grew it would become more obvious.

Michonne loved to watch her as she ate. It was a time where Michonne could bond with her daughter in a way that no one else could. Michonne patted the baby's bottom and rocked her as she smiled down at her.

"She's beautiful," Maggie said, watching Michonne's adoration of the girl.

"Thank you," Michonne said.

"You and Rick thinking about another one?" Maggie asked.

Michonne looked at Maggie out the corner of her eye.

"I didn't mean right now," Maggie said with a laugh.

"I don't know. Maddie was made at probably the worst time possible, but it all worked out. She's okay, and I'm okay. I'm torn between wanting another baby because everything worked out, and not wanting another baby in case it doesn't work out next time."

Maggie nodded her head in agreement.

"What about you? Do you think you'd ever have another baby?" Michonne asked Maggie.

"That would require finding another man. Not like there aren't any around that would jump at the opportunity to be my baby's daddy, but I haven't looked at anyone in that way. I don't think I could ever look at another man in that way again. Glenn's been gone for a while now, but in my heart he's still my husband. I still love him. I'm not ready to put that aside and move on."

Michonne looked down at her baby. "It was hard, trying to let go of Mike while another man's baby grew inside of me. It was hard but, once I did it I could fully embrace what I had. I'm not saying it's the same for you. I'm not comparing my situation to yours, and you knew Glenn much better than me, obviously, but if he loved you, I would think he'd want you to be happy."

Maggie looked up at the ceiling as if she were willing herself not to cry. "I know it's hard to understand, but I _am_ happy. Thinking about Glenn makes me happy. Remembering him makes me happy. Hershel is enough for me. Maybe that will change one day, but for now, my son's happiness is all I'm worried about. Maybe having a step dad one day will make Hershel happy, but I'm not ready for that, not yet."

Michonne reached for Maggie's hand, and Maggie clasped hers back. Michonne then sighed and changed the subject.

"When I'm finished feeding Maddie, do you think you could show me how you washed those cloth diapers again? That is definitely new to me, and I want to make sure I have it down before you go back to Hilltop."

Maggie smiled and patted Michonne's hand, glad she could help with something else. "Of course. I'll go get the bucket. When you're done, just step into my Mommy office."

*** **Six years later** ***

"It's cold!" the little girl squealed, jumping out of the water. Her fluffy brown hair was fashioned into two twists on either side of her head, and the twists bounced up and down as she jumped.

"Of course it is, it's the ocean. You have to acclimate to the water before you get in," Judith explained, pointing her long thin arm at the water. She was twelve now, and in the middle of a growth spurt, her arms and legs had grown long and she was almost the same size as Michonne.

"What's that?" the girl asked, her almond shaped eyes staring at her sister.

"Watch me. First you put the bottom of your feet in like this. It'll feel cold, but if you wait a few seconds it won't be cold anymore. Then you can step in deeper. C'mon Maddie," Judith said, reaching her hand out to her little sister.

Madeleine held Judith's hand, stepping into the cold water.

Michonne watched from the sand next to Rick. They were at Oceanside to visit Carl, who had moved in with Anna, his girlfriend of two years.

"How adorable is that?" Michonne asked as the two girls slowly made their way into the ocean water together.

"Very," Rick replied, wrapping his arms around Michonne and pulling her in to him. She rested her cheek on his chest as they watched Judith jump up and down in the water. Madeleine copied her, and soon the cold was long forgotten as they splashed water at each other.

Michonne's eyes were drawn to Carl and Anna who were surfing nearby. The couple were practically professionals at the sport, and they zigzagged across the waves.

"Rick, I think it's time. We should move here, for good," Michonne said. They had discussed the topic over and over since Carl had moved. He'd settled down and found a life for himself there, and they wanted to be close to their son. As much as they loved Alexandria, Rick had wanted to step down as leader for a while, and Madeleine was old enough to travel now.

"You really want to do it now?" he asked.

"We've talked about it so much. I think we should just stay. We can work for Cyndi at her hotel to pay for us renting one of her cabins, just until we have our own built. I'm sure Daryl will help. We can have a whole new start here. And the girls love it," Michonne said, gesturing to their daughters.

Rick looked at Carl and Anna who had ridden to shore on the same wave and were laughing together about something.

"What about all of our belongings…"

"We can always go back, Rick. But what I'm saying is we all love it here. Why not just stay?"

Rick took a deep breath and watched his whole family enjoy themselves around him. This was all he needed in his life. His family all together.

"Okay", he agreed. "We'll stay here. We'll make it work."

Michonne smiled and snuggled into her husband's chest again as she watched her family, happy and thriving. She couldn't help but turn her thoughts to Andre. How he would be if he were still alive today. What he'd be doing if he were here. She wished Andre could be part of the family she had now, and see his little sister. She hoped that wherever he was, he knew his mom was happy.

 _ **Author's Note**_ _ **: That is the last chapter for Blank Slate. I really hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review and let me know how you feel about the story. Thank you and until next time!**_


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